Trust.....

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You have my number. You've been there for me, if you need me, I am there for you.
 
inkjunkie said:
She claims she does. Understanding it and knowing what it truly means are 2 entirely different animals.

This is one of the reason I do my best to avoid any sort of serious friendships. And the irony of my one true friend is he is more or less the spitting image of me in a lot of ways.

I do realize that I look at life a bit differently than most. For me there is very little grey, everything is black & white. All I have ever asked, ever since all sh*t hit the fan years ago, is for a peaceful life. And knowing that I have these problems makes it very difficult at times. I really feel that my life was easier when I was just a raving Mad Man, spitting fire and nails at will, with no understanding of why. Because before I understood what is wrong with me I had no remorse for doing the things I did. I had no issue with jumping down my Ex's throat in public, and even less of a problem with jumping down some ones throat that tried to intervene. At times I wish I could be that cold hearted sob again........but I am fully aware that NOBODY would ever tolerate it.

We will get thru this. I am sure our upcoming conversation is going to get heated, because that is pretty much the only way things go for me when this sort of stuff happens. And heated conversations are pretty much useless for all involved. Which is a shame, because I feel that Ernie is my world. Some of the things are getting to me right now have been an ongoing issue. I have no one to blame but myself for not talking about them......communication has never been a strong point of mine.
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Praying for a good outcome Doug! You've always got friends here :)
 
For those that care things are being resolved.....at some point in my life I am hoping that I will eventually remember that one of the primary differences between man and woman is the way we think. I do not mean this as an insult in any way, just a simple statement of facts. A man tends to think with logic, to sort of prioritize things in a way where a woman tends to think more emotionally, often putting there wants in front of there needs. Often times this will spiral completely out of control resulting in your relationship being in a smoking pile. And that is what has happened here.....due to a complete lack of communication, very much on my part, things got turned sideways. In my defense Ernie is one of those folks that often times does not respond until things are about to go over the edge. And I mean that literally. We can be driving down the freeway, in the car pool lane going 80 mph in traffic. Our exit will be 150 feet from us, on the right side of the road and she will then tell me that we need to exit there. Unfortunately she runs many aspects of her life in the very same fashion. She knew she was leaving for AZ on Wednesday of a couple weeks ago. She knew that she wanted to bring the quilts with her., Instead of working on the quilts the previous week she was doing other things, that could have waited. The result was she spent most of Monday in a panic, trying to get them done. Unfortunately we both often times also forget what the definition of priority is...and as a married couple that there needs to be pecking order of sorts....The couples needs HAVE to be first and foremost....an individuals wants are a distant second.

Couple some very poor communication skills with an extremely short fused, volatile individual and you have the makings for a bumpy ride.

Rob, rumblefish360, you Sir are a true tree shaker. If it were not for a few things that Rob suggested in his PM I do not think I would have had the foresight to end this nightmare in what I am hoping is a very favorable solution. Del and Mr. Merritt, I owe the the two of you fine folks a tremendous Thank You. While I was sitting there reading there PM's and responding the light bulb switched back on. Mr. Merritt, forgive me for not responding to your last PM, I have not forgotten to respond just have been busy doing a few other things.

And to those that could not care less about my troubles no hard feelings on my end. I have been told by a few people that I whine about things to much. To those that feel that way I say it must be nice to lead a charmed life, where your life never gets derailed.....and as I have told many people in my past if it were not for folks like me you would have no way of judging just how perfect you truly are...... I know I am not very well liked by a lot of folks here. A few folks that I truly thought were friends have not said 2 words to me in a very long time. And I get it. You know longer view me as a "friend", whether it be because of a difference in opinion or my extremely bizarre behavior when we met. But I am who I am....
 
Don't sweat it Doug. Daddy was Mr. Merritt. I'm just plain old Rob. lol
 
i still like you and im glad you are resolving things .......i dont really know you that good but you guys seem like a really good matched couple from the outside looking in...thats quite rare :coffee2:

and most of the time its not the little day to day bumps that matter its when push comes to shove that really matters bcoz thats when the true loyalty shows.
 
You got it bud. I'm here if you need me.
 
Geez Doug, with your fuse and Ernie's latin blood, ya gotta figure there's gonna be a bit of a tiff in there every once in a while. It's gotta make the good times worthwhile, too.

Deb and I are still here for both of ya'll.
 
No such thing as 100% smooth sailing on the seas of life. There's always going to be storms, currents, doldrums, etc. It's all about the "ship" in "relationship" and how well built it is, and how you all weather the storm and patch the holes.

Doug, I can't give advice... Three failed engagements my friend, and this is why I've held off. The above is the best I can offer.
 
Shoot me a PM if you need to. I work in ministry and might be able to share some things that could be helpful.
 
As someone else who is bi-polar , the best thing that I can offer is to get into something that you can focus on , and let your mind cool off before any kind of conversation starts . If you go into a situation already pumped up , it'll make things worse . Thats when I get out my models and build something for however long it takes to get to the mellow side of things and can think clearly again . I'm here if you need to vent , dude .
 
This may sound strange but think about it.

We all have ego's and our own baggage that we bring with us everywhere we go.
My family has been headed for as long as I can remember by my Father who was/is a strong force for honor and integrity in our family.
I am the oldest Son and my Father is fading fast, so it is up to me to keep that legacy going in our family and this is how I handle it.
The following is my inner dialogue I use to maintain the frame of mind I need with my family and my friends alike.

"I am the force for honor and good that leads.
I am the bearer of the sword that can kill, or protect as I choose to use it.
It reminds me that I could easily behead any threat at any time I choose.
But choose only to use it to protect my family and friends.
If one of them needs to take something out on me, so be it as I know they do not really mean to hurt me.
I am the safe one to tread on, if you have to tread on someone.
I will not behead you for needing me, even though sometimes my ego may beg me to.
I will be here for you no matter the fight at hand because I have sworn to myself that this is who and what I will be for you."

This is the attitude I try to carry with me every day, and it is pretty damn hard to stick to it sometimes.
I also "loan" my sword when I see someone that needs it more than I do at the moment.

What a whacko huh? :)
I don't think I have ever told anyone that before.
 
We are their for Ya Doug...We love ya man !!!
Trailbeast that chit is deep !!!
 
TrailBeast said:
This may sound strange but think about it.

We all have ego's and our own baggage that we bring with us everywhere we go.
My family has been headed for as long as I can remember by my Father who was/is a strong force for honor and integrity in our family.
I am the oldest Son and my Father is fading fast, so it is up to me to keep that legacy going in our family and this is how I handle it.
The following is my inner dialogue I use to maintain the frame of mind I need with my family and my friends alike.

"I am the force for honor and good that leads.
I am the bearer of the sword that can kill, or protect as I choose to use it.
It reminds me that I could easily behead any threat at any time I choose.
But choose only to use it to protect my family and friends.
If one of them needs to take something out on me, so be it as I know they do not really mean to hurt me.
I am the safe one to tread on, if you have to tread on someone.
I will not behead you for needing me, even though sometimes my ego may beg me to.
I will be here for you no matter the fight at hand because I have sworn to myself that this is who and what I will be for you."

This is the attitude I try to carry with me every day, and it is pretty damn hard to stick to it sometimes.
I also "loan" my sword when I see someone that needs it more than I do at the moment.

What a whacko huh? :)
I don't think I have ever told anyone that before.
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True words of wisdom.
 
Bummer you are down Doug, I hope things get better for you, I can tell she means alot to you......I am not all that good at relationships, sorry. Can't give any worthwhile advise.....just wish you both the best
 
Isn't it great when some people just jump into a subject AS IF EVERYONE KNEW WHAT THE HECK THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT ???
What is this supposed to be?
 
Hey Doug, hang in there. If this forum can be used to help with life's problems, I say then we are all here for you my friend. BI polar is a tough thing to deal with, I know several people that have it. At least you know you can get help here if you need it. I think you do a good job of dealing with it by getting help when you realize something is not right. Some friends that I know don't have the thought to talk to someone when they have problems with their bi-polar. best wishes to ya!
 
I was listening to Charles Stanley the other night and he offered some good advice. Very simply, get busy. Find something for your hands to do. Chop wood, work on the car, fix stuff around the house, but get busy with your hands.

Dr. Stanley's advice was directed more towards people with anger control issues, but I think it might apply in your case. It helps your mind to focus and it allows a person to calm down and think rationally about the solution to whatever the problem may be.

As always, you can PM me.
 
Frankenduster said:
Isn't it great when some people just jump into a subject AS IF EVERYONE KNEW WHAT THE HECK THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT ???
What is this supposed to be?
Click to expand...
I dont understand it all but i understand that a member \friend is hurting .THATS ALL I NEED TO UNDERSTAND ! disgust....................................Hang in ther doug
 
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