Divorce

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CudaChick1968 said:
Adam, I learned a couple things reading this thread. Contrary to what most women think, men really DO have feelings about things besides food, liquor and sex and aren't as afraid to share them as they'd have us believe. The other obvious thing -- and much more important -- is that you have dozens of friends here who are willing to help you through this tough time with outstanding advice, let you lean on them as needed, and who will be there for you at all times. Your FABO support network is always available, and I just wanna let you know that I'm one of them. :-D
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thats enough of that leanne.lol,feelings ,we dont have no stinkin feelings. crazy woman. lol j/k
 
Good luck to ya man... I can't imagine going through it. These guys here, that have replied and offered their support, sound like a good bunch and seem to have some good sound advice.

I hope it works out for you.

Take care,

Joe
 
I might not know as much as many of the folks on here about Mopars,but I do know something about this topic.
First off, do as much as you can to save what you've got. Once you sign on the dotted line it's a whole new ball game.
You've heard the jokes about lawers? Wait until your life is held in the ballance by not one but two. I joke around and say" theres only one person in this world who can tell me what to do, and thats my wife's lawer" But it's the truth. They are the only ones who make out on these deals.
Plus when there's kids involved that just multiplies the problems.
I'm no bleading heart, but I'll bet just about all of the people on this site who have been through this will agree that if they had the chance they would attempt to try just one more time a little bit harder.
Ted
 
Been there, done that. Excellent advice from the other posts..... you CAN'T drink your feelings away.....concentrate on hobbies/job.......don't badmouth your spouse in front of the kids.......FWIW, ex and I just told the kids "sometimes you fall in love and sometimes you fall out of love, but you kids had nothing to do with us getting a divorce". It took eight years for me to talk to the ex but when the weddings & grandkids started, we had no choice but to be civil around the family. Now, after 24 years, we actually get along pretty good. Also, don't use your friends court experiences as a guide....no two divorce settlements are alike. Best of luck. Tom
 
CudaChick1968 said:
Adam, I learned a couple things reading this thread. Contrary to what most women think, men really DO have feelings about things besides food, liquor and sex and aren't as afraid to share them as they'd have us believe. The other obvious thing -- and much more important -- is that you have dozens of friends here who are willing to help you through this tough time with outstanding advice, let you lean on them as needed, and who will be there for you at all times. Your FABO support network is always available, and I just wanna let you know that I'm one of them. :-D
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Leanna, its food, liquor,sex, and cars...sheeeesh...

Hang in there Adam, time will heal.
 
Oh dang, Sparky you're right!!! My bad. I should've thought that out better.

I was thinking of Jeff Foxworthy ... "I get home from work and I want something to eat, I want a beer, and I wanna see something NEKKID!"
 
CudaChick1968 said:
Oh dang, Sparky you're right!!! My bad. I should've thought that out better.

I was thinking of Jeff Foxworthy ... "I get home from work and I want something to eat, I want a beer, and I wanna see something NEKKID!"
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Ya, I wanna see something NEKKID in my Car!!! :cheers:
 
Some great advise already

My daughter was 2 when her mother told me she wanted a divorce. I thought things were going well and then this.

It was not pretty, she got physical custody, 60% of proceeds from the sale of the house, most all the stuff in the house and the 74 Duster.

I got my boat, 72 Challenger, 71 Cuda convertible and my truck, plus my clothes

I never talked bad about ex in front of Carlee

I put her to bed every night I had her ( one night had a date and left her with mom for the night and had to go back home and put her to bed before I could finsih the date)

Lawyer told me to give her the stuff, it was just stuff and I would get more and she would end up with nothing, that is true in my case

2 years later I got custody of my daughter

Spend as much time as you can with her. Whatever visitation you get make sure you are there every time, on time ( my ex had visitation once I got custody and was to come and get her and she would be so disappointed when she didn't show or call)

If you have the time off work and would like to spend more time with her call and ask if it is OK

When you don't want it makes it really bad. I hope you can be civil with the wife/ex. It is in the best interest of your child. If you can talk to her and agree on how things need to be handled with your daughter would be best, if not bite your tongue, agree with her if she (ex) is arguing with you (she will hate that)

my daughter is 26, I hardly ever see her now, she grew up and was well cared for and had the opportunity to succeed

her mother has lost her house, spent time in jail, guess my lawyer was right

hang in there,

OH bad advise, to get another one under you, stay away from the drinking and other women for a while

It took me many years to understand you can have women friends someone you spend time with but that is all.

I think a bitter divorce can make you a better person

or a bitter cruel SOB

it is your choice

Take care of your daughter she is #1

Take care of yourself, do as much to support your daughter as you can, not just court ordered. Be there for school events, special times for her

good luck
 
I'm going to have to agree with Ted on this one. I've read em all and there is some good advice then there is some advice. There are many details that we don't know and may never know on your situation but as Ted said, until you sign on the line all hope is not lost. You stated you were not in favor of this and thus makes me think you still would consider her an asset rather than a liability. Don't talk bad about her to anyone. She obviously may have some problems we may not understand and she may not understand and may not until it's regretted by her. PM me if you would care to share further details as i would invite any discussion in hopes of being a help in your time of need. Love ya both.
 
Thanks for all the support from every one. I haven't been on here in a while since she took the modem with her comp. ( it won't do her any good though lmao). I didn't even let that phase me though. I have been thinking about getting cable for a while and AT&T has the "U-verse" out I figured that was all I needed to make my mind up. So now I'm online (faster than befor) and I can watch more TV.
The hardest part has been no seeing my daughter ( don't get me wrong I do miss my wife too... just not the fighting). I can wait for the Holidays to be over. We still have alot of legal "issues" to resolve. As long as I can keep paying my lawyer he's more than happy to help me with that ( I only have thretened to go to the Bar on him once lol ).
I'll keep every one informed as this progresses. I've been staying busy trying to clean up all the damage her animals have done to the inside of the house and am trying to devote more of my time to reading my Bible (as well as the 3 Mopar mags I just subscribed to) and doing things that will better me and my daughter.
Thanks again for all that everyone has done for me.
 
I have never been married, but my parents split when I was 4, and my dad always bad talked my mom, put her down, told me how terrible she was, made fun of her with his friends, made her cry, etc etc etc, and now we don't talk and he is a very angry person. Whatever you do, don't bad talk your ex in front of or around your daughter. Tell your daughter how much you love her, and how you aren't angry at her mom. Spend lots of time with her, and do all you can with her. Hope this helps.
 
I have been thru this Uggglleeeeeee thing,place a picture of you lil' one every where so that you see it very often,I put one in every car I had to drive at the time,I remember seeing my lil' one's pic everytime something bad would happen......it carried me,helped me make wiser decisions,everytime something tries to get at you ...the pic's of your lil' one will shield you,help you do the right things and act the right way.it's hard to make plans for the future while this is going on so keep the goals small,each goal you reach will help you see that all is good,figure out what you are willing to give up and what you need to fight for,keep that picture in your minds eye with everything you do and all will work out,be as businesslike as possible as far as the ex goes and still be nice at the same time,just remember the apple of your eye is watching.....even if she is not......just remember the pic's everytime you speak and do when the pic's are absent the minds eye will be there.just focus and all will be better than before.hope this will be helpful to you as it was helpful to me,I get my lil' one quite often......very often,I got to pick the hill I would die on and won!!!!!you will do the right things! that picture you keep seeing will make sure of it!as a side note........my ex and I are like best friends now that the scum sucking lawyers and the other nobody's of power have faded out of the picture,it's all about being a parent and a partner no matter what is going on,show that and everyone will see!If ya need a ear to bend just holler,
 
I have never been through this and my wife has been stuck with me for 30 years, I like ramchargers point of view:cheers: if I ever make a change.
Stay busy and get up to par:naka: and you will feel good or better about everything, Your kids will love it and she will take another look at your point of view :drinkers: But I have been :drinkers: and know I am dreaming of a deferent babe in my bed room know :drunken:

Sorry to here you are going through a bad time so chin up and take care
and man up. And as said before drinking won't help matters any.:clock:
 
Been there, done that. Separated a little over three years ago and divorced about six months later. You don't get over this sort of thing, you get through it. Leave the door open to communication with her. There was something that attracted you two to each other at one point. This may be the time to clear out the garbage of the relationship and take a new look at things. Who knows?

That may mean not communicating for a while to allow the raw edges of things to heal a little. For me, some things have become more clear over time without my ex. In reflection, there are things I have done that I am not proud of and apologised for at the time. I have also come to see that we fell into a destructive pattern that not only killed the relationship but impaired my mental health. If this has happened to you, get help. You'll enjoy yourself a lot more if you're healthy physically, mentally, and spiritually.

Be there for your kids. Help them to understand that they are not responsible for what went on between you and your wife. DO NOT ARGUE WITH OR SHOUT AT YOUR WIFE UNLESS YOUR KIDS ARE OUT OF TOWN. (Extreme, but you get the point.) Do not let your ex compromise your visitation rights.

If you feel yourself getting tense or angry when speaking with your wife, say so. Excuse yourself until you can regain control and balance. You do not have to have the last word.

Re-evalutate who you are and what you're about, then be it. Take the high ground. Be calm but resolute in your direction. Don't be afraid to feel or express your feelings appropriately. Own your own problems and don't take on hers.

Though you can try to keep your kids from taking sides, I don't think the same things can be said about friends and social situations. A pastor friend of mine says in a divorce, "some one gets the friends and the church". Not all will take a cooler attitude towards you, but some will.

Don't trash the ex, not even to your friends. It will make you look smaller. It may also get back to her and you know her well enough to know how she'll respond to that.

If you have a relationship with a more mature Christian, he may be a good sounding board for you. I hope he would be able to help you resolve the things you're reading in your Bible with the things you may be feeling. This has been very helpful for me.

My A-body work has been a good constructive outlet for me, too. I spend time working on them or doing research for them when I would have spent the time with my wife in the past.

Life is a journey. If you believe that Jesus Christ paid the price for your sins, you know how it will end up. The issue now is dealing with this speed bump along the way. Best wishes.
 
but at the same time an encouragement to make your life better than my stupidity led me to. Pride is our biggest sin. We owe our children much better than our failures. Yes my wife was a -----. But then I was at fault even more for not making sure my daughter had my input in her life. Don't make my mistakes.
My ex had her boyfriends but it was my fault I didn't work through my hurt feelings to make sure my daughter didn't suffer because of my shortcomings.
 
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