Drinkng problems

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dodge freak

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Know anybody with a drinking problem, is it hopeless or what. Met this gal this week, well know her for awhile at her work place but just got her phone number and been checking her out recently. One morning I stop by her place after calling and she's all happy to see me but is sipping on some booze, the next day I stop by early afternoon at work after she just started work and I could smell booze on her breath.

Bums me out, here I never suspected anything like this. She isn't too young either, middle age and I thought had her act together. We are still getting to know each other, I have yet to say anything about it but think I will next time I see her in a day or two. Should I or what ? Any advice then forget her which might be the best ?
 
Tough call. If you do confront her about it, be direct. Nothing I hate more than folks that "beat around the bush" when they have something they want to talk about. Perhaps just come right out and ask her about it?
 
Run Forest run and don't look back. You can't change someone.
 
I have been sober 18 years now. its a tough one to give up thats for sure its a disease of the body and the mind. Its up to her to get help, she may have to hit a pretty big rock bottom before she gets there.
 
My brother does. Wish I could do something for him. He knows he has a problem but I guess its not time for him to do anything about. He will be 30 in Jan, Doesnt drive, never did, No job. Im sure his wife wont stay around to much longer if he doesnt do something with him self.

I can drink my fair share burring the summer but once that cold weather comes in I just want coffee, LOL
 
People are who they are. Their faults are the baggage they bring.
Look at it this way.. She's going to ask you to change your self ( like get A-bodies out of your life for example ) then she would be willing to try to develop some sort of relationship... What would your responce be ?
It goes both ways. If you hardly know her you cant ask her to or expect her to change for you, not yet anyway.
The love has to be there first, Wheather it comes from a friend, relative, self, or God,
Love is the tool used to inspire change in others.The effort is for their benefit not our own. We've all tryed it, we often suceed. God has the better track record.
I'll stop there,
before I'm compared to Doctor Phil LOL
 
if you were years into this already, i'd say get a plan together, stand by her and do what you can as long as she's working on getting better.



since your not, don't
 
Some people drink because they want to and some people drink because they have to. But to answer your question directly the answer is no. It's not hopeless. First off, what makes an alcoholic different than other people is that an alcoholic can not stop drinking once started. There's a reaction internally that causes the body of an alcoholic to need more once they start. It's not simply a matter of will power and self control. Therefore the only hope that there is for an alcoholic is for that person to stop drinking entirely. There is absolutely no possibility for an alcoholic to control or moderate their drinking. Ever. That said you haven't provided enough information to determine whether your friend is an alcoholic or just a habitual drinker. There's really no way anyone but her can really answer that question. As far as confrontation goes, give it a try. Be aware that there aren't too many people that are more convincing than an alcoholic when it comes to trying to make you believe that they're Ok. They have themselves convinced to the point that "denial" isn't even a word the professionals use. The preferred word is "delusion" which means that they actually believe they're Ok when they're not. So if and when you confront her be prepared for the most convincing stage performance you'll ever witness.
 
coming from a home with an alchoholic father i say run. in my experience the more you get to know them the more it hurts when you see them that way. but also love is blind. good luck. and if you confront her and she runs it is prob best that way.
 
Thing to remember is an alcoholic can stop drinking, they have to want to. A friend in AZ is a recovering Alcoholic/Addict. He lost everything. Wife & son left in the middle of the night, have not been heard form since. Woke up in a cardboard box in Vegas and decided enough is enough. Has not had a drink or used drugs in close to thirty years. And is very up front about it all. When I lived there we would often meet in a bar. He would always have a six pack in the fridge for when his friends that could drink showed up. Other have said that if you have nothing invested just to walk away. Thing is, if you do and she decides to change she very well could be the nicest person you ever meet...
 
If you have to ask, then more than likely it is a problem. She will have to deal with it. If you think she will quit because she likes you, think again. Eventually you will not be a good enough reason. If you want a relationship with her, ask her to stop. Then wait two years. If at the end of that time she is still not drinking, who knows, maybe she really likes you.
 
She told me she didn't drive today to work but got a ride from a co worker cause she gets "panic attacks"

Thinking about her later on got me to think she just knew better then to drink and drive.

I can smell booze easily cause I don't enjoy drinking-gets me dizzy and drowsy and a mild headache the next day, so I just stick with drinking soda. Funny cause from age 19 to age 25 I was a non stop light drinker, a 6 pack of light beer with a few shots once the sun went down. I loved buying beer in the early morning to start the day but after making a complete fool of myself and then coming very close to being arrested for driving impaired, I gave it up for 8 months-everything pills, pot, booze....but after those 8 months I never enjoyed drinking again and its been over 20 years now !

I really believe its body chemistry. I met people who swears even a little pot gets them sleepy, pot for me wakes me up.

I'm taking it one day at a time with her, yes I noticed when you bring something up she doesn't want to talk about, she brushes you off. Maybe I skip talking about it for now and just enjoy her company.
 
After more thought think i just forget about her, funny she told me to call her after work today and i did and got no answer but then she called me back an hour later saying she just got a new phone and wasn't sure who called her and she has to hung up and save my number . Oh well, live and learn. Pisses me off how she played around asking to see me. She has some dude living with her I'm pretty sure. I don't need no grief or problems...I'm in better shape then her guy anyhow, ha ha

**** it
 
Get hammered with her one time have fun then rolllll out!!! Yea but seriously sounds like she has a multitude of issues, probably brought on by alcoholism so I would stay way clear of that one bro.
 
I used to have a friend that married a beautiful woman that had a drug problem. She agreed to give it up and he had money so he paid for 30 day in patient drug therapy but it failed.

He paid a second time for 30 day in patient drug therapy and it failed. He followed up with local therapy both times and he even went with her.

Still yet again he paid a third time for 30 day in patient drug therapy. All of these places were top notch and cost a small fortune but she left the third one about half way through the program. She told him that she was going to do drugs and if he loved her he would do drugs with her. About three or four months later he was found dead with a needle in his arm.
 
Just wondering, do you think she may have a mental illness of sorts?? It is very common for us to "self medicate"......
 
Tell her firmly that even though you like her, you believe she has a drinking problem, and you can't risk your well-being by being involved with her. Alcoholics are very manipulative, your life will become miserable. She will get mad and lay a guilt trip on you, do not fall for it. Take care of yourself man. She is not your responsibility. This is the one who wants you list her car on ebay, isn't it?
 
dodge freak said:
Know anybody with a drinking problem, is it hopeless or what. Met this gal this week, well know her for awhile at her work place but just got her phone number and been checking her out recently. One morning I stop by her place after calling and she's all happy to see me but is sipping on some booze, the next day I stop by early afternoon at work after she just started work and I could smell booze on her breath.

Bums me out, here I never suspected anything like this. She isn't too young either, middle age and I thought had her act together. We are still getting to know each other, I have yet to say anything about it but think I will next time I see her in a day or two. Should I or what ? Any advice then forget her which might be the best ?
Click to expand...

i knew a girl like that... she always drank wherever we went and sometimes she would get in lil arguments with friends and family over her wanting to drive drunk and call me to come "save her". If id pop a cork ..i knew i had better pop two if she was coming by...she was also expensive, top shelf and 45+ a bottle reds were mandatory...

In a 'nutshell' her fate was to be a ''f and chuck'' :coffee2:
 
goldfish65 said:
This is the one who wants you list her car on ebay, isn't it?
Click to expand...

Yes it is, well the internet and I said Ebay.

I got to her work place 10 mins before she was to get there and look for her ride and then spotted one leaving the lot just like hers driven by some dude but its only 7 years old so I brushed it off.

I waited in the lot for her to pull up and she never did so I went in and she was inside. I threw my arms out like what happen and got a nice hello from her. I asked, where is your car and said said a co worker took her to work - some chicks name she called out. That is when she said she gets panic attacks and can't always drive.

So I told her I go back to her house and snap some pictures and she was like great, thanks. So I did and some dude was working in her garage and I told him what I was doing and he was like, take the pictures but hold off listing the car till I have a talk with her but then it is up to her.

So I went back to her work place and told her I met her BF and she was like too busy to speak then and told me to call her later--she was then really busy so it did make some sense.

Freaken gal ask me to buy something for her and then goes saying it wasn't quite it and told me what she really wants I'm to bring it up in a few days...she thinks I will, ha ha

What is it with some chicks:protest:
 
well my take on it is this.. i stopped drinking for 3 yrs just cold turkey no problem .. then i started back and dont drink as much are anything like i did before i stopped..now she may have a drinking problem, but what problem do you have????? everybody has some thing.... she may not like something about you....just saying cause she drinks dont mean she is a bad person.. i know people that dont drink,smoke or anything thats just down right rude and nasty... i know people that drink that is nice and friendly ...everybody has something they do that they like or is a habbit....whats your????:prayer::prayer::prayer:
 
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