I need help in the worst way!

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Wow I don't have any advice to offer Doogie . The 1 person I have seen pass was my Dad. You can send me a pm anytime. Prayers sent for u and everyone affected
 
I am sorry for your loss, and for your friends loss of life. I'm sure he deserved a longer life. I have no good advice, except counseling, Christian or other professionals. you are in our prayers.
 
He was supposed to help me finish assembling my motor tonight. I want to try and get it done but I can't keep it together for more than half a hour at a time.
 
My senior year in high school we had a fellow band geek fall. Brain tumor. As usual oe of the nicest most undeserving of the befallen fate you could ever know. She was 16.

I'll tell you the same thing I said to my band.

I'm not religous at all but I believe some people are just too good to live on this hellful earth and it seems as though they get taken from us early so they can go to a place theyve earned the right to be in.
 
Never a friend, by mom died when I was young, too soon man, hope you find peace soon. We are fragile.
 
Did you make it to church and talk to the pastor and your church brothers and sisters? I hope so!!!

All I can say is, think of the good times you shared!! Prayers to all!
 
I did. To be honest it helped with the mourning and death but that isn't what I am struggling with. I have delt with 4 deaths of friends since graduating in 2009. I have a process for that. The things that are bothering me is what I had to see with my eyes. I was the first one to him. I had dinner with some friends with PTSD and that helped more then the church.
 
Prayers going out to you, losing a good friend is a hard blow.

Something that actually helped me after I witnessed the death of a close friend, whenever I started to relive the scene in my head, I would say aloud "No."

Also I kept reminding myself that my friend would be adamant that his death not bring me too much sorrow or hold me back in life.
 
Try to remember the things about him you enjoyed, his sense of humor or a great time you had with him. The sum of his friendship with you should not be his last few minutes, Remember the good times and as Goldfish said ignore the bad memories. It will take time, God bless!
 
So sorry to read this. I lost friends from accidents back when I was in high school. Fortunately I didn't have to witness the incidents.

Prayers going out to you Doogie, and for your friend and his family! I can only imagine what you went thru, but time will heal.....hey, it has to. That's the only way those of us that have lost loved one's get by every day and go on with our own lives.
 
doogievlg said:
I did. To be honest it helped with the mourning and death but that isn't what I am struggling with. I have delt with 4 deaths of friends since graduating in 2009. I have a process for that. The things that are bothering me is what I had to see with my eyes. I was the first one to him. I had dinner with some friends with PTSD and that helped more then the church.
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PTSD is an angry thing. You don't have to be a veteran to get it, just human.
I can only imagine what you witnessed. I've seen a lot of the ugliness that the human being can do to one another, and I've seen accidents also.
There is not a single thing that any one person can say or do that will make the pain go away. I'm sorry, there just isn't a fast cure. You're going to have to go thru the grieving process in your own way. That's going to take time.
Please, just don't turn to drugs or alcohol to numb the pain or to turn off. Nothing positive ever comes from that route.
 
gunbunny said:
PTSD is an angry thing. You don't have to be a veteran to get it, just human.
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Exactly. There are times I want to watch the world burn. There are times that the wrong thing said, the wrong thing done will set me over the edge and I want to light the match and make it burn.

The dreams. Waking up in the middle of the night crying because you see your loved one right in front of you, so close and so real that you can reach out and touch him or her and then you realize it was all just a dream and it makes the heartbreak even worse because you were convinced that it was real.

Seeing the event over and over in your mind, sometimes replaying for hours at a time. Thinking of things that could have been done differently, but knowing that nothing can be changed. Trying to draw your mind out that place by finding something - anything - to occupy your mind.

Seeing something for the first time and knowing that your loved one would love to see it or hear you tell him or her about then the sudden realization that you can't pops into your head and the reality of the situation hits.

Looking at the things that you promised to do together and realizing that's over now. You're forced to do those things alone and alone it reminds you of what could have been.

Those deep, dark places in your mind that you have to push yourself through, because if you stop in the middle of them, you'll never come out the other side.

Getting angry with your loved one because he or she didn't do "this." Getting angry with yourself because you didn't do "that."

People who are well meaning or who have good intentions will tell you to go on and get over. Those people are clueless and you have to forgive them for their cluelessness. They speak out of ignorance of never having to witness and live with such as you have. The rational mind can say that, but emotions, especially the grieving process and all the emotions which come with it, knows no rationality as it will - and can - come and go as it pleases.

Support. Find someone who supports you, let's you cry, let's you rant, let's you vent, let's you talk, and listens. Someone who doesn't tell you what to do as the grieving process is different for everyone. There's just a commonality that brings us together.
 
Thanks. I managed to get a few hours of sleep. Going to try and get into work now. I actually feel like a might want to eat today as well.
 
Thoughts and prayers from my household to yours and the unfortunate young man's.
You will all get through this, it just takes time.
 
ramenth pretty much nailed it.
It's going to suck, you're going to relive it, and think about it. But after awhile it haunts you less and less.
You do get to control this demon, but not until it wrecks havoc on you.

I may have passed the accident scene Saturday night. I didn't realize what was going on, just that the police had the road blocked and there was an accident. I was told today that there was a motorcycle death there. I am terribly sorry.
 
It was over off clough. He turned right off clough onto ivy pointe which is the road tql is on. They have a memorial set up where it happened.

I went into work today and I'm not sure if it helped or not. Most of the day I felt like a complete zombie and I still do. It's like there is a switch and when it gets flipped I start to loose control. Right now and since this morning though I have felt numb. I just have to keep busy.
 
gunbunny said:
ramenth pretty much nailed it.
It's going to suck, you're going to relive it, and think about it. But after awhile it haunts you less and less.
You do get to control this demon, but not until it wrecks havoc on you.

I may have passed the accident scene Saturday night. I didn't realize what was going on, just that the police had the road blocked and there was an accident. I was told today that there was a motorcycle death there. I am terribly sorry.
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I tried to block everyone from being able to see him so I hope all you saw was my mustang.
 
In times such as these it is hard to to focus on things other than the mental images of what happened at the end. Celebrate the good times and the good deeds of your friend rather than the tragic end. It sounds like there was little or no suffering. That in itself is a blessing.
 
Man I'm sorry for your loss and for the situation you now find yourself in. Unfortunately you are going to have to work through this. Fortunately we are now more aware of PTSD and methods to minimize its impact on us and treat it. This does not have to become a life scar.

Short term NOW - Either find a tetris game on your phone or play on the computer. I know it sounds weird but it will help. I've provided supporting documentation and source below, but in short it will help with flashbacks.

Going forward: You may want to seek out an EMDR therapist for some counseling. They are particularly trained in handling many types of trauma. This is the therapist that will be most skilled in helping you process this. It's quite ordinary for someone who's experienced something like this to go see a counselor. This will help minimize the life long impact of an experience like this. This counselor will also be able to help you process the grief that is a natural part of this process. The sooner you go the less likely you are to develop PTSD symptoms.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tetris_effect
Another 2009 Oxford study suggests that playing Tetris-like video games may help prevent the development of traumatic memories. If the video game treatment is played soon after the traumatic event, the preoccupation with Tetris shapes is enough to prevent the mental recitation of traumatic images, thereby decreasing the accuracy, intensity, and frequency of traumatic reminders. "We suggest it specifically interferes with the way sensory memories are laid down in the period after trauma and thus reduces the number of flashbacks that are experienced afterwards

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eye_movement_desensitization_and_reprocessing
Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) is a psychotherapy developed by Francine Shapiro that emphasizes disturbing memories as the cause of psychopathology [1][2] and alleviates the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). EMDR is used for individuals who have experienced severe trauma that remains unresolved.[3] According to Shapiro, when a traumatic or distressing experience occurs, it may overwhelm normal cognitive and neurological coping mechanisms. The memory and associated stimuli are inadequately processed and stored in an isolated memory network.[1] The goal of EMDR therapy is to process these distressing memories, reducing their lingering effects and allowing clients to develop more adaptive coping mechanisms. This is done in an eight-step protocol that includes having clients recall distressing images while receiving one of several types of bilateral sensory input, including side to side eye movements.[4] The use of EMDR was originally developed to treat adults suffering from PTSD; however, it is also used to treat other conditions and children
 
I'm doing much better now. I remember him telling me that when he died he wants to be on his bike. It was quick and painless. There are so many worse ways it could have happened. He was a dare devil and it was a beautiful day. He saw a wide open road and went for it. He was having a absolute blast. It's very unfortunate that I had to see what I did but that's my demon. He is gone but I can honestly say that I genuinely feel happy because it was what he loved doing and no one else was involved.

I'm sure a few of you have friends who died doing stupid things they enjoyed and hopefully you understand that there are worse ways that their lives could have ended.
 
I have been thru this and I have bad news for you, what you saw will be with you for a long time and you probably won't get thru it without help. Seek professional help that specializes in what happened to you. Just a side note, try to imagine him looking down at you from where ever he is, smiling, apologizing for what you saw and saying that if you can let it go and move on with your life, he will fell much better and thank you for being his friend.
 
I plan on it. I have been reaching out to other people who witnessed their friends death on a motorcycle and that's been helping. I also have some friends who have PTSD from their time in the service that I have been talking too. It helps a lot to talk to the right person but unfortunately I can't get help from my family members that want to help the most. I feel guilty not talking to my parents about it but neither of them have been through anything like this. The major thing that is bothering me right now is my loss of sleep. Just not being able to close my eyes. But as I said before, I'm not hurt over him not being with us anymore. He was having a very tough time in his life and I know he was not thinking about the bad things when he was on his bike. He was enjoying the last few minutes he had.

My struggle with the things I saw will not be easy but I feel no anger toward him or god anymore.
 
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