Has this happened to anyone else?

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Randy WM

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I went to back to work yesterday after the New Year holiday and in our group meeting we were informed that one of our co-workers had taken his own life. He had just transferred to our location from another city and had just made his probation period a few weeks ago. I work swings and he worked graves, so I didn't get to talk to him that much.

From what few conversations we did have, he gave no indication at all that there was something wrong. I don't remember seeing or hearing anything that would have raised any red flags. His attitude was great. He was happy to be working for this company. The people who worked with him on graves said they didn't notice anything that would tipped them off that something wasn't right. Being in ministry, I intentionally try to be alert to clues that might tell me that someone needs help, but with this person, there was nothing.

Have any of you been in this situation where a friend, family member or co-worker did something like this with no warning?
 
No one knew I had attempted suicide until well after the fact. Depends on what is going on in ones life. If someone is bi-polar, depending on what there manic state is like they could always be a half step from the fight or flight zone. Couple the 2 together and you have the making for a disaster that pretty much no one will see coming....
 
Randy, I worked a year with a guy who committed suicide.

There were no indications, no warning signs. He left a note simply saying, "I'm sorry." There was some speculation as to why, but that's all it was: speculation.
 
As others are saying I think someone that is going to do this there are no signs as they keep it to themselves. Someone that says they are going to do it is just asking for help or attention and not actually going to do it. I had a great uncle do this back in the late 70`s divorced and money troubles finally took their toll. His parents found him after a call to them because he had not shown up for work which was unusual for him.
 
In Washington, DC there are many attempted suicides daily. You never know what a man's breaking point will be and often it is not uncommon to mask to everyone else that everything is alright. Thus, you never really know.

Look at the times we are living in: high divorce rates, failing marriages, people losing their livelihoods, houses etc. I have been miserable since my divorce 3 years ago. Let's be honest, people really dont care if things are ok or not. So many lie and say things are well. In reality, they are hurting deply inside. It's a cruel world.
 
Years ago I worked with a guy for several years and everything seemed great with him, his wife and daughter. He left the company and I heard a short time later that his took his own life after beating up his wife. You just never know.
 
a number of years ago, a young man that worked at the local pet store took his own life. I went to the funeral during our youth groups "30 hour famine". (that is a fund raiser for World Vision to help kids in 3rd world countries that are dying of starvation and/or food related diseases). I was able to go back and share with the kids that this young man dies of starvation... not food but something emotional and that we never know who around us is hurting real bad. My message to them was to look around the room and try to be a friend and be available to talk to everyone... not to leave anyone out.
 
"this young man died of starvation... not food but something emotional"
this statement is very profound. You know someone right now that is fighting this on a daily basis....
 
I recall 2. I worked with a guy named Nile, who uprooted from across the state, back in the early 90`s recession. I liked Nile, been to his place to visit once. We both viewed our forman and his asskissin suckup from Texas who just uprooted recently too with contempt.
I came in to work and Clyde/tex, was just smiling at me and I was wondering WTH he`s so happy about? Then he told me about Nile. Never seen it coming. Although our jobs royaly sucked, I`ll never know the reason.
With a different company in late 90`s worked with a guy, did`nt really get to know him, was told he commited suicide over a girl, guess he showed her:roll:
 
My best friend in high school committed suicide the summer after senior year. Hung himself in his mom's garage. He had family problems & some problems socially but he gave no indication he was even thinking of something like that. He called my house the night he did it & I told my sister to tell him I wasn't home because I was with my girl & didn't want to be bothered.

It's 21 years later & I still regret not getting to the phone that night. I used to "see" him in public for years after his death. Mental illness is a serious issue & unfortunately it goes undiagnosed, even by those suffering from it far too often.
 
Yes my nephew and my cousins oldest son both were in there 20s.

My nephew there was no signs he was having problems. He didn't talk to anyone about them.

My cousin's son suffered from sever depression which he was being treated.
Whether he didn't take his meds I don't know.

You always wish you could have done something to help them.
 
I just received a phone call yesterday informing me of a local guy that I knew that committed suicide on Christmas day. He was 29 years old, owned a local diesel performance shop, and did some welding and fab work as well. Speculation is it was over a girl. The truth, nobody but him knows.
 
I worked for a guy years ago at ma bell. He always seemed happy and let stuff just roll off like life was good. His wife left him and went to the Keys with her boy friend. So he drove down to talk to her to try to reconcile for the kids. She blew him off so as he was driving back he pulled over and killed him self with a 357 magnum. His wife and boyfriend saw his car on the side of road on the drive home and found the body. The crew I worked in never saw it coming seemed to have the world by the tail. Very sad and upsetting, you never know just could not handle it.
 
Friends landlord killed himself a few years ago. My buddy had lunch with him a few hours before he blew his brains out. Doug told me there was absolutely no hint of what was coming.
I have been fighting several mental ailments for over 30 years. I am disabled because of them. Everybody that meets me casually always says they don't see anything wrong with me, but ad just a pinch of stress and I become the proverbial Jeckyl & Hyde. Live with this crap long enough and you get damn good at hiding it. Have to, otherwise your life will be a constant uphill battle.
I look back at that day when I pulled the trigger and it did not discharge and laugh. Have no choice. But I would be lying if I said that the thought of suicide was not present damn near every day. But I have realized that I have far to much to live for.....I would never want to put my loving wife thru the mess that would follow.
 
Knew a dude that stood up in the middle of a firefight so he could go home. Does that count? You never really know what's going on inside someone else's head. All you can really do is thank God for watching over you and keeping you safe.
 
In a world where many folk have become more isolated, because of the ease of texting or email instead of phoning or "dropping by" I guess it's inevitable that there are a certain number of suicides. We just have to try to be more vigilant with the people we know.

What really really disturbs me is the returning vets who are having trouble "dealing." The statistics of military suicides speak for themselves, and there should be outrage over this.

I know a bit about depression, myself. I can see easily how someone with some troubles might talk themselves into a trap, especially with no outside help.
 
67Dart273 said:
someone with some troubles might talk themselves into a trap, especially with no outside help.
Click to expand...
This is something that a lot of folks have no concept of. Depending on ones mindset the downward spiral is very easy to get started and damn near impossible to stop. This post reminded of my friend Rod. He was a Postal employee. When he was young he was a body builder that was juiced up. He developed a severe back problem. Got wheeled out of the PO a few times a month. When the PO announced the National Reassessment Program was on it's way he applied for disability. Was out of work for a couple of years. One day he swallowed the bottle of OXY. We used to stand around his work area and talk, more times than not the topic was ending it. Pain is an evil thing, it can make a person do some very strange things.
 
Just thought of someone else.....my buddy Dave. I had a key to his place. Walked in one day and there he was on the sofa. I managed to grab it from him on the way to the way thru. I grabbed the phone and slammed the bathroom door. A few months later I talked him out of it again. About a year later I went to see him, seen him on the sofa with it in his mouth. Turned around, was walking down the steps from his apartment and heard the boom. I spent some time talking to his folks at the wake. They told me that Dave had spent many days in the hospital, from various different attempts. Felt miserable about it for years.
 
Lost 2 guys at work about a year ago, a few weeks apart. First guy was kind of high strung, and hung himself after a fight with his girlfriend, second one was a real shock. He was divorced, but always seemed upbeat, and always talked about his kids. Both times rather than have a quick meeting, my employer just let it spread around the rumor mill. The second really freaked me out, cause when I got to work(alway get there 1/2 to 45 minutes early), something just didn't seem right, it was something I just couldn't put my finger on, it was like it was to quiet. Then I punched in and heard people asking if they heard about Dan, I didn't give it a thought, maybe he had a car accident or something. There are still days where I expect him to walk by as I am having my morning smoke outside the door.
 
inkjunkie said:
Pain is an evil thing, it can make a person do some very strange things.
Click to expand...

Yes, it is. And not just physical pain. I would be lying if I said after Sarah passed away that I didn't think more than once about chewing on the end of the gun.

I would be lying if I said that more than once after losing Katie, Sarah and I didn't both have those thoughts.

There's some dark places in life. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves of those dark places so we can either avoid them or be prepared to walk through them. Some folks walk into those dark places and don't come out.

I recognized when I had those thoughts. To me it was like the check engine light coming on on the dash. It was a sign I needed help. I opened up to my sister more, I opened up to my best friend more. I opened up to my pastor. All three -as well as the rest of my family and friends - have been there to listen to me, to work through some of the emotions and pain that I'm feeling, those bursts of thought that Sarah is still here, that I see something and need to tell her about it or show her.

The idea - for me, from personal experience - is when I start walking close to the those dark spots is to tell someone about them, to work through them, and to avoid anything that could aid me in just stopping in the middle.

I didn't go hunting this year. The sadness, the depression, could hit me at any moment. The last thing I needed to do was sit out in the woods, alone, with a loaded rifle in my hands.
 
there was a guy who worked at the Dodge dealership in Hanna (small town about an hour or so from here)- I was also distantly related to him through marriage (his brother is married to my stepfather's granddaughter). I know his other brother fairly well also.
He was accused of embezzling from the dealership (selling parts and pocketing the money I think). Told relatives not to worry- it would get cleared up.
Went home and killed himself. Pretty shocking (and, sorry to say it, but I don't really have a lot of sympathy for someone who does something like that, where it's not related to a mental illness/depression. etc.).
 
I worked with a guy named Jim at the same company for over 30 years. We worked side by side for over 15 years. We always took the time to visit about our kids and grandkids. I knew he had problems with alcohol but it didn't appear to be a big one. Jim and I shared lots of common interest in our off the job free time. One Friday he showed up back at my shop at worked and we talked for quite a length of time. Little did I know that would be our last conversation. He didn't come into work for several days and I was told it was because of his back trouble. The following Monday he shot himself out in the yard while his wife was at work. He had apperently been planning this for a long time. I still miss his help and friendship. I wish he would he convided in me.
 
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