RussellSullivan
Well-Known Member
I know my wife cheats on me. Every time I come home the parrot says "Quick, out the window!"
Some great one liners
- Thread starter Mark Wainwright
- Start date
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I know my wife cheats on me. Every time I come home the parrot says "Quick, out the window!"
Don't bother buying your wife a watch for Xmas she already has a clock on her stove
My daughter was really nervous about taking her driving exam. She's never been in the front seat before. (Rodney Dangerfield)
Dartnut
Don't hate me because i'm beautiful
No matter how you shake or dance, the last drop always falls in your pants.
Life is like a roll of toilet paper...
The closer you get to the end, the faster if goes?
The closer you get to the end, the faster if goes?
Man That ain't no **** !
RussellSullivan
Well-Known Member
I got in touch with my inner self today. That's what I get for buying cheap toilet paper
Dartnut
Don't hate me because i'm beautiful
For all the good that suppositories do, you might as well just shove them up your ***.
You can always spot my ex wife in crowd, she's the one kick starting her broom with her left foot.
Cows may come and cows may go but the bull stays around forever.
From Al Bundt:
Why buy milk when you have a cow at home
Why buy milk when you have a cow at home
Minercar
LargeDreamsSmallCapital
This sign is at a local supply store where I can find about any fastener I need.
Wives, when your husband says he'll fix it, he will fix it. There is no need to remind him about it every six months.
Wives, when your husband says he'll fix it, he will fix it. There is no need to remind him about it every six months.
2 Lady friends having lunch. One says to the other, One night stands are like snow storms !
What do you mean ?
Well you never know how many inches your gonna get or how long it will last !
What do you mean ?
Well you never know how many inches your gonna get or how long it will last !
A blonde and a brunette were talking and the brunette said "My husband came home last night with some beautiful flowers. I spent all night on my back with my legs open".
The blonde says "Don't you have a vase?"
The blonde says "Don't you have a vase?"
My dad used to say that all the time. Thx for the memory.
Professor Fate
Push the button, Max...
My Dad taught me to swim when I was a baby by throwing me into the lake. My only problem was getting untied and out of the bag...
(W.C. Fields) Women are like elephants: They're fun to look at, but you wouldn't want to own one.
My ex is really hard on cars- every time I see her, my brakes fail and the throttle sticks wide open.
When I die, I want to go like my Grandpa- peacefully, in his sleep. Not screaming like the passengers in his car.
And my all time classic favorite:
I miss my ex- but my aim IS improving.
(W.C. Fields) Women are like elephants: They're fun to look at, but you wouldn't want to own one.
My ex is really hard on cars- every time I see her, my brakes fail and the throttle sticks wide open.
When I die, I want to go like my Grandpa- peacefully, in his sleep. Not screaming like the passengers in his car.
And my all time classic favorite:
I miss my ex- but my aim IS improving.
Dartnut
Don't hate me because i'm beautiful
I call my wife an angel.
She's always up in the air harping over something..........
She's always up in the air harping over something..........
diymirage
HP@idle > hondaHP@redline
just remember, Satan is an angel too
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