ScampMike
Despicable Damn Yankee
better than having to give up the real deal.. nothing worse (or so I've heard) than a detachable *****..
Stop in for a cup of coffee
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ScampMike
Despicable Damn Yankee
I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my ***** was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It's detachable.
This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
Or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
And the next morning I can't for the life of me
Remember what I did with it.
First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.
So I called up the place where the party was,
They hadn't seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
'Cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time.
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
I called a few people who were at the party,
But they were no help either.
I was starting to get desperate.
I really don't like being without my ***** for too long.
It makes me feel like less of a man,
And I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.
After a few hours of searching the house,
And calling everyone I could think of,
I was starting to get very depressed,
So I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place,
Where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
I saw my ***** lying on a blanket
Next to a broken toaster oven.
Some guy was selling it.
I had to buy it off him.
He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.
I took it home, washed it off,
And put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
But I don't know.
Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ***,
I like having a detachable *****.
And my ***** was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It's detachable.
This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
Or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
And the next morning I can't for the life of me
Remember what I did with it.
First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.
So I called up the place where the party was,
They hadn't seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
'Cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time.
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
I called a few people who were at the party,
But they were no help either.
I was starting to get desperate.
I really don't like being without my ***** for too long.
It makes me feel like less of a man,
And I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.
After a few hours of searching the house,
And calling everyone I could think of,
I was starting to get very depressed,
So I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place,
Where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
I saw my ***** lying on a blanket
Next to a broken toaster oven.
Some guy was selling it.
I had to buy it off him.
He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.
I took it home, washed it off,
And put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
But I don't know.
Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ***,
I like having a detachable *****.
Ddaddy
Just doing what I do
Depends on whether it still works (and you can feel what it's up to) when 'detached'. Lots of possibilities if it does!
Ben Drinkin
Hey bartender!
Holy crap! I ain't detaching a damn thing!
MomsDuster
Well-Known Member
Ddaddy
Just doing what I do
IDK, I think you are probably in the process of detaching your sober brain from your body...
I can see it coming!
Ben Drinkin
Hey bartender!
uou are correct about that.. i ain't detaching anything IMPORTANT!
Ben Drinkin
Hey bartender!
Daddy Dave and his magic keyboard and a picture of Tom sell lick
Ben Drinkin
Hey bartender!
It could get rough... i can only imagine what might come from the mind of Dave...
Ddaddy
Just doing what I do
Here's your shirt back Ben...
Ben Drinkin
Hey bartender!
You ***! You're the ****!!!
I just knew it was going to happen
Ddaddy
Just doing what I do
Santa knows what the future will bring!
Ddaddy
Just doing what I do
Note the 'fur' on the chest...
Ben Drinkin
Hey bartender!
I am nothing if not furry!Note the 'fur' on the chest...
Ddaddy
Just doing what I do
Ok, fully refined (subtly different) and suitable for framing, e-mail, black-mail, chain-mail, alibis and other miscellaneous and nefarious purposes...
Ben Drinkin
Hey bartender!
damn I'm hot!!!
Ddaddy
Just doing what I do
It's only because you are sitting in the sun in Hawaii...LOL!
zkx14
Duster De-ruster
Ben's gonna have so many fake pics. He's gonna forget which ones are really him a few years from now. Oh yeh, I remember that...NOT! 
Ben Drinkin
Hey bartender!
There are no fake pics! Those are all real!Ben's gonna have so many fake pics. He's gonna forget which ones are really him a few years from now. Oh yeh, I remember that...NOT!
Princess Valiant
A.K.A. Rainy Day Auto
what are you weirdos in here doing now. (mr. Benrick, I am looking in your direction) 
J/K
J/K
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Ddaddy
Just doing what I do
But if he's senile and doesn't know which ones are reality, it just makes for a happier time in the old folks home remembering the days gone by of the time he spent in Hawaii and posing for Cosmo. He will be the Hero of the floor as he tells the tales of the life he thinks he lived...and they will adore him! He will get more tail then then than ever.Ben's gonna have so many fake pics. He's gonna forget which ones are really him a few years from now. Oh yeh, I remember that...NOT!
Sure, it will be the old lady kind...but by then he won't remember the difference, and just be happy gettin' some...more!
Ddaddy
Just doing what I do
Sez the crazy raccoon chasing Indian lady with the checkered past of running from the cops and winding up in zip-tie handcuffs...LOL!what are you weirdos in here doing now. (mr. Benrick, I am looking in your direction)
J/K
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