slantsixdan
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Monday afternoon, having taken nearly 500 pictures at the North American International Auto Show (on a press pass; my initial coverage of Chrysler's press conference is up on Allpar with odd page formatting), I had about half an hour before a meeting, so I thought I'd go back across the street to the parkade and get something out of my car that I needed to send in a FedEx box. I left Cobo Center by one of the side doors. Across the sidewalk from the base of the steps was a man half-kneeling/half-sitting, rocking back and forth in the bitter cold. He had a crude patch -- long overdue for changing -- over one eye and a "Please help thank you" sign in his hands. There was an empty cup in front of him. He wasn't speaking to any passers-by, and he wasn't in anybody's way. He was crouched between a signpost and a bollard; nobody walks there.
I'd left my coat at the coat check inside, for I was only going across the street. A short walk, but a very cold one. On the way back, I stopped at the crouching man, looked him in the eye and said "Sir, can I buy you something to eat?" He said "If you'd like to, that'd be great, thanks." I said "What would you like? Sandwich or something?" He said "Sure…er…actually, a coffee would be even better." I said "Sure. What do you take?" Cream and sugar.
I went in and bought a large coffee with cream and sugar, paid with a twenty, wrapped the change around the coffee cup, grabbed a napkin, and brought it all out to him. Introduced myself. His name was Todd. We talked for a minute or so and then he said "Here comes a cop. I'll have to go." Sure enough, the cop came over and said "How long were you planning on staying here?" Todd said "I was just leaving, Officer." The cop said "What a good idea. You can't be impeding pedestrians." I said "Officer, he didn't get in my way, or even speak to me. He looked cold, so I bought him that coffee." The cop said "You're talking to him now, aren'tchya? That means he's impeding a pedestrian, whether intentionally or not. It doesn't pay to be nice here." I said "Oh!" The cop said "Where are you from?" I said "Toronto." He said "Yeah, well, we do things differently here. If you don't like it, you can apply to be a Detroit cop." I said "Sorry, I didn't mean to sound like I was telling you how to do your job." The cop said, mostly to Todd but partly to me, "Yeh, well. So you were just leaving, you said. If I come back around and you're still here, somebody's getting a ticket or going to jail."
A couple hours later when I left the building again, this time for the day, Todd was back in the same place. I talked with him for a couple minutes, keeping an eye out for cops. He said there was a program for homeless people to get canned food, but this time of year it freezes so they can't eat it. Somebody brought some kerosene heaters, so now those who got one can eat when they get canned food. Presumably they can also be marginally less likely to freeze to death. No word on what happens when the kerosene runs out.
Yeah, yeah, I know. In the Greatest Country Ever in the Whole World™ we gotta present the illusion of universal prosperity, gotta keep the icky Have-nots outta sight to prevent any icky questions occuring to any Haves. But believe you me, this is the story I'm going to tell the next time I see some nitwit claiming America is a Christian country.
I'd left my coat at the coat check inside, for I was only going across the street. A short walk, but a very cold one. On the way back, I stopped at the crouching man, looked him in the eye and said "Sir, can I buy you something to eat?" He said "If you'd like to, that'd be great, thanks." I said "What would you like? Sandwich or something?" He said "Sure…er…actually, a coffee would be even better." I said "Sure. What do you take?" Cream and sugar.
I went in and bought a large coffee with cream and sugar, paid with a twenty, wrapped the change around the coffee cup, grabbed a napkin, and brought it all out to him. Introduced myself. His name was Todd. We talked for a minute or so and then he said "Here comes a cop. I'll have to go." Sure enough, the cop came over and said "How long were you planning on staying here?" Todd said "I was just leaving, Officer." The cop said "What a good idea. You can't be impeding pedestrians." I said "Officer, he didn't get in my way, or even speak to me. He looked cold, so I bought him that coffee." The cop said "You're talking to him now, aren'tchya? That means he's impeding a pedestrian, whether intentionally or not. It doesn't pay to be nice here." I said "Oh!" The cop said "Where are you from?" I said "Toronto." He said "Yeah, well, we do things differently here. If you don't like it, you can apply to be a Detroit cop." I said "Sorry, I didn't mean to sound like I was telling you how to do your job." The cop said, mostly to Todd but partly to me, "Yeh, well. So you were just leaving, you said. If I come back around and you're still here, somebody's getting a ticket or going to jail."
A couple hours later when I left the building again, this time for the day, Todd was back in the same place. I talked with him for a couple minutes, keeping an eye out for cops. He said there was a program for homeless people to get canned food, but this time of year it freezes so they can't eat it. Somebody brought some kerosene heaters, so now those who got one can eat when they get canned food. Presumably they can also be marginally less likely to freeze to death. No word on what happens when the kerosene runs out.
Yeah, yeah, I know. In the Greatest Country Ever in the Whole World™ we gotta present the illusion of universal prosperity, gotta keep the icky Have-nots outta sight to prevent any icky questions occuring to any Haves. But believe you me, this is the story I'm going to tell the next time I see some nitwit claiming America is a Christian country.
