Ghetto Test

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mtandrews

beware the Ides of March
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OK, here's the Black Man's Ghetto test! It's kinda long but what the hell. And the killer part is I'm black and all I got is a 52! LOL!!! May I also add that I know that "ghetto" and "black" usually goes hand in glove but you don't have to black to be ghetto! LOL! The ghettoist(word?) dude I know is a white guy from Cinncinatti!

If the statement is true add the points in parenthesis to your score.
Scoring is given at the bottom of the test.

1. You've ever used an album cover or old envelope for a dustpan. (5 points)
2. You've ever put foil on your TV antennas to get better reception. (8 points)
3. You've ever had to use pliers to turn your TV on. (7points)
4. You had to come in the house when the street lights came on. (6 points)
5. You had a candy lady in your neighborhood. (5 + 5 extra points if your house was the candy lady)
6. If you can count more than five police cars in your neighborhood on a daily basis. (3 points)
7. If you ever had to pick your own switch or belt. (3 points for each)
8. If you've ever been beaten with an extension cord. (15 points)
9. If you have ever had to walk to or home from school. (2 points)
10. If you've ever passed someone a note asking "Do you like me?" or "Can I have a chance?" check _yes, _no or _maybe. (7 points)
11. If you have ever used dish washing liquid for bubble bath. (9points)
12. If you have ever mixed up some Kool-Aid and the found that you didn't have any sugar. (4 points & add 4 if you put the pitcher in the refrigerator until you got some sugar)
13. If you have ever played any of the following games. (2 points each): (hide and go seek, freeze tag, captain or momma may I?, or red light..yellow light..green light 123!)
14. If your neighborhood had an ice cream man. (2 points + 2 if he rang a bell + 5 if he played R&B)
15. If you remember any of the following candies. (1 point each): cherry clans, lemon heads, Alexander the grape, ring pops, Chico sticks, baked beans, candy cigarettes, powder packs with the white dip stick, big league chew, "Wine" Candy (jolly ranchers), jaw breakers, and candy necklaces.
16. If you refer to Now and Laters candies as "Nighladers". (6 points)
17. If you've ever ran from the police on foot. (5 points + 5 if you got away)
18. If you remember underoos or the Wonder Woman bra and panty set. (6 points + 4 if you owned some)
19. If you've ever had reusable grease in a container on your stove. (5 points)
20. The batteries in your remote control are held in by a piece of tape. (5 points)
21. If you've ever used any of the following for drinking glasses. (3 points each): jelly jars, mayonnaise jars, mason jars, or peanut butter jars.
22. You've ever covered your furniture in plastic. (2 points)
23. The heels of your feet have ever looked like you had been kicking flour. (1point)
24. If you have ever worn any of the following fragrances. (1 point each): Brute, Hai Karate, Jean Nate, Old Spice, Chloe, English Leather, Stetson, Charlie, or Faberge'.
25. You've ever used Tussy. (9 points)
26. You've never been to the dentist. (10 points + 10 if you've never been to the doctor.)
27. You've ever wore clothes with the tag still on them. (4 points)
28. If you're acquainted with someone with a name as follows. (3 points): Pookie, Kay-Dee, Lee-Lee, Ree-Ree, Ray-Ray, etc.
29. You have ever paged yourself for any reason. (3 points)
30. You've ever worn house shoes outside of the house. (2 points)
31. You add "ED" or "T" to the end of words already in the past tense (for example, Tooked, Light-Skinneded, kilt, ruint, etc). (3 points)
32. You pronounce words like this (1 point for each example you can think of skrimps or strimps, skreet, axe (ask), member (remember), frigerator, etc.
33. You use nem' to describe a certain group of people (for example Craig and nem' or momma and nem'). (6 points)
34. You've ever had a crack across your windshield and never bothered to get it fixed. (3 points)
35. You've ever driven on a donut more than 2 weeks after your flat. (4 points)
36. You've ever asked a perfect stranger to take a picture with you and told your friends it was someone you dated. (3 points)
37. Your child drops his/her pacifier and you sanitize it by sucking it. (7 points)
38. If you've ever ran a race barefoot in the middle of the street at approximately 11 at night. (10 points)
39. You've ever left a social gathering with a plate. (1 point)
40. You leave a restaurant with silverware, sugar, and/or jelly. (8 points)
41. You think "red" is a flavor of Kool-Aid. (4 points)
42. You can't hold a glass because of the length of your nails. (3 points)
43. The gold teeth in your mouth spell words. (8 points)
44. You don't have your own place but your child has a leather coat and a pair of Jordan's. (5 points)
45. If you've ever had to get to the driver's side of the car through the passenger side door. (8 points)
46. You have ever slept in a chair to avoid messing up your hair. (7 points)
47. You constantly hit *69 and ask, "Did you just call here?" (10 points)
48. You won't answer the phone if you don't recognize the number on the caller id box. (7 points)
49. You know a child who can't speak, but can do the "bank-head bounce." (15 points)
50. You think Tupac and Biggie Smalls is still alive. (20 points)

Scoring
0 - 30 - You have enjoyed a nice sheltered life in the suburbs.
31 - 60 - Hood movies have given you a little exposure.
61 - 100 - You may have visited the hood a few times or on weekends.
101 - 130 - You probably spent a few years in the hood, and moved to the suburbs.
131 - 160 - You're the genuine article. You are no stranger to hood life.
161 - 200 - You are definitely, without a doubt an expert on life in the hood.
201+ - Congratulations! You are Ghetto Fabulous!
 
Age may be a factor?

Just sayn...I'm 50, lots of those points I got was due to my living in the 60's.

LCjeff

x2...and also on the 'Left Coast'. I scored a 43 due mainly just to growing up in the '60s with parents that were raised during the Depression.
 
You know what's REALLY funny?! Most of those indicators can be applied to us Southern Rednecks, too!

thats what im thinkin. I member a bunch ot them. I scored a 126. My friends and nem would score high too.
 
Damn, my score was off the chart, I lost track about half way through the test, I must be a ghetto-redneck..
 
it's all gravy baby! as far as I'm concerned we are cut from the same cloth/flannel blanket:happy10:!!!

I think I was cut from a burlap sack ;)

I'm 43, I still remember as a kid having to use an out house, the kitchen sink was our only plumbing and no hot water heater until I was atleast 9....
 
I vote for the age thing. Or something. I'm a pretty nerdy white guy, and by question 15 I already have 50 points. I don't understand the "ghetto-ness" of it all. I think a lot of at least the first questions are fairly normal for someone that was a kid in the 70s.
 
andrews. Rest asured, we dont give a rip on what color one is here. Color or race is not an issue here and never will be. Fun test....i guess. Mopars is the equal in all races and color.
Small Block
 
I hit a 122 and Im about as redneck as they come ,grew up in Orange County, Ca. but have worked in the LB and East Los Angeles for the past 20 years so that might be why I scored so high.

Bob
 
andrews. Rest asured, we dont give a rip on what color one is here. Color or race is not an issue here and never will be. Fun test....i guess. Mopars is the equal in all races and color.
Small Block

This test cuts across all lines, equal opportunities, like Mopar!

I hit a 122 and Im about as redneck as they come ,grew up in Orange County, Ca. but have worked in the LB and East Los Angeles for the past 20 years so that might be why I scored so high.

Bob

Left coast redneck, I'm with you.

Only a 51 ... I suddenly feel I grew up so sheltered.

Your not alone.

106, But then I was born a poor chicano man.

Having seen "poor, really poor" first hand, I'll pass, thanks. no offense intended, I've seen the pallet and tar paper houses south of the boarder, that's poor, wish I could help them all.

LCjeff
 
andrews. Rest asured, we dont give a rip on what color one is here. Color or race is not an issue here and never will be. Fun test....i guess. Mopars is the equal in all races and color.
Small Block
when I said "there ya go!!!" I meant it in an exuberant way, not derrogatory. It's hard to display the emotion of my statements via keyboard so I'm sorry if anyone thought I meant anything contrary to what I meant. I should have added one of these! :cheers: I've never for one second ever ever thought that color matters here or pretty much anywhere else.
 
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