As some of you may already know, Billy's mom moved in with us a month ago today following the unexpected death of her husband.
Outwardly she doesn't seem depressed or even in mourning; she's only cried a few times in the last month that I know of. Basically her behavior is so strange sometimes that I've had to wonder if she's just still out of it or is instead showing signs of Alzheimer's. I've never spent a lot of time around older people or those who've lost longtime loved ones and just don't know what to expect or how to deal with it. She stayed with us for three weeks in August after her husband fell down and broke his hip and she never acted like this then.
She falls asleep on the couch at all hours of the day, usually starting around mid-afternoon. By 7 or 8 at night, she's about ready for bed! I've always been a night owl myself, staying up late getting things done and/or working in the shop, and I rarely go to bed before midnight -- it's usually closer to 1 or 2 a.m. Just a couple examples of what we've been dealing with the last few weeks ...........
Sunday morning at 6:55 the medical alarm (you know the commercials -- the "Help, I've fallen and I can't get up!" thing) shrieks us awake with its eardrum piercing siren and computerized voice screaming "EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY!" Billy launches out of bed, hits the silencer button on the machine, walks a few feet down the hall and finds his mother standing in the doorway to our office (which is in the process of becoming her bedroom). She said "There's a man in my room wearing overalls and he won't talk to me." Of course, there was no one in her room.
This morning at 4:03 she's outside our bedroom door whispering "Billy! Billy! Billy!" I told her 'I'm awake Vert -- what do you need?' "Billy needs to help me. I can't wake my daddy up."
She's 83 years old. Her daddy's been dead for a very long time.
And I've been awake since 4:03 this morning. It wasn't much of a night after going to bed at 12:45, I can tell ya that much. I'm lucky if I get even a few hours' sleep -- she's up pretty early every day anyway it seems and crashes around the house until she wakes us both up. In the last month I think I've slept 7 hours at a stretch twice. This is almost worse than having a newborn baby in the house.
We've been trying to keep her awake longer in the evenings (so we can get some rest) by postponing supper and trying to come up with things to keep her entertained other than Encore Westerns and The Game Show Network ... but I think those two channels are the only ones that work on my tv anymore. I tried cleaning the house on Saturday with my usual Classic Rock station on the Music Channel which keeps me motivated and makes it go faster ... that lasted about 40 seconds before she snatched the remote and turned it back to westerns.
I'm trying REALLY hard to be accommodating, understanding and patient but with only a couple hours of sleep every night it's honestly wearing on me hard. I'm testy, can't seem to concentrate on ANYthing, can't get any work done, and have been so uncharacteristically bitchy it doesn't even feel like me anymore. I'm avoiding phone calls even from my own daughter because I'm petrified I'll go off on somebody who doesn't deserve it. I can't take much more of this ... it's only been a month, and there's no end in sight. She's here for the duration now. Business is suffering, Billy is suffering -- he doesn't want to put her in a nursing home, and I don't either (she's normally a great lady who's fun to be around) and I'm suffering too. Vert just sits there on the couch with her westerns and her Bible, and seems oblivious that we're hurting or concerned about her. When he asks about her weird early morning behavior she just says she must have been dreaming. [And sleep walking too apparently???]
I hope by this thread I can get some feedback from others who've been in a similar situation. I appreciate all the prayers over the last few weeks folks but if there's one for a couple days of SOLID SLEEP I'll take all of those I can get. This is gonna kill me.
Outwardly she doesn't seem depressed or even in mourning; she's only cried a few times in the last month that I know of. Basically her behavior is so strange sometimes that I've had to wonder if she's just still out of it or is instead showing signs of Alzheimer's. I've never spent a lot of time around older people or those who've lost longtime loved ones and just don't know what to expect or how to deal with it. She stayed with us for three weeks in August after her husband fell down and broke his hip and she never acted like this then.
She falls asleep on the couch at all hours of the day, usually starting around mid-afternoon. By 7 or 8 at night, she's about ready for bed! I've always been a night owl myself, staying up late getting things done and/or working in the shop, and I rarely go to bed before midnight -- it's usually closer to 1 or 2 a.m. Just a couple examples of what we've been dealing with the last few weeks ...........
Sunday morning at 6:55 the medical alarm (you know the commercials -- the "Help, I've fallen and I can't get up!" thing) shrieks us awake with its eardrum piercing siren and computerized voice screaming "EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY!" Billy launches out of bed, hits the silencer button on the machine, walks a few feet down the hall and finds his mother standing in the doorway to our office (which is in the process of becoming her bedroom). She said "There's a man in my room wearing overalls and he won't talk to me." Of course, there was no one in her room.
This morning at 4:03 she's outside our bedroom door whispering "Billy! Billy! Billy!" I told her 'I'm awake Vert -- what do you need?' "Billy needs to help me. I can't wake my daddy up."
She's 83 years old. Her daddy's been dead for a very long time.
And I've been awake since 4:03 this morning. It wasn't much of a night after going to bed at 12:45, I can tell ya that much. I'm lucky if I get even a few hours' sleep -- she's up pretty early every day anyway it seems and crashes around the house until she wakes us both up. In the last month I think I've slept 7 hours at a stretch twice. This is almost worse than having a newborn baby in the house.
We've been trying to keep her awake longer in the evenings (so we can get some rest) by postponing supper and trying to come up with things to keep her entertained other than Encore Westerns and The Game Show Network ... but I think those two channels are the only ones that work on my tv anymore. I tried cleaning the house on Saturday with my usual Classic Rock station on the Music Channel which keeps me motivated and makes it go faster ... that lasted about 40 seconds before she snatched the remote and turned it back to westerns.
I'm trying REALLY hard to be accommodating, understanding and patient but with only a couple hours of sleep every night it's honestly wearing on me hard. I'm testy, can't seem to concentrate on ANYthing, can't get any work done, and have been so uncharacteristically bitchy it doesn't even feel like me anymore. I'm avoiding phone calls even from my own daughter because I'm petrified I'll go off on somebody who doesn't deserve it. I can't take much more of this ... it's only been a month, and there's no end in sight. She's here for the duration now. Business is suffering, Billy is suffering -- he doesn't want to put her in a nursing home, and I don't either (she's normally a great lady who's fun to be around) and I'm suffering too. Vert just sits there on the couch with her westerns and her Bible, and seems oblivious that we're hurting or concerned about her. When he asks about her weird early morning behavior she just says she must have been dreaming. [And sleep walking too apparently???]
I hope by this thread I can get some feedback from others who've been in a similar situation. I appreciate all the prayers over the last few weeks folks but if there's one for a couple days of SOLID SLEEP I'll take all of those I can get. This is gonna kill me.
ale: and I wish I had the wisdom to send you to make things better :-|
