How did you get her involved in cars?

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JR

JR

Pissed off senior member.
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Ok so I'm building the 48 for Nikki http://www.forabodiesonly.com/mopar/showthread.php?t=40110

and I told her that she was going to help with this one but... I'm they type of guy that gets all bent out of shape when other people work on my cars. I'm constantly looking over to make sure that it is done right and for the most part I can get more work done by myself than I can with 2 or 3 people helping even if I know they know what they are doing.

That being said the 48 is Nikkis car and I know that she wants to work on it and learn but she also knows that I would try to show her how to do something and end up doing it myself and she would just end up standing there, get fed up and go back inside.

I know I'm not the only one like that, so how do you get "her" involved in the actual build so she is doing more than just standing next to the car looking hot at the shows?
 
Let her do all the..make her look purrrty.Eg. wash windows,tires,chrome.At least she,ll be helping and be involved.I,m the same as you,but nobody touches my cars.G.F drives my truck and it,s a write off inside(messy and dirty)but inside house is spotless.I,m confused with that??
 
Well...... IVe actually never had a woman interested in turning wrenches with me but I have run into a very similar issue. Being a contractor both of my ex's wanted to be a part of any remodeling projects on the houses we had and Im EXACTLY like you in that Id rather do everything by myself so I know its done right the first time and even with paid helpers on jobsites I am always feeling like Im doing more "babysitting" than getting work done because of keeping an eye on them. At least from my experience having her do little menial things isnt going to cut it because she will know its just busy work and end up getting pissed off. So I always ended up planning on things taking 4 times as long as normal. Twice as much time to teach what to do and have her do it. And then another twice as much time to tear apart what she did and re-do it myself when she isnt around. It usually ends up taking almost double the materials I would have needed if I had just done it myself, almost double the cost, and the aggrevation isnt even measureable lol Maybe someone else here has had a better experience and knows some trick that I dont. Im sure my answer is not at all what you were looking for and I wish you all the luck in the world in making it an enjoyable experience for both you and Nikki. JR just spend a little time before you start practicing biting your lip and smiling and Im sure that things will be ok.
 
The problem is that she knows that cleaning glass, polishing chrome, screwing trim on and all the other small things is "***** work" she wants to do the fun stuff like weld, build and the motor. She wants to make things work like molding in whatever tail lights we decide to use, build a custom rear bumper and things like that. So I can't get away with saying "Here honey polish these chrome parts." she would throw them at me and say "Do it yourself asshole!"

She has gone to my buddies wreaking yard with me and crawled under an old dodge truck in about 10 inches (no I'm not kidding! ) of mud and stingy nettles to pull off a set of slant six headers. She dove under that truck like it was nothing and the next day she was all dolled up and you could never even guess what she did the day before.

I know she can do it if I showed her it's more me getting over the fact that there is someone else besides my dog in MY garage working with MY tools on her car.
 
i would let her do it. do you have another car that needs work? i always find it easier for me to be working on my thing and let her do hers. if she messes up or needs help with something, then go help her... but otherwise, you just have to say "this is how you need to do it" and then let her try. it's difficult for a lot of girls to get into it because they don't have that whole gearhead kid thing... when we were wrenching and figuring out how NOT to do things, they were getting all spiffed up to see us for dinner.... it's a learning curve i guess.
 
Well maybe she could start doing brakes or shocks.Not sayin she can,t do other stuff,but if she screws up your 1/4 panel or something??Bacon,s gonna hit the fan.LOL!!
 
seriously. i mean, who knew how to weld sheetmetal before they did their first oil change? gotta work them up there, and try to make sure they've done their homework and everything before working on your brakes...

EDIT: i don't mean to sound mean, i just think for ANYONE who hasn't done auto work, it's hard to jump into a project that requires work that is beyond the basics.
 
happster said:
seriously. i mean, who knew how to weld sheetmetal before they did their first oil change?
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I did! I started doing bodywork before I ever got near the actual mechanical stuff. But that's not really the point...

It sounds like you're going to have to bite the bullet on this one. She knows enough to figure out if you're giving her busy/***** work, so she's close enough to do real stuff. I'm the same way, a perfectionist that prefers to do stuff myself. But I also work with my g/f on her trucks, and I've found that while she doesn't have the same experience I do if I try to watch her or help out I just get in trouble. Just let her do work that you can check before the rubber hits the road and call it good.

You learned somehow, I know I cross-threaded plenty of bolts, burned holes in a few panels and had to re-do plenty of jobs (some more than once) to get where I am now, you'll just have to show some patience and be prepared to do a few things more than once. Best of luck!
 
I understand where ya at JR. What you need to do is relax like no tomorrow nd let her make every mistake. When you get up to redo it, be calm without so much as a twitch in the lip and show her like a kind old man school teacher, calm voice and all.

IF you can not do this, she'll never join you in anything you like to do after she has had enuff of your angry bull **** over the car.

Shoe on the other foot my freind, shoe on the other foot.

How would you like to be treated by a overzelous ***?


I let my wife do some remodeling as well. Now, she does toilet bowls and other plumbing.
I let her do the trim work in the bathroom. I gave her a copeing saw and showed her how it works. LOL YEP! you know it, she fucked up lots of fotage in trim. I just looked up and smiled. Told her I'd finish it later, and did. Not a word, just a smile and reassurance that it was OK. She did more than most, tried, failed, tried again, failed, tried a 3rd time and failed again.

The next day, I showed her how to use the saw and why, where and what went wrong. Now, I no longer do trim in the house.

There was a time where you learned and screwed everything up, now, it's her turn except, your there to show her and coorect her while showing her the best possible way it should turn out.

P.S. Me and my wife build engines togther. She's good.
 
Tara has actually been proactive, she is the one who cleaned the engine bay and then helped me prep it for paint. I just showed her how and she went at it. She also wire wheeled all the rust off the floor. She has done other things as well but I was there to help and teach (spark plug tube seals, after 30+years they are kinda hard). I found that if I step back and realize it's the woman I love and that she hasn't ever done this before I can go slower and help her learn. (it can still be frustrating as I am sitting there thinking I could be done by now, but we all have to learn sometime) She did say that she wanted to do her own seat covers, now I just gotta buy them.
 
if she is interested in learning it teach man teach not to many girls even have a bit of interest in car repair . you got to learn somehow . i had a good teacher when i was young my dad he wouldnt help me till i couldnt figure it out for a couple of days then he would come and show me what to do and still wouldnt do for me . my wife does the same thing to me . she wants to do heavy repairs not the little stuff , but it will keep your partner ship strong as long as you dont get mad at here for learning mistakes.
 
340jeff said:
if she is interested in learning it teach man teach not to many girls even have a bit of interest in car repair . you got to learn somehow . i had a good teacher when i was young my dad he wouldnt help me till i couldnt figure it out for a couple of days then he would come and show me what to do and still wouldnt do for me . my wife does the same thing to me . she wants to do heavy repairs not the little stuff , but it will keep your partner ship strong as long as you dont get mad at here for learning mistakes.
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This is coming from a guy who gets so involved in working on the car that he forgets I'm standing there. LMAO He is right though, need to lighten up and let her help. She can't learn anything if you won't let her touch the car.

I didn't make any mistakes when I helped pull the engine out of that truck and helped rebuild it JEFF:) :bootysha:
 
IF she goes to the shows at all she is involved.
Females don't like our scatched up hands and grease under our nails. Many of them would prefer a man who played golf in his spare time.
I'm blessed with one who asks what she can do to help ( not often but sometimes ).
 
Wow...so your saying that your wives actually want to help you, or even like the car hobby in general...whats that like? My wife has absolutely no interest in car shows, my car club, swap meets, being out in the garage with me...nothing. I try to get her interested and include her in decisions about the cars, you know " what color should I paint this one" or "what do you thingk about these wheles" or whatever...but still no interest at all. It really sucks because sometimes I feel like she gets pissed when I go off to another show and she stays home alone. I invite her everytime to come with me, she went to one show but that was it.
 
Don't let it bother you John. Yours is the majority type female.
 
My wife don't have a drop of gear head in her blood, She just knows that we do "Me and my sons" So I would not be much help here, But lets give her a challenge :cheers: Have you designed the seat support placets yet or anything that needs to be measured and cut out and welded ?
Or gussets that could look good and need to be dun?
Give her a measuring tape and let her build something that she can do as you coach her along. And ask for her opinion and what she wants to do to her car. Treva has helped me tape a car off for paint and help with the clean up for paint, But that has been a few years ago when I needed her help.
She sounds like a girl that will not take off running as soon as you fire up a torch or back away from a few hot sparks.:thumleft:
give her a challenge and just be there for her and be proud that you have
a lady ready to learn. I know that you are damned good at your work , so take on step back and watch if you can and give her a big smile when she is doing it wrong. You are the teacher know bud, So sow your seed and show her how. 8) This is easier said then dun , so make us proud. :read2:
 
Well fellas, I must have one of the good ones. When we decided that the 66 in my avatar was going to be Wendy's car, we made a deal that she would make the important decisions about what color, what look, what options she wanted, and she would spend her $$$ to get the project done. I'm not saying that I didn't help her in all of those areas, but I let her run the ship and be the boss because after all, it was her car. This made her not only take pride in the fact that she could call it her way, but she wanted to see that she was getting her monies worth, and she paid a lot of attention to detail that she would have never been bothered with had she not been involved. Many's the night we spent together under the lift scraping off all of the undercoating and removing crusty parts, and she never complained about it. I think she liked telling me what to do and checking my work for a change, as much as I probably do that to her. In the end, she is very proud of her car, does whatever she wants to it and with it, and she knows a lot more about her car and can accurately tell me when she thinks somethings not right with it somewhere. It didn't all go off without a hitch, but then we wern't building a showpiece, we were building a marriage under there, and we're both better mates because of it. So get em' under the car fellas, theres love under there, and tell her that cardboard is actually really cumfy for a nap!!! Good luck all!!! Geof
 
360scamp said:
The problem is that she knows that cleaning glass, polishing chrome, screwing trim on and all the other small things is "***** work" she wants to do the fun stuff like weld, build and the motor. She wants to make things work like molding in whatever tail lights we decide to use, build a custom rear bumper and things like that. So I can't get away with saying "Here honey polish these chrome parts." she would throw them at me and say "Do it yourself asshole!"

She has gone to my buddies wreaking yard with me and crawled under an old dodge truck in about 10 inches (no I'm not kidding! ) of mud and stingy nettles to pull off a set of slant six headers. She dove under that truck like it was nothing and the next day she was all dolled up and you could never even guess what she did the day before.

I know she can do it if I showed her it's more me getting over the fact that there is someone else besides my dog in MY garage working with MY tools on her car.
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As your last line says, it's HER car. I'm the same way. Don't tell me to polish chrome. I'll weld, sand, whatever, while YOU go polish chrome.

If the problem is "my dog in MY garage working with MY tools", maybe she needs her own dog in her own garage with her own tools...

Someones else made a comment about women not liking men with grease under their nails - doesn't bother me, but my manicurist thinks it's funny that I have fancy fake nails that are all grease-stained. Of course, she makes more money so it's all okay...
 
Let her work on it. Then when she is done and leaves. Go back over it and fix it the way you want it to be. That is what I do any way.
 
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