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This is weird, but interesting! I can read this without missing a beat :bootysha: fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the...

My friend's brother sent her this photo from Okotoks – just outside Calgary.... Hilarious! Winter is almost over… We can now see the deer wandering around.

You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus: 1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die. 2. An old friend who once saved your life. 3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming...

> Yesterday I was buying 2 large bags of Purina dog chow at Wal-Mart, for my > dogs Gus and Maximus. I was about to check out when a woman behind me asked > if I had a dog. What did she think, that I had an elephant? Since I had > little else to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't...

Dear Mr. Minister, I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this. How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a t.v. cable from them back in 1997, and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was...

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.) If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!)...

It's that time of year to take our annual senior citizen test. Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of...

Two English businessmen in London were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up. One said to the other, 'I bet any minute now some idiot tourist is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what...

Young Chuck, moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died.' Chuck replied, 'Well, then just give me my money back.' The...

GOOD: Seattle, WA policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the problem - a 12-year-old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign, which read 'RADAR TRAP AHEAD'. The officer also found the boy had an accomplice who was down the...

A word to the wise. For all those who are retired and those who hope to retire. I suggest that you pay close attention to Jims' tale. ADVICE FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND: It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the...

Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; a reassurance to those of us who fly routinely in our jobs. After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics...

Three women: one engaged, one married, and one a mistress, are chatting about their relationships and decide to amaze their men....that night all three will wear a leather bodice S&M style, stilettos and mask over their eyes. After a few days they meet again..... The engaged...

On a golf tour in Newfoundland, Tiger Woods drives his new Ford Fusion into a gas station in a remote outport. The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Newfoundland manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro...

St. Patrick's Day Joke Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night when Mick, the bartender, says 'You'll not be drinking any more tonight, Paddy.' Paddy replies 'OK Mick, I'll be on my way then'. Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls...

Charlie walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says: "Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache." His wife is lying in bed and replies: "I think you'll find that's a sheep, you idiot." The man says: "I think you'll find that I wasn't talking to...

Murphy calls to see his mate Paddy who has a broken leg. > > > > Paddy says, 'Me feet are freezing mate, could you nip upstairs and get me > > slippers?' > > > > 'No bother,' he says, and he runs upstairs and there are Paddy's two > > stunning 19 year old twin daughters sitting on their...

HOW DO YOU GET INTO HEAVEN? > >I was testing the children in my Newfoundland Sunday school class to > >see if they understood the concept of getting to Heaven. > > > >I asked them, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale > > and gave all my money to the church, would that get...

EIGHTH PLACE: In Detroit , a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys. SEVENTH PLACE A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran,"...

This is pretty funny, I wish it happened to everyone robbing someone http://www.theindychannel.com/news/15051234/detail.html

Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. The winners are: 1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the...

We've all had trouble with our animals, but I don't think anyone can top this one: > > Calling in sick to work makes me > > uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I > > always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm > > lying. > > > > On one recent occasion, I had a > >...

The official Canadian temperature conversion chart: 50 degrees Fahrenheit (10 degrees Celsius) Californians shiver uncontrollably. Canadians plant gardens. 35 Fahrenheit (1.6 C) Italian cars won't start. Canadians drive with the windows down. 32 Fahrenheit (0 C) American water...

Heavy Drinking I just read an article on the dangers of heavy drinking.... It scared the **** out of me. So that's it! After today, no more reading.

"Hello, is this the Sheriff's Office?" "Yes. What can I do for you?" "I'm calling to report 'bout my neighbor Virgil Smith....He's hiding' marijuana inside his firewood! Don't quite know how he gets it inside them logs, but he's hiding' it there." "Thank you very much for the call...

The following are all replies that Dallas TX women have written on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing "father's details". Or putting it another way.. Who's yo Daddy? These are genuine excerpts from the forms (truth be told??). Number 5 gives new meaning to people from...

The wedding night......... A young Chinese couple gets married. She's a virgin. Truth be told, he is a virgin too, but she doesn't know that. On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses in the darkness. He climbs into bed next to her and tries to be...

Because I'm A Man Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in. Calling AAA is not an option. I will win. _______________________________________________________________ Because I'm a man...

One day, long, long ago, there was this woman who surprisingly, did not whine, nag or *****........ But this was a long time ago..... and it was just ONE day. The End

Apparently, students at a local college were assigned to read the book, "Titanic", by James Cameron, and the book, "My Life", by Bill Clinton and turn in a book report for each. One smart *** student turned in the following report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical...