How to get rid of Telemarketers and debt collectors

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Had a black & tan coonhound, Fred. Fred had a thing about the phone, put it any where near him and he would go off on a howling/barking/growling fit. He had more than one conversation with a telemarketer over the years....
 
That's a good one, but here is one for you; When the religious groups start coming to your area passing out their pamphlets, here is a sure fire way to keep them from knocking on your door. Put the outline of a body on your porch with chalk, then pitch a few religious pamphlets around, with a sign that says POLICE CRIME SCENE DO NOT CROSS. You will be good for about a year, but will probably have to do it again. LOL
 
Demonracer said:
That's a good one, but here is one for you; When the religious groups start coming to your area passing out their pamphlets, here is a sure fire way to keep them from knocking on your door. Put the outline of a body on your porch with chalk, then pitch a few religious pamphlets around, with a sign that says POLICE CRIME SCENE DO NOT CROSS. You will be good for about a year, but will probably have to do it again. LOL
Click to expand...
I just bought one of those big rubber snakes and I put it by the front door. Seems to work too. MMG:D
 
I had a bill collector calling for my Wife.One day I told them she died in a car accident yesterday....They did not call back until 3 months later.I guess the finally figured it out.
 
I heard that some time ago. It is so hilarious, it's just unbelievable.

I used to screw with marketers back when "we" had landline phones

One night with my roomate, one of the endless religious nuts (Swaggart, etc) was on, so I called 'em up.

"Yeah, ya know, I've donated LOTS of money to you good folks, but now I'm having a pretty severe problem myself, I wonder, could you send some of that money back to me?"

The sidstepping, the excuses, the backpeddling is JUST incredible. Of course they "would pray for me."


In two calls, some I ask some woman "are you good lookin?" AMAZINGLY she says YES. So, "are you single?" YES

So I said, "why don't you give me a b*** job?"

"THAT'S DISGUSTING!!!!" she says

"Ya know," says I, "I think it's pretty damn dis gusting that you call me up when I don't wanna be bothered." (hangs up.)

One guy called about insurance

ME: "Oh, ya know, my wife would REALLY like to talk to you, she's been looking into this, but she's tied up right now, can you hold on?"

I push this out 2-3 minutes

"You still there? She's coming, be here in just a minute."

push er out ANOTHER 3 minutes, etc

"You still there? Listen, I don't know what in HELL I was thinking. I'M NOT MARRIED, I DON'T HAVE a wife, bye." (hangs up)
 
Back about 1995, I kept getting a call from some photography place. Kept telling them I wasn't interested and hanging up. After a week of their daily calls, I decided to try a new approach:

Lady: I'm calling from bla blah blah portrait studios. For a limited time we are offering blah blah blah........
Me: I'm not interested.....
Lady: But sir!! You hafta realize what a great deal this is! For three hundred and blah blah blah.......
Me: Not interested.....
Lady: .....and you get three poses. You get 2 8X10s, 5 5X7s.....
Me: Did you say I get THREE poses?
Lady: Yes! That's right! You get three poses, you get 2 8X10s, you.....
Me: Could I be naked for any or all of them?

long pause

Lady: You would need to take that up with the photographer, but I believe it could be arranged. How will you be paying.......
Me: I know exactly what I want. For the first, it would just be your average full frontal nude. For the second, more of the same except I want to be wearing the feathered headdress of an indian cheif.

long silence. background noise, so I know she's still there.

Me: and for the third, I'd like to be standing, wearing the feathered headdress, with a telemarketing woman on her knees in front of me, preparing for her ceremonial face painting.

CLICK!

I still don't know why she hung up, or why she hasn't called back!
 
LMAO! I use to get calls from credit card and loan companys...you know..."congrats...your pre-approved".
I'd be like, no ****...really?....I can use the money for anything?..how soon can I get it? any sooner...? cause I gotta pay pff my drug dealers man....their gonna be breakin my legs.....
 
We had a telemarketer call the other night just as we sat down to dinner (isn't that when they all call?) and I just wasn't in the mood for the call. He introduced himself by name and company name and I hit him right back with, "You know, we're registered on the 'Do Not Call List' and now that I have your name and company you're going to be basis of my complaint call to them!" Heard nothing for a few seconds, then only stuttering and stammering before I hung up the phone.
Other times I ask them, "Can you hold for just a second?". Then I just set the phone down. I finally hang up when I start hearing the sounds of a disconnected call from the phone.
 
Demonracer said:
That's a good one, but here is one for you; When the religious groups start coming to your area passing out their pamphlets, here is a sure fire way to keep them from knocking on your door. Put the outline of a body on your porch with chalk, then pitch a few religious pamphlets around, with a sign that says POLICE CRIME SCENE DO NOT CROSS.
Click to expand...

I got a better one than that, and it doesn't require any chalk or crime scene tape or advance preparation. When a pair of teenaged Mormon "elders" comes knocking, I let them talk for a few moments. Then I interrupt them and in an earnest, knowing tone of voice I say "Boys…your secret shame is written all over your faces." They turn white, then they turn red, then they hustle away.
 
Or for telemarketers: let them start in on their spiel, pretend to get drawn into the conversation ("Oh, uh-huh!", "Yeah?", "I see...", etc.) then suddenly go "JESUS! Gotta go, the dog's on fire again!" and hang up.
 
A number of years ago had a local greenhouse company constantly faxing us promos. At least once a week in the spring. I called numerous times to get off the list, but they kept coming. One morning, after receiving one with their new "spring special" I lost it, and called Yan the owner. After politely explaining how it was improper to spam my fax machine he basically told me to f.off. Well lo and behold, that afternoon on our local talk radio station, guess who is the guest? And guess who called? I get on the line, and start sweet talking his business, then mention that the "spring sale" they are running sounds really good. He asks me how I know about it already. I say "Because like a whole lot of other businesses it's impossible to "NOT" know since you spam our fax machine weekly!

Another back in the day when I had the old PC external data/fax/modem. After repeated calls from some company, I finally got a fax# to send in my ID to claim my free trip. Using Coreldraw graphic software I created a 50+ page fax, with each page being black with one big white letter on it. Something to the effect of "I dont want to ever receive your faxes again" saying. Tried faxing, of course line was busy. Set it to redial, and sure enough, next morning get the confirmation that the whole thing went through.. took over an hour. After two weeks of successful nightime connections, I never got through again.. of course, I never got called again either :)

Grant
 
I had one insurance company calling repeatedly saying that they were responding to my online request for insurance. I never went online and couldn't get them to stop....4-8 times a day, every day of the week. I finally blocked their number with Verizon. Even the Do Not Call Registry doesn't work.

I also like the companies that call offering loans. I tell them I lost my job, had to declare bankruptcy and don't plan on paying them, so free money is always appreciated. They normally stop calling pretty quickly.
 
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