hard days nite

[diymirage]

kids are in bed, im grabbing a cup of coffee and ill be off to

its been a rough day for sure
we had some issues at church come to light today (i wont go into detail or we'll end up in the N&P before you can quote the first amendment)

so, just to get my mind lined back up, you guys might know my mother in law lives with us
shes 80, has alzheimers and diabetes

the last week or so, shes just been of, i mean, more off then usual
in fact, my inlaws pick her up 3, 4 times a week and their MO is to call ahead, she'll grab her purse and sit in the kitchen looking out the bay window waiting for them to show up

then when they pull into the drive, she would get up, and go outside

just last week i made the executive decision that they are no longer to do that, they now have to come into the house and pick her up personally...because she no longer recognizes the car or remember the conversation they had 10 minutes ago

(dont ask me why this wasnt the MO to begin with, it always drove me crazy the way they just waited in the car and honked if she took too long)

well, that was earlier this week

yesterday, she got home at about 7 and started making some food
come to think of it, she didnt eat it...at some point she went to use the rest room and forgot about it the food, and by 9 she was in bed

by 11, me and the wife were in bed and we're just talking, closing out or night, discussing the next day and i noticed she just sounded different
so i send the wife down to check up on her and she called me down

first thing she noticed was some blood running down the side of her mouth (looking back now, im pretty sure she had a seizure and bit her tongue or her check)
she took her bloodsugar and it was somewhere in the 500 range (which is way to high)

the wife tried to wake her up, but couldnt get her too, so at that time i called 911 and decided to let the experts handle it

while we waited for them to show up, we actually witnessed her having a seizure

im a little hazy on the next details, because once EMR showed up, i backed off, but they brought her to the local hospital, and after a few hours she got transferred to a different hospital, i believe because of the EEG or EKG monitoring abilities of the second hospital

it was there that they noticed more seizures and they put her on some anti seizure medication
after playing with the dose a bit, i believe right around noon she may have had her last one

in the mean time they ran a barrage of tests and the only one i know we are still waiting on is an MRI
once they get that, she can come of the ventilator (which i believe she was on because of the seizures, the covid test came back negative)

so...that was my day
not really, it was more the wife's day, shes still out at the hospital and hoping to spend the night there, ive just been keeping down the fort


so, im gonna finish my coffee and go to bed, just wanted to get all this off my chest

 

[WTruo]

Prayers for you and the family, brother.

 

[yellow rose]

kids are in bed, im grabbing a cup of coffee and ill be off to

its been a rough day for sure
we had some issues at church come to light today (i wont go into detail or we'll end up in the N&P before you can quote the first amendment)

so, just to get my mind lined back up, you guys might know my mother in law lives with us
shes 80, has alzheimers and diabetes

the last week or so, shes just been of, i mean, more off then usual
in fact, my inlaws pick her up 3, 4 times a week and their MO is to call ahead, she'll grab her purse and sit in the kitchen looking out the bay window waiting for them to show up

then when they pull into the drive, she would get up, and go outside

just last week i made the executive decision that they are no longer to do that, they now have to come into the house and pick her up personally...because she no longer recognizes the car or remember the conversation they had 10 minutes ago

(dont ask me why this wasnt the MO to begin with, it always drove me crazy the way they just waited in the car and honked if she took too long)

well, that was earlier this week

yesterday, she got home at about 7 and started making some food
come to think of it, she didnt eat it...at some point she went to use the rest room and forgot about it the food, and by 9 she was in bed

by 11, me and the wife were in bed and we're just talking, closing out or night, discussing the next day and i noticed she just sounded different
so i send the wife down to check up on her and she called me down

first thing she noticed was some blood running down the side of her mouth (looking back now, im pretty sure she had a seizure and bit her tongue or her check)
she took her bloodsugar and it was somewhere in the 500 range (which is way to high)

the wife tried to wake her up, but couldnt get her too, so at that time i called 911 and decided to let the experts handle it

while we waited for them to show up, we actually witnessed her having a seizure

im a little hazy on the next details, because once EMR showed up, i backed off, but they brought her to the local hospital, and after a few hours she got transferred to a different hospital, i believe because of the EEG or EKG monitoring abilities of the second hospital

it was there that they noticed more seizures and they put her on some anti seizure medication
after playing with the dose a bit, i believe right around noon she may have had her last one

in the mean time they ran a barrage of tests and the only one i know we are still waiting on is an MRI
once they get that, she can come of the ventilator (which i believe she was on because of the seizures, the covid test came back negative)

so...that was my day
not really, it was more the wife's day, shes still out at the hospital and hoping to spend the night there, ive just been keeping down the fort


so, im gonna finish my coffee and go to bed, just wanted to get all this off my chest

That’s a lot on your plate. Dealing with dementia type stuff is hard.

 

[missing linc]

Sorry to hear about your MIL, I've not had to deal with that personally, but my wife has with her father before she got him into a care center. I can only imagine the rollercoaster of emotion for you and especially your wife. Prayers for you and your family.

 

[harrisonm]

You are a good Christian man, my friend. Having an elderly family member with medical problems live with you says a lot about your character. Too many people ship them off to nursing homes. Prayers are out for her and the family.

 

[Slowswinger]

Your a strong man.

 

[Bodyperson]

You got this. 80 is old enough. Too bad she doesn't have a do not resuscitate directive. Sorry you are going through this. It's tough, I know.

 

[RustyRatRod]

Prayin for yall buddy.

 

[AlaskaJeff]

I know what you are going through brother. I had my 87 year old father move in with us a little over a year ago. He was having similar issues. He passed this past July after a losing battle with pneumonia and a UTI. It IS a monumental task caring for our elderly family members. NOT everyone is capable of the emotional and physical stress it puts on us. Stay strong and cherish the memories. Praying for peace and understanding.

 

[66fyssh]

God bless you and your wife as you deal with this. As others have said, you're a good man.

 

[diymirage]

thanks for the encouragement guys

they wife was able to stay with her mom overnite (we werent sure if they would let her)

itt sounds like she woke up a few times during the night, so they give her a mild sedative to keep her from taking the breathing tube out

as soon as they get the MRI done, were hoping to get her discharged and home
(that is of course hoping that the MRI doesnt show anything bad)

 

[Demonracer]

Alzheimer's is a horrible disease, I watched as it took my father's mind & then ten years later it took my mother's mind. I'm now dealing with it taking my mother in law & watching my wife fret & worry because she is in assisted living in anther state. With the covid crap, we cannot go see her & they are no longer doing the video calls. All we have to go on is what the staff at the living center tell us. You are a brave, courageous man, keep your faith & support your wife as much as you can, Prayers for you & your family.

 

[diymirage]

Alzheimer's is a horrible disease, I watched as it took my father's mind & then ten years later it took my mother's mind. I'm now dealing with it taking my mother in law & watching my wife fret & worry because she is in assisted living in anther state. With the covid crap, we cannot go see her & they are no longer doing the video calls. All we have to go on is what the staff at the living center tell us. You are a brave, courageous man, keep your faith & support your wife as much as you can, Prayers for you & your family.

thanks

i am so glad we are dealing with this at home (ill try not to get political here, but lets just say i trust my wifes opinion over that of whitmer on how to take care of my loved ones)

my wife spend a few years working in a retirement home and she was adamant her parents werent gonna end up there, if we could help it at all

we got a friend who still works at a retirement home and she said that she had seen alzheimer patients decline so much faster over the past 6 months, simply because they no longer see their loved ones
its almost as if the link with reality gets severed
it is a terrible disease, and ill pray for your wife and mother in law

i just heard from the wife that the MRI is scheduled for 10.30 so hopefully we can start figuring out what to do here shortly

what she is hoping for, is that the MRI will not show anything out of the ordinary, and that we can add an anti seizure medication to her regime and get her home

best case scenario, she has been having these seizures for a while and that is what caused her to be so confused

 

[Demonracer]

diymirage, your inbox is full, I was trying to send you a message.

 

[44070dart]

Gods grace to your family. Can't imagine how difficult for you and your wife to see her mother decline. Prayers for peace for your family.

 

[Sublime one]

thanks

i am so glad we are dealing with this at home (ill try not to get political here, but lets just say i trust my wifes opinion over that of whitmer on how to take care of my loved ones)

my wife spend a few years working in a retirement home and she was adamant her parents werent gonna end up there, if we could help it at all

we got a friend who still works at a retirement home and she said that she had seen alzheimer patients decline so much faster over the past 6 months, simply because they no longer see their loved ones
its almost as if the link with reality gets severed
it is a terrible disease, and ill pray for your wife and mother in law

i just heard from the wife that the MRI is scheduled for 10.30 so hopefully we can start figuring out what to do here shortly

what she is hoping for, is that the MRI will not show anything out of the ordinary, and that we can add an anti seizure medication to her regime and get her home

best case scenario, she has been having these seizures for a while and that is what caused her to be so confused

Like so many on here we too have tread upon the path you are on. It is very difficult to say the least. Not to digress but so many of us on this Forum are at the age whereas this is simply part of the wheel of life. None of us can help share the burden of pain you are enduring but at the very least know we are all here cyber like in our support for you. We are your extended family if you will. Reach out, vent or simply ramble at will. We got your back.

 

[diymirage]

diymirage, your inbox is full, I was trying to send you a message.

should be room now

Gods grace to your family. Can't imagine how difficult for you and your wife to see her mother decline. Prayers for peace for your family.

thanks

it was actually a little bit of a silver lining when her mom got diagnosed with alzheimers a few years ago
she had allready started slipping and one of the things she would do back then was constantly call my wife when we were somewhere else
it would drive my wife crazy since she though her mom was just being, i dont know, needy?
once she got diagnosed my wife was able to put to and two together, sure, she had just had this exact same conversation 10 minutes ago, but in her moms mind, it might as well have been last year

it was kinda funny, the neurologist laid out a pathway on how to care for her mom from then on, and every single step he mentioned we had allready taken

i dont know if i ever mentioned how she ended up living with us, but it started with her dads health going down
and you got to understand, he was a hard working immigrant
he worked his hands to the bone to give his family a better life and so when he moved to the US he was allready worn down and then he worked another 2 decades in a factory

well anyway, his health started to decline, and we decided we wanted to be closer to them
so, i started looking for a 2 family home, and there was nothing, i mean, nothing that was a true two family home
i didnt want him to feel like he lost his autonomy, or was living on my dime, so i didnt want him to have only a basement, or a half kitchen

so finally we bought a duplex (and a really nice one at that) it had been for sale for several years when we bought it
it was perfect, it had 1700 sqaure feet per side, full kitchen, full laundry, dual stall garages, by all accounts, it were two complete homes

this was about 8, 9 years ago
so we moved into one side, her parents into the other side (and by the way, the kids loved)
a few years after we moved in there, her dad passed away, and just being able to have the wife be there, was well worth the whole move

about a year after that, my wife went to visit her mom and found her sitting on the kitchen table
she asked he what she was making for dinner, and her response was "why, i got no one to cook for"

thats when we made the decision to start looking for a new home for her to be able to live with us
i think less then a month a later we had signed the papers on the home we are in now

and that duplex, that has been on the market for years before i bought it?
the selling realtor of the home we bought asked what we wanted to do with it, and when i told him we were gonna sell it he told me to just let him know what it appraised at, and he bought it from us, didnt even have to list it

so, thats how we ended up here
i never intended to be her nurse, but that seems to be the way life is going right now so oh well

on the bright side, she should be coming out of the MRI here shortly so that will give us a better idea of where to go from here

 

[oldkimmer]

Very sorry to hear this. Our prayers are sent. Kim

 

[diymirage]

MRI came back and she got diagnosed with HSV encephalitis (inflammation of the brain)
it had completely slipped my mind, but for the last week or two, she had been complaining about an earache and all this fits together

she is on some antibiotics and will hopefully be back home tomorrow

the wife said that when they pulled the breathing tube out she asked when i was coming to pick her up

 

[SLOPAR72]

I got nothing for this story in the way of how my week went..... You are a rare gem OP putting someone else's needs in front of yours. If more people would do just that our world would be different....

Sounds like things have turned though and she can come back home. Nice....

JW

 

[pauly]

Prayers, brother. Older parents are not fun but now is when they need us most. It’s hard but be thankful that you are able to help out as you are! God bless you!

 

[diymirage]

been a few days and we got a diagnosis back
she has some form of encephalitis, which, when TREATED has a 30% mortality rate, and when untreated it is as high as 70-80%

so, im not even gonna consider what might as happened if i had not heard her that nite

anyway, she was on the ICU untill late sunday afternoon
my was was able to with her the entire time, until she had to come home for work un sunday nite
(i would have wanted her to come home anyway, but i understand that her mom needed her, with her alzheimer, i dont know how she would have made it through those days)
plus, she had been there since late thursday nite, close to 70 hours, she needed to come home

somewhere around sunday afternoon she got moved from the ICU to the main floor because she got extubated on saturday

because there is a case of the sniffles going around, with a 0.0 and change mortality rate, they would not allow any visitors on the main floor
the finally gave an exception for my wife to stay with her, but they refused to transfer that exception to our niece
(by the way, our niece is a CNA at a nursing home and she is bilingual, so she knows how to deal with old folks, she can communicate with my mother in law AND she has MONTHS of weekly negative covid tests on file)

i was pretty pissed of at this shear level of stupidity, but after the wife had been home for about half an hour the hospital called and asked if we could send our niece over to help take care of her mom because she kept pulling the leads off


now, where we stand today
the diagnosis is HSE, which is an infection in the brain, resulting in inflammation in the brain, and presenting itself in seizures
the prognosis is good, she is taking IV antibiotics, and antisiezures

i believe we need blood tests showing being infection free for 48 hours and then she can come home

ALL THINGS CONSIDERED
i am hopefull she will come out of this unscathed, and back to her baseline of about a month ago

 

[pauly]

I will keep your MIL and your family in my prayers. There is a lot of craziness going on the world these days - call it stupidity, call it whatever you want..........................God still has a plan and HE is still in control.