wife talkin divorce , prayers needed

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thanx everyone , i know she has not been happy for a while , even before i got hurt . I can do only whats within my power to do , i am not a quitter and am not giving up . My main concern are my kids though , life is hard enough as is never mind splitting up a family . I really appreciate everyones prayers , input and advice .
 
oldcarnut said:
thanx everyone , i know she has not been happy for a while , even before i got hurt . I can do only whats within my power to do , i am not a quitter and am not giving up . My main concern are my kids though , life is hard enough as is never mind splitting up a family . I really appreciate everyones prayers , input and advice .
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I see you are another Okie. There are quite a few of us Okies on FABO. PMs are always welcome if you want to bend an ear.
 
oldcarnut said:
thanx everyone , i know she has not been happy for a while , even before i got hurt . I can do only whats within my power to do , i am not a quitter and am not giving up . My main concern are my kids though , life is hard enough as is never mind splitting up a family . I really appreciate everyones prayers , input and advice .
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like you said the kids are the most important thing here.


sometimes a split household is better then an unhappy one.

no matter what happens the two of you need to make sure your civil to each other in front of the kids and never badmouth the other parent in front of the kids..


things will work out no matter what directions things go.



.
 
abodyjoe said:
like you said the kids are the most important thing here.


sometimes a split household is better then an unhappy one.

no matter what happens the two of you need to make sure your civil to each other in front of the kids and never badmouth the other parent in front of the kids..


things will work out no matter what directions things go.



.
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Yes. It is better for the kids if you be civil to each other while working things out.

Don't put the kids in the middle and use them as pawns against each other.

Make sure that the kids can see both parents when they want/need to. They need both partents as they grow up. At least with divorce, they still have two parents. Much better than losing a parent or both to a disease or tragic accident.

Everyone will learn to adapt to the new situation.

Good luck, we're here for ya.

PS. Ask around and find a good lawyer also.
 
John,

It may get dark before you see the light, but the sun will shine again. Hang in there and do what is right for your children.
 
Been there,

You'll think it's the end of the world, but in time you will find that it's not. The biggest adjustment will be living by yourself but you might eventually find that it's not all that bad. After a period of time things between you and your wife might mend. I wish you luck my friend and I will most definately pray for you.
 
I would like to pray this prayer for you and your family:
Lord please we ask for Your loving embrace for our family in need. Lord please touch their hearts with Your Healing hands, bring them together Your love. Embrace them let them know You are there to help them through their hardships and struggles together. Guide them to seek You Lord and ask for Your help and guidance. Help them to realize it is the hardships in life we endure as a family that are the defining moments of what makes a “family”. Lord in Your precious name Lord we pray-Amen
The prayer warriors of Indy are praying for your family-may God bless
 
make sure ya start puttin everything in your name....separate your accounts,...etc...
i wish you the best. prayers sent.
 
Take the kids to school and pick them up.
Make a new e-mail account and save all records and photos you can.
DO NOT MOVE OUT OF THE HOUSE OR AWAY FROM THE CHILDREN.

May God bless you

Michael
 
oldcarnut said:
married 15 years , 3 kids 3,8 & 10 , i hurt my back a year ago & been outa work , 5 damaged discs & on opiates fors full year & im detoxing right now . Hoping to be back to work in a month or so , No unfaithfullness or abuse , my parents divorced when i was 4 yrs old . This is ripping me apart inside , please keep me and my family in your prayers......only God can fix this
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I've been married for 32 years and with her for 36. You need to listen to her complaints and then talk them out. Marraige is a two way street. If you let your "macho" side guide you it will fail. Both sides have to give and take. One question you should ask yourself: How bad do you want the marriage to work?
 
DartSport3604-Speed said:
I would like to pray this prayer for you and your family:
Lord please we ask for Your loving embrace for our family in need. Lord please touch their hearts with Your Healing hands, bring them together Your love. Embrace them let them know You are there to help them through their hardships and struggles together. Guide them to seek You Lord and ask for Your help and guidance. Help them to realize it is the hardships in life we endure as a family that are the defining moments of what makes a “family”. Lord in Your precious name Lord we pray-Amen
The prayer warriors of Indy are praying for your family-may God bless
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Amen.
 
My prayers sent for you & your wife & family. You need to find out how serious she is about getting a divorce. Is she just threatening you to get you to address an issue or is she ready to pack her bags & go. Women can be very passive agressive, meaning they will say or do things to manipulate us into changing rather than coming straight out with what they want. I would say you need to get her to tell you everything that is really bothering her(if she hasn't done so already) & find out what she really wants. Be prepared to have to hear things about yourself you might not like to admit. Don't place blame on her for things at this point. Blame is counter productive! You need to find solutions.The 1st thing it takes is being totally honest with yourself & then, & only then, being totally honest with each other about it. Love conquers all. If she is a woman of faith pray openly together. Ask God for help together & take the journey toward reconcilliation together. A house divided will not stand.

"Therefore what God has joined let no man separate."

I pray for you recovery from the back pain & your dependancy.
 
When you mention detox this gives me a idea that you have been "high" around her correct? I know all about drugs and alcohol. I am a recovering dope head alcoholic myself. Been sober 11 yrs now. So IF and I say IF you have been high or drunk around her because of the narcotics then you have played a big role in her wanting out of the marriage. Now I don't know you at all but from the people I know including myself anyone that is detoxing has had a pretty good about of drugs or alcohol through their system. Not saying your a addict but tell her to got to Al-ANON.

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/

This is for people who aren't alcoholics but has a friend or family member who is one. It is mainly for alcohol abuse but it will be just as beneficial to her even though we are talking narcotics in your case.
 
If she's told you she wants out she has already made a plan . as others have mentioned protect yourself now she's gathering ammo , take your kids to and from school .take them to their extra activities and if you can afford it rent her an apartment and get someone to move all her stuff into while she is out one day , send her to a spa weekend if you have to then move her out and change the locks . The courts will keep the kids in the family home with whichever parent is there and being that parent is the most important tool you have . Contrary to what people want to think not every marriage can be saved one of the guys at our gun club just opened up about his wife of 30 years , she huts menopause and now wants out the guy is 68 and she wants him to hand her half the value of the house and buy her a new car so she can move to New Mexico to be an artist in the desert no amount of counseling has helped and this poor guy now has to sell the house he spent 30 years paying for just so she will stay out of his pension otherwise she;s going to claim abuse and take half of that as well .
 
mullinax95 said:
Once the divorce word is mentioned the marriage is over. Get a good lawyer NOW!
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I heard the Same thing over and over for a year and refused to believe it. had the check written to the lawyer to draw separation papers. left it on the table for a while. We caught a couple good "breaks" couple of old timey moments and we have turned a Huge corner . we are as far from over as possible. Don't be foolish if she is moving that way be prepared sure, but Faith by definition is walking a path that you can see in front of you or under your feet. Restoration is the name of the game on this site and a Million cash for clunker types would never understand . but if there is something between you two that is worth restoring FIX it its what we all do to the cars here
 
Think about the kids, its not all about yourself or wife. Not being mean but talk to a counselor or pastor. Good luck and Ill save a prayer for you.
 
cannucky said:
if you can afford it rent her an apartment and get someone to move all her stuff into while she is out one day , send her to a spa weekend if you have to then move her out and change the locks . The courts will keep the kids in the family home with whichever parent is there and being that parent is the most important tool you have .
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LOL...... Do not do this.

The courts and police will NOT like any of the above reccomendations.
 
well she was going to serve me papers tomorrow but after much talking she has decided to give us another go , she says lets see what happens till after ther the first of the year . So i guess the ball is in my court , @ least she has admitted to being at fault as well . Its time to step up my game and give it my all . Im quite familiar with the addiction side of things unfortunately . I had been clean and sober for 15 years until this injury & i know the pills brought back from the dead a lot of behaviors she had never seen in me.
So now this time around ive got to suck it up & live with the pain if i want to have a chance for this relationship to survive . I am not interested in living the life of a junkie .And i certainly dont want my kids growing up ashamed of me or not knowing me @ all . I thank God that @ least ive got some time to prove my love to her . I just hope she will fall in love with me again. Thank you everyone for your support
 
Just take it one day at a time. Prayers and Faith always help. Seek out your pastor if you have one. You can make this work. By her giving you another chance, that shows she still cares. Let her know how much you appreciate her giving you and her another chance. Praying for you brother.
 
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