Things You Need To Know If You Move To The South

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RustyRatRod said:
THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW IF YOU MOVE TO THE SOUTH
1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South.
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South, plus a couple no one's seen before.
4. If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.
5. Onced and Twiced are words.
6. It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy!
7. Jawl-P? means: Did you all go to the bathroom?
8. People actually grow, eat, and like okra.
9. Fixinto is one word. It means I'm going to do something.
10. There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there's supper.
11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar. It is referred to as the Wine of the South.
12. Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you.
13. The word jeet is actually a question meaning, 'Did you eat?'
14. You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH em.
16. Y'all is singular. All Y'all is plural.
17. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal.
18. You carry jumper cables in your car for your OWN car.
19. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, mustard, Tabasco, and ketchup.
20. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local high school sports, motorsports, and gossip.
21. Everyone you meet is a Honey, Sugar, Miss (first name), or Mr (first name)
22. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
23. You know what a hissy fit is..
24. Fried catfish is the other white meat.
25. We don't need no dang Driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive!!!
26. You understand these jokes and forward them to your Southern friends and those who just wish they were from the SOUTH.
AND one more:
27. Why did the chicken cross the road? To show that stupid possum that it CAN be done!
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That made me laugh all through it, thanks Y'all!
 
You know you’re in the South when in line at the store, and the individual if front starts telling his life story. Like I give a rat’s ***.
 
I had a a drinking buddy years ago from down south, I remember he'd say "I'm fixinto get up and kill you..." :) I miss that guy he died about 12 years back, but always good for a laugh especially when out in public...hed walk up and talk to anybody especially women.
 
Taciturn don’t speak more than you have to. Three word stories, one of which starts with f, then back to splitting wood.
 
Mark Wainwright said:
Ok Dusty.. let the cat out of the bag what does Taciturn mean?
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A man of few words, you might say.

Dusty I've always been extremely versed in the English language. That was actually my other love in school besides auto shop. I could have probably been an English teacher. I have a serious knack for putting words and phrases together. Always had really high Bs or all As in English and rarely cracked a book.

If you see me misspell something, it's more often I'm typing like I "tawk" for instance. Words such as "caint" and droppin the "G" on present participles, for instance. It's a southern thing.
 
Damn northerner here. None o youse have no idear what you are missin!
Parkas
Thermal underwear
Insulated boots
Touques
Block heaters
Snow shovels
And best of all
Frostbite with a touch of hypothermia

anybody got a spare room??
 
Tooljunkie said:
Damn northerner here. None o youse have no idear what you are missin!
Parkas
Thermal underwear
Insulated boots
Touques
Block heaters
Snow shovels
And best of all
Frostbite with a touch of hypothermia

anybody got a spare room??
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and dont forget, buiding a fire to stay warm inside a shanty...let that one sink in (yes, pun intended)
 
DustyDuster said:
You know you’re in the South when in line at the store, and the individual if front starts telling his life story. Like I give a rat’s ***.
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That happens here as well. Or everyone in line plus the cashier will have a conversation about something that happened 20 years ago. All complaining aside I don’t know how you big city guys tolerate the rushed life.
 
Salt on the sidewalk, window defrosters, ice dams in the gutters, had a can of beer freeeze in my pocket, ice golf, sledding, skating rink in the backyard. Notice a theme?
 
BTW moved from a Detriot (not misspelled)suburb to a rural area, just like stepping back in time 30 years. Strangers say hi, I know all my neighbors and have helped many of them, and they return the favor. When I smoke a big brisket I share, when they put up some jam they share. We actually let cars in infront of us and yes if you are driving down my street I wave to you.
 
Forgot, doors on truck frozen shut,or like tonight- the passenger door wouldnt latch after opening it. Ya,that was fun.
 
Slowswinger said:
That happens here as well. Or everyone in line plus the cashier will have a conversation about something that happened 20 years ago. All complaining aside I don’t know how you big city guys tolerate the rushed life.
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You learn body work quickly
 
RustyRatRod said:
A man of few words, you might say.

Dusty I've always been extremely versed in the English language. That was actually my other love in school besides auto shop. I could have probably been an English teacher. I have a serious knack for putting words and phrases together. Always had really high Bs or all As in English and rarely cracked a book.

If you see me misspell something, it's more often I'm typing like I "tawk" for instance. Words such as "caint" and droppin the "G" on present participles, for instance. It's a southern thing.
Click to expand...
You speak English in the south? Loll
 
You forgot a few I've heard over the years...

"The butthole counts"

"If she smokes she pokes"

"Old enough to pee...old enough for me"

"Wipe it till it bleeds"

"Wrong hole, pa"
 
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