A friend sent me this by email this morning. Thought y'all might get a kick out of it...
Dictionary for Women's Personal Ads
40-ish = 49
Adventurous = Slept with everyone
Athletic = No boobs
Average Looking = Ugly
Beautiful = Pathological liar
Contagious Smile = Does a lot of pills
Emotionally Secure = On medication
Feminist = Fat
Free Spirit = Junkie
Friendship First = Former very "friendly" person
Fun = Annoying
New Age = Body hair in the wrong places
Open Minded = Desperate
Outgoing = Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate = Sloppy drunk
Professional = *****
Voluptuous = Very Fat
Large Frame = Hugely Fat
Wants Soul Mate = Stalker
Women's English
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
We need = I want
I am sorry = You'll be sorry
We need to talk = You're in trouble
Sure, go ahead = You better not
Do what you want = You will pay for this later
I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
You're very attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
Men's English
I am hungry = I am hungry
I am sleepy = I am sleepy
I am tired = I am tired
Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
I love you = Let's have sex now
I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay
And finally.....
A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstural cycle.
For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.
However, when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in gasoline and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a broken 2x4 stuck up his backside.
Now send this to a man who needs a laugh or a woman with a sense of humor!!!
Dictionary for Women's Personal Ads
40-ish = 49
Adventurous = Slept with everyone
Athletic = No boobs
Average Looking = Ugly
Beautiful = Pathological liar
Contagious Smile = Does a lot of pills
Emotionally Secure = On medication
Feminist = Fat
Free Spirit = Junkie
Friendship First = Former very "friendly" person
Fun = Annoying
New Age = Body hair in the wrong places
Open Minded = Desperate
Outgoing = Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate = Sloppy drunk
Professional = *****
Voluptuous = Very Fat
Large Frame = Hugely Fat
Wants Soul Mate = Stalker
Women's English
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
We need = I want
I am sorry = You'll be sorry
We need to talk = You're in trouble
Sure, go ahead = You better not
Do what you want = You will pay for this later
I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
You're very attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
Men's English
I am hungry = I am hungry
I am sleepy = I am sleepy
I am tired = I am tired
Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
I love you = Let's have sex now
I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay
And finally.....
A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstural cycle.
For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.
However, when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in gasoline and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a broken 2x4 stuck up his backside.
Now send this to a man who needs a laugh or a woman with a sense of humor!!!