I don't get it

-
Mcduster

Mcduster

Well-Known Member
Joined
Feb 10, 2009
Messages
69
Reaction score
0
Location
Brighton Colorado
Me and the wife went to counseling, we had a money issue. We came up with a solution and a budget. The counselor decided that we need a joint account and we both should have a spending account for our own stuff. I agreed cause she has controlled the money since day one. I don't understand if I get paid every week why am I'm questioned about spending 40 bucks if I chose to. Everything is fine for me and she makes the most money out of the household, so she would make out better in the whole situation. But if I spend money on my duster it is a issue all my bills are paid, and the household stuff is taken care of. Knowing that if I came to her and said hey I need money for this and that it would not happen. Now I'm in control I can handle it and I know what is coming in and what is going out. I just don't get it...............
 
"He who desires to take a wife, will have trouble in this life."

Your Proverb for the day.

Honestly, I counsel this stuff all the time.......your counselor wants to wean her from her major control mechanism.......but it ain't gonna be a velvety smooth ride.

Get used to some bumps, and thank God for a counselor who has eyes to see.

Love her unconditionally too. Good luck. Doc
 
The wife and I have always kept seperate accounts. Many people we talked to thought that was crazy, but I'm an impulse buyer so I didn't want her money attached to mine. I started paying all home, utility, and my bills about 5 years into our relation ship; all of her money went into her bills, the house, and some for savings. I say relationship since we were together for 5 years before we got married. Having seperate accounts has always worked for us. She doesn't work anymore, but we still have seperate accounts; she handles all the finances now.
 
This sounds familiar (not me - I've dodged the marriage bullet so far). If you have a dual income, I think it's more than fair to split the bills, put an agreed amount into savings, and do whatever you want with the rest of it.
 
my wife handles all the money in our house... she is the saver, and does not like spending money so, it works great. (has worked well, we have been married 5 years this May). NOW, that does not mean that is what everyone should do.....


The main thing to remember when you get your paycheck is that a lot of that money is already spent and has already bought a lot of stuff, (spent on house, taxes, insurance, utilities, etc...)

You should both be able to have a certain amount of $$ to spend each month as you see fit.

Maybe, you could sit down and create a budget, put cash in envelopes so it is really clear what each little pile of $$ is for and how much is for what category... Do that for a few months and adjust as needed, it makes a great visual....
 
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy!If spending a bit each week,month on your car keeps you happy,so be it.Tell her once your done the car,it,s her turn for a new kitchen,vanity??Whatever she wants?Comprimise.
 
my wife and i put 2/3 of our paychecks in joint account for all bills and gas 1/3 is ours for whatever you need to have your own money at the end of week to feel it is worth working cant just work for bills gets depressing lol
 
her money is her money
my money is our money

since I make more, i'm expected to pay for almost everything.
I'm actually starting to get tired of it.
 
avarageerod said:
her money is her money
my money is our money

since I make more, i'm expected to pay for almost everything.
I'm actually starting to get tired of it.
Click to expand...

I know the feeling.
Mine isn't working, except for a baby sitting gig she has that pays about $100 a week. The *** kicker is, she'll look at me and ask why I spent $6 on a Mopar oil filter instead of the $4 Fram, but expected me not to throw a fit over her spending $150 on a Vera Bradley purse. :angry7:
 
I've heard it said that the reason why divorces are so expensive is because they're worth it.
 
I read all the posts to my girlfriend of 9 years and she didn't think it was funny. I think it is funny as all get out. I can understand your feelings, had a wife like that 10 years ago. Keep the car, got rid of the wife. B3st decision I ever made.
 
gunbunny said:
I know the feeling.
Mine isn't working, except for a baby sitting gig she has that pays about $100 a week. The *** kicker is, she'll look at me and ask why I spent $6 on a Mopar oil filter instead of the $4 Fram, but expected me not to throw a fit over her spending $150 on a Vera Bradley purse. :angry7:
Click to expand...


Who's Vera Bradley???

Here's the extra $2 for the good filter gunny. :-D
 
Personally, there should not be any "my money" "your money" in a marriage. Whatever income (single or joint) is made is "our" money. If you have the intellegence to make, and determination to keep a household budget their can and will be "extra" money for things for both of you. Now this becomes more difficult with children obviously. And a budget must be based on a 40 hour week, if you develop a budget based on additional overtime pay or other uncertain sources you are facing a high risk of financial disaster. One of the keys to a sucessful relationship is trust, both parteners should know and understand what it takes $$$$ to operate and manage your home. But that is just my view. I have been married for a total of 45 years, there have been difficut times, but none caused or created over money.
 
Women look at the big picture….. Household, family, food, living……

Men have a more personal view….. Toys, tools, dollar bills for the strippers, beer…..


Learn to understand that or don't get married.
 
I've been happily married for 26 years, we have always had seperate accounts and split up the bills based on our income. We are left with about the same amount of money to spend as we wish so no arguements. She may think that I'm spending too much on cars, and I may think she's spending too much dicking around with her hair or on clothes but it's our own money to spend as we wish. We both can just piss off if we have a problem, fair's fair. :munky2:
 
unfortunately im in the exact opposite boat as most, right now i have a job thats only two days a week and pays $54 plus tips so as much as i hate it my fiancee pays for almost everything and i put most all my money into whatever i can. she says she doesnt mind but i do. not having a good job sucks. she even pays for some car stuff for me, every chance i get i by he flowers or take her to a nice dinner and i make sure i tell her how much i love her every day, weve been together for 4 years in may
 
No wife or money sucking girlfriend here. :-D

So I can say that my money is......


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oGqcoFbPtoA"]YouTube- Van Halen - Mine All Mine (Toronto, ON, Canada ´95)[/ame]
 
It's all really rather simple - what's mine is hers and what's hers is hers....:love7:

actually it's all combined and we both enjoy our passions - Hers is a horse and mine is the horsepower.... love that Dart!
 
1968FormulaS340 said:
Women look at the big picture….. Household, family, food, living……

Men have a more personal view….. Toys, tools, dollar bills for the strippers, beer…..


Learn to understand that or don't get married.
Click to expand...


LMAO!!!!

Women worry until they have a husband.
Men never worry until they have a wife.
 
I think 90% of all fights between a husband and wife is money related. I know thats all Michelle and I fight about, even if not directly,. Example, she wants another baby. I say not now only because.........yup, cant afford it right now. It all goes back to money. I do like the seperate accounts for play money though, good idea.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
-

Back
Top