A question about etiquette ...What to expect for a day of helping people?
- Thread starter Kern Dog
- Start date
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It was very inconsiderate I agree. I bet the guy was a twice Obama voter.
Expectations and expecting a thank you are different things.
If you guys surprised him by showing up, caught him unprepared? Age may play a factor though.
I wouldnt be surprised if car gets sold.
Yer justified with your feelings, but dont sweat things out of your control, not worth the stress. Store it n forget it.
If you guys surprised him by showing up, caught him unprepared? Age may play a factor though.
I wouldnt be surprised if car gets sold.
Yer justified with your feelings, but dont sweat things out of your control, not worth the stress. Store it n forget it.
MOPAROFFICIAL
Oogliboogli
Idk, 3 way with his hot granddaughter..?
Jk.
Idk 50.00 each and beer n food all day ?
Are you friends or just acquaintances?
Beer and food are mandatory for friends, sometimes parts gifts... but it depends on what's going on.
gunbunny
Well-Known Member
Your post reminded me of something.
A couple years ago, I had a young man walk into the shop. He looked at me kinda strange, then finally asked if I worked with a Santa program. I told him that I have for the past 25 years. He then told me he was one of the kids that was involved with the program.
I rarely learn about some of these kids background, but this "kid" told me that was the best Christmas he had ever had in his life to that point.
His dad was out of the picture, mom had a drug problem and he was passed from family member to family member. But that one day in his life, he said people were truly nice to him and acted like they cared. He told me that he especially remembered that I went out of my way to talk to him. I was the 1st adult male that wasn't mean to him. I have no idea what I did, or said, I doubt it was anything I wouldn't do for anyone else. But, it was enough to make a lasting impression on that young man.
I'm not to proud to admit, when he left, I went into the office and sobbed like a baby. Kinda tearing now just thinking about that day.
I've been frustrated lately, one of my sponsors, Payless Shoes, went out of business. I've been worrying about where I'm going to find 25 pairs of shoes at Christmas. It'll work out, I'll figure something out. I always do. That visit by that young man reminded me why I bother.
Not everybody gets a fair chance, and if there's something, even meaningless on your part, that you can do, just do it.
Water, soda, Gatorade to hydrate, food also, beer later if wanted ( don't know bout You, but I can't drink and work, one or the other) I always say up front, "ain't asking for free", I always pay something depending on the job.
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THe guy knows that I don't drink. He doesn't either. He plays the "old man" card to his advantage. Of the three that were there to help, I am the most outspoken one. He may get them to come back again but I will not.
I do know that he appreciates the help but I would TOO if three guys did all the work while I walked around trying to look busy.
Headers....TTI 1 7/8" and they slipped in pretty easily with the extra help. I am used to doing car stuff alone, headers included. My second set in my own car took 9 hours in 2004. I have cut that time down dramatically. Having extra eyes and hands really helps!
THis will be the that guy at the car shows that will sound like this:
What is the compression ratio? I don't know, I'll have to ask Ernie the Engine man.
Did the car have much rust? Not much, I had Dan Panelbammer do the bodywork and Peter the Painter spray it.
Did you rebuild the suspension to stock specs? No, I had some guys install Hotchkis torsion bars, another guy put in the Master Power brakes, blah, blah, blah...
Headers too, huh? Were they hard to install? Not at all. They dang near slipped right in. I didn't have to do anything.
I do know that he appreciates the help but I would TOO if three guys did all the work while I walked around trying to look busy.
Headers....TTI 1 7/8" and they slipped in pretty easily with the extra help. I am used to doing car stuff alone, headers included. My second set in my own car took 9 hours in 2004. I have cut that time down dramatically. Having extra eyes and hands really helps!
THis will be the that guy at the car shows that will sound like this:
What is the compression ratio? I don't know, I'll have to ask Ernie the Engine man.
Did the car have much rust? Not much, I had Dan Panelbammer do the bodywork and Peter the Painter spray it.
Did you rebuild the suspension to stock specs? No, I had some guys install Hotchkis torsion bars, another guy put in the Master Power brakes, blah, blah, blah...
Headers too, huh? Were they hard to install? Not at all. They dang near slipped right in. I didn't have to do anything.
Ddaddy
I'm changing the World... one pixel at a time!
A gift freely given does not ask for, nor require, reciprocity. That’s why it’s called a “gift”.
If it was a business arrangement you wanted, then you should have negotiated it up front.
If it was a business arrangement you wanted, then you should have negotiated it up front.
Someone asking you for help is not necessarily a gift that you are giving.
It's just like when somebody walks into your barn, there are certain rules that are followed.
One is you don't go touching the face of every horse you see without having first ask permission.
Another is you don't go feeding them treats or feeding them at all without first asking permission.
If you go to somebody's place and you wind up spending hours helping them you have a right to have an expectation of being treated decently.
Many good points. Free labour has its limits.
I will go out of my way to help someone in need,as mentioned earlier like fixing a flat or changing a tire.
Couple minute job and its just easier to send customer on his way.
Neighbour needs a part welded in his boathouse. 2 minutes of welding. But load welder and generator. Unload welder load welder unload welder and generator.what part of job is more difficult?
Probably 20 bucks.
Neighbourly thing to do.
I will go out of my way to help someone in need,as mentioned earlier like fixing a flat or changing a tire.
Couple minute job and its just easier to send customer on his way.
Neighbour needs a part welded in his boathouse. 2 minutes of welding. But load welder and generator. Unload welder load welder unload welder and generator.what part of job is more difficult?
Probably 20 bucks.
Neighbourly thing to do.
What the hell is this? You just chiming in to play Devil's advocate?
Are you the type of guy that uses people under the guise of "Friendship" ?
Would you be okay with feeling used after 5 1/2 hours of doing most of the work on someone else's car?
Mopar-Mitch
Well-Known Member
This reminds me of a neighbor I used to have, I was working 12 hrs a day back then just to have Saturdays off. My next door neighbor would ride over on his 4 wheeler and get me out of bed real early asking for help, he had surgery for cancer and I was glad to help him, he had a hired hand to help him on his farm who he paid and he made it a habit to get me up on Saturday mornings to help, usually moving antique funurtiure around he would sell something and have me come and help his hired hand move it. He started getting real bossy and particular with me and he never offered me anything but I was still glad to help because I felt bad for him having cancer and all. He came and got me one morning and his water line had busted under his blacktop drive, he didn't want to dig the blacktop up so he had his hired hand dig a hole on each side at the water line and was running copper line through the plastic line that had busted. He had me driving the line through while his hand held a piece of wood against it. He started yelling easy don't bend it and I was trying to be careful, well the line bent and he cussed me, I got mad but didn't say anything and just walked off and went home without a thank you or nothing. He came over a few weeks later and I told my wife to tell him I was busy and didn't have time. I guess he got the point after that because he quit coming over. I don't know if I handled it right or not, he died about a year later from the cancer, I guess all we can do is pray for the sick and elderly sometimes maybe their not in the right mind.
You handled the cussing better than I would have. I wouldn't care if he had cancer or not, I would have wrapped that copper line around his throat.
You can use me but don't abuse me.
famous bob
mopar misfit
You were being taken advantage of --------
famous bob
mopar misfit
Agree, I wouldn`t have wrapped the line around his throat, but dam sure would have been done with him .
Got a story close to that , but there may be a few on here that would know who I`m talking about , and don't want to banish him , were friends for over 50 yrs. !
You forgot no smoking.
Don Selleck
Well-Known Member
you did the right thing, sometimes stuff like that does come back around to you in a positive way, ask him for a helping hand someday, even if its just a hold here job, that will be your answer to helping him again, some people need to be pushed into doing the right thing, if its just laziness, the tom saywer trick, or plain ignorance of the matter at hand.
I will say that anybody that knows me knows that I volunteer for a lot of things in my life. I go in with the expectation that I will do whatever it takes to get the job done that I volunteered for. I treat every day the same, I have 24 hours, just like everyone else. If I didn’t want to do something I would simply not do it. I always do the same thing, whether it’s going to work or play, I take drinks and food in my lunch box, eat at the same time every day, rely on no one but myself, and blame no one but myself if I forget something. I always receive a reward for my hard work, and that is my satisfaction for doing a job right.
That said, after years of giving freely to people, I am now very choosy as to who I help. I quit allowing myself to be used by family members, only because I help them and they don’t help anybody else. I don’t want their help, and dont expect it, but I do expect them to help other family members that they are taking advantage of and not helping. Because they don’t, I don’t allow myself to do anything else for them. Yes, they are pissed and dont talk to me anymore, and had I known this I would’ve stopped letting them take advantage of the situation years ago.
Bottom line...look for the joy in everything you do. It’s there, sometimes it’s just harder to find. In Kerns example, it was one day, 5 hours, and maybe working on that Charger will yield dividends down the road, when he gets his Charger.
That said, after years of giving freely to people, I am now very choosy as to who I help. I quit allowing myself to be used by family members, only because I help them and they don’t help anybody else. I don’t want their help, and dont expect it, but I do expect them to help other family members that they are taking advantage of and not helping. Because they don’t, I don’t allow myself to do anything else for them. Yes, they are pissed and dont talk to me anymore, and had I known this I would’ve stopped letting them take advantage of the situation years ago.
Bottom line...look for the joy in everything you do. It’s there, sometimes it’s just harder to find. In Kerns example, it was one day, 5 hours, and maybe working on that Charger will yield dividends down the road, when he gets his Charger.
THanks. I already have mine!
Or should I say working in his Charger.
Well I just read this whole thing and I agree you should feel a bit used. Time is money and he obviously does not understand that. I am younger than a lot of guys on here I think. (37) I was raised in the deep south so being respectful of your elders and helping your neighbors is ingrained in me. When I was younger I would do all I could to help people. Call it bitterness or just wear and tear but people in this day and age will use you up. No appreciation, no thank you. Almost as if you owe it to them just for being there. Work with the public for a few years and you will see what I mean. I'm sure someone on here does and most can tell you. Most people now suck, its about them and only about them. Lol, I do sound bitter but I truly do now believe at this stage in my life that nice guys really do finish last.
adriver
Blazing Apostle
Lots of TLDR.
Ok.
MY second post here.
The answer is I can't work 5 hours with no food.
Delimnma solved.
Ok.
MY second post here.
The answer is I can't work 5 hours with no food.
Delimnma solved.
There are 3 kinds of people in this world. Makers, takers and fakers. If your "friend" doesn't share his skills with you and others as you have shared your skills with him, guess which category he fall in.
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