Not a happy camper

[dartcuda]

Ok, I live with my g/f with her 2 kids. One a girl, 19 and the other one is a 15 yr old boy. Now the boy seems to think he can do what ever he wants. Well, her daughter is going to move out in about a week. that's cool. And her son says he want to move into her old room. not a problem. Well he is out of town right now, and since we will have an extra room we can set up an office. So I went into his rom and was kind of sizing it up. When i noticed he had some Mopar pictures on his wall. Had never seen them there before. Well I got to looking at them and realized he had taken them out of some of my Mopar Musule Magazines. To me that is crossing the line as I veiw any iof my Mopar stuff sacred. I won't even take pictures out of them. Trust me, he isn't going to like it when he gets home.

 

[stansblue72]

Sounds like a link, give him a chance maybe that's what he needs!

 

[69signetv8]

Not laughing at ya, but I've been there dude!! It's just that age. What can ya really do? :blackeye: But I agree...it's not right going into others stuff. Kids have a lot of the "wrong" kinda guts these's days. BTW, Ya don't have to ask Dr Phil...it can be worse with split marrages. (At fifteen, he could have at least took your Playboys) LOL

 

[custom100]

hay man it sucks to find out that some one has messed with your stuff, but if you can use this to get through to him. maybe he can replace the copies with back issues?

look at it this way at least you didn't find a chevy racing hat

 

[1966 dart wagon]

look at it this way at least you didn't find a chevy racing hat

he has got a point :thumbup: ive done that to my mopar mags(took the big pics out) but i understand if you dont want him doing it especially if he didnt ask, just discuss it with him and work it out.

 

[1969340dart]

Give the kid a break! Afterall it is just a magazine! You didn't find DRUGS! I know the magazines belong to you and he should have asked before he touched.It is always difficult to be a step parent and to be a step child also. Step parents have to make a really concentrated effort to reach there step children. Maybe this is your chance to shine! Give him a chance to explain,then you explain how you feel about your things.Maybe you just found you a young partner to help with the MOPARS! Could be a blessed opportunity for you and him to really become good friends! Just be cool about your conversation,don't scream or holler at the kid. A magazine can always be replaced. Maybe you need to get him a old mopar project just a cheap one to help with his time.something you and him can spend time together on. It is difficult for a child to accept Mothers boyfriend! They miss there DAD and view you as a REPLACEMENT FOR THERE DAD! Which puts you between a rock and a hard place already. Just be cool and work with the kid a little bit. I am a stepfather! I know the difficulties that stepchildren have and go through and also the difficulties step parents go through.Takes a lot of effort on everyones part to make everything a SUCCESS!

 

[mullinax95]

Give the kid a break! Afterall it is just a magazine! You didn't find DRUGS! I know the magazines belong to you and he should have asked before he touched.It is always difficult to be a step parent and to be a step child also. Step parents have to make a really concentrated effort to reach there step children. Maybe this is your chance to shine! Give him a chance to explain,then you explain how you feel about your things.Maybe you just found you a young partner to help with the MOPARS! Could be a blessed opportunity for you and him to really become good friends! Just be cool about your conversation,don't scream or holler at the kid. A magazine can always be replaced. Maybe you need to get him a old mopar project just a cheap one to help with his time.something you and him can spend time together on. It is difficult for a child to accept Mothers boyfriend! They miss there DAD and view you as a REPLACEMENT FOR THERE DAD! Which puts you between a rock and a hard place already. Just be cool and work with the kid a little bit. I am a stepfather! I know the difficulties that stepchildren have and go through and also the difficulties step parents go through.Takes a lot of effort on everyones part to make everything a SUCCESS!

x2

 

[Coyote Jack]

I know where your coming from dartcuda. I have 3 step kids (grown up now) and 4 foster kids, (2 of which are out on there own now). Kids will do a lot of things that you know are wrong but they don't see the harm in. Work with the kid a little, but let him know it was wrong. Teach him to ask first. I find that is one of the hardest things to teach kids that are not yours. They are used to a different set of rules than yours. And like was said, maybe you can make a Mopar guy out of him.

As for this chevy hat thing that has been mentioned, it is being taken care of today.

Jack

 

[F&J]

I am a single Dad with one child ; a 15 yr old son, (and no g/f). I always let the small s--- slide because he already has been through enough, and he does tons more things that makes me happy. He & I are all that's left of our "family".

Hope you can think about the big picture of life, before he gets home.

It's tough to be a teen, even more so as a step kid, or divorced kid.

He's at the age where he could really take a wrong turn.

At least he has a similar interest, that's kinda cool..... Lighten up & try to think of all the right things he does do...or can do.

 

[340dartswinger]

this may be a good oppourtunity for you two. He is showing interest in something your interested in. I say jump on this chance to bond some with him.

 

[dartcuda]

Hey some great advice there. And trust me I have thought about it ovwer the time I have ben here. But tis is not the first time he has done stuff lke this. I save all my change in a can. Well he has taken most of what i had saved up, so I now kep it in the trunk of my Cuda. He has stole cigerittes from me, well 5 1/2 weeks ago I stopped smoking.

I also know when you get into a step parent role, that some kids will do everything in their power to break it up. They had their mother to their selfs and they don't want to share. Trust me, that is what ended my last marriage. So I do look at both sides of it. And the kid has no respect for anyone elses stuff. And she did warn me about him before I moved in.

 

[entropy]

Dartcuda, I too have been where you are now. Having raised my oldest (step)son since he was 10. I have found that a cool head & an even temper will teach your kids much more than you can imagine. Don't get me wrong, I had to punish him many times, but I always explained why and how in a calm manner. Most of all, show him you care about him and take every opportunity to teach him the right way to be a human being. My son went on to graduate with honors from high school, did 4 years in the Marines & was recruited by the Navy for their nuclear engineering program.

Have patience, and it will work. There might be some pain along the way, but how many times have you scraped your knuckles wrenching on your ride. :thumbup:

 

[rumblefish360]

WoW! Your not in an easy spot. But I do agree he should be spoken to about his thoughtless intrusion into your stuff. Ask him to think, put the shoe on the other foot. Take note of what he has and make a verbal example of "How would you feel if........"

Like said above, this is an excellent time to bond and teach about cars. A ride of his own to learn how to restore, upgrade and customize and call his own to enjoy and protect could be just the start. He'll then, in time start to see and understand how you feel about your stuff. (Even more so if big sister ever borrowed the ride.)

 

[dartcuda]

Trust me, we have talked to him about his thoughtfulnes towards other people space. He just has the attitude that he is going to do what he wants when he wants. As I have told my g/f he has what is called a criminal mind. You know how much can I get away with before I get caught. Trust me I have been down that road when I was younger. And I paid the price. Has no real respect for his mother, which is something I am very much against. I believe no matter what you respect your mother.

 

[OldVart]

Been there, had that done. One thing you'll learn as you get older and go through more relationships, is that what we see as our most prized "Possessions" really mean diddly squat in the big scheme of life. Possessions are just material objects that eventually get left behind or thrown out for one reason or another, and then we look back and wonder why we kicked up such a fuss and blew our blood pressure through the roof over them. And I don't know of too many teenagers who haven't raided the change jar or helped themselves to a few of mom's or dad's smokes. These kids are going through such dramatic changes in their lives at that age that they don't even understand their own feelings, so how can they be expected to understand how YOU feel. Take a deep breath, have a cold one, and relax.
Getting off the soap box now. :salute:

 

[demon seed]

I guess what it comes down to is finding out why he did it. Was it because he's truely interested in Mopars or was it because he just wanted to tick you off. Your step sons answer to this question will undoubtedly decide your response to his actions of cutting up your magazine for wallpaper.

Terry

 

[memike]

I have two boy's That my wife and I raised our self and I will say we did a fine job at.
At 14 or 15 they have to be busy doing something even if it is wrong.
I always liked killing them with kindness and scare the sh!! out of them when they treat mom wrong, It is a long row to hoe but it will get better!! before you know it he will be enjoying his own car and will come to you for everything, Witch is a good feeling for the booth of you. Let him read some of these threads and share this site with him. Then you sneak in his room and help your self to something that is important
to him. :salute: Just joking. Hope everything works out for the both of you. :thumbup:

Here is the one that gave me a few problems

 

[388dart]

this may be a good oppourtunity for you two. He is showing interest in something your interested in. I say jump on this chance to bond some with him.

In total agreement - it might be the turning point for him - and you.
yes, he could have asked - but for now its not pics of ??
give him a chance man.

 

[dartcuda]

Ok guys thanks. It has help me calm down that is for sure. If he had of been home when I saw what he did there is no telling what i would of done. I wil let let him know that even tho they are just magazines, they are a part of my collection. And something I take pride in having. Heck I think I still havce every Mopar mag I have ever bought going back to the first High Performance mag from March of 1988.

 

[dustertogo]

I pretty much agree with the advice the others have given. I realize this is a pretty difficult situation, but this really may be a chance to make some headway with the boy and get him focused on priorities. I'll tell you what, if you can figure out which copies of MM he cut up, and send me a PM with the issue dates, I'll send 'em to you if I have them. We don't always have chances to get through to some of our kids, but this may be yours. Good luck and keep us posted.

 

[dartcuda]

Ok, I did take your advice and talked to him, he said he found thenm in the recycle bin, which I know isn't true, and I let him know I didn't believe that. But I did let him kno wthat they were part of my collection. That I don't throw any of them out. He said he was sorry, but i did let hiom know it will take time for him to earn my trust again. So maybe this will be a good start. We will see. Again, thanks for all your advice, I believe it helped me keep my cool.

 

[clhyer]

What the others said...

As punishment for not asking, how about he details your ride this weekend (or next). Does he have a birthday or anything coming up? Maybe his own subscription to a Mopar mag - different than what you already get - so you can share them.

If he's 15, isn't it time that he has a good project car? I think you've got an excellent opportunity to bond a bit before he hits 16 and suddenly realizes that you don't know squat!
C