Want to pose a question

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by moparmat2000, Dec 6, 2018.

  1. fishmens67

    fishmens67 Well-Known Member

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    Separate finances work in my household, just make sure the wife has spending money.
    She will be happy and surprised if you deposit cash in her account, doesn't have to be much.
    But, I bet life will be much happier.
     
  2. fishmens67

    fishmens67 Well-Known Member

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    Oh, I forgot ! tell her face friends to BUTT OUT !
     
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    • moparmat2000

      moparmat2000 FABO Gold Member FABO Gold Member

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      She said she would pose the question to her facebook friends and asked me to pose the question to my Fabo friends, and see what the responses are. I can already see that from the 2 the women that replied on her facebook that their views are probably all going to be diametrically opposed to what most of you think.
       
    • ScampMike

      ScampMike Despicable Damn Yankee FABO Gold Member

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      as with anything - it depends on who you ask..
       
    • moparmat2000

      moparmat2000 FABO Gold Member FABO Gold Member

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      True, and how its worded, or whats left out
       
    • fishmens67

      fishmens67 Well-Known Member

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      Your wife doesn't want to know my real opinion. I bet most of her friends are single or about to be single.
       
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      • moparmat2000

        moparmat2000 FABO Gold Member FABO Gold Member

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        Post your complete unvarnished pinion. She really wants to read these.
         
      • Johnny Dart

        Johnny Dart Well-Known Member

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        To the wife....Airing your dirty laundry on facebook ?
        Unbelievable. Some things should be kept private, and your marital
        matters would be one of them.
         
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        • Johnny Dart

          Johnny Dart Well-Known Member

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          To the husband....You two are supposed to be a team. All for one one for all. You two against the world. For better or worse.
          I do not agree with your separate account, behind her back.
          You have to trust one another, or you have nothing.
           
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          • msaund69

            msaund69 Cold-Member

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            Should have told her, nobody reacts well to secrets regardless of what the reason.

            For us, other than business accounts all the $ goes into one account. Been 33 years and we both have done the bill paying at different time. Never been my money or her money issues. We both ask out of respect before any significant spending. Honestly I don't understand a marriage where some things are not shared?

            That being said what works for me may not work for you!
             
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            • kybatman

              kybatman Well-Known Member

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              My wife and I have a " PTB = Pay the bills" joint account, our own individual accounts. 50% of our checks go direct to PTB, the rest to individual.

              been doing this for 15 of our 20 years together.

              Keeps the peace.

              -Bruce
               
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              • R4Sedan

                R4Sedan Life in the Fastback Lane FABO Gold Member

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                Exactly, your a smart man.
                 
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                • ScampMike

                  ScampMike Despicable Damn Yankee FABO Gold Member

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                  yes, behind her back is an issue - are you saying that if he had talked to her about it first and they agreed, then is that ok?
                   
                • Johnny Dart

                  Johnny Dart Well-Known Member

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                  If it is something that they agreed on.Of course.
                   
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                  • ScampMike

                    ScampMike Despicable Damn Yankee FABO Gold Member

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                    thanks, just wanted to clarify that :thumbsup:
                     
                  • moper

                    moper FABO Gold Member FABO Gold Member

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                    The quality of partner (goes both ways) makes that possible, or impossible. It was impossible for me. 10 years then divorced. GF I've had for 10 years now is also divorced. We keep separate accounts but I know her spending and she knows mine. It solves a lot of tension like the OP has and I don't feel it's a slight in anybody's direction.
                     
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                    • 70chall440

                      70chall440 Mopar or No Car...

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                      I will say that I have not read through both pages completely but felt compelled to comment. The "behind her back" thing will bite you squarely and very hard at some point. That said, the fact that this is even a consideration saying something about the relationship (not saying its bad or good). It seems that there is a desire to have some "play money" that the wife is not supportive of; IMO this requires a much larger discussion than opening a covert bank account.

                      I get it believe me, my wife is a stickler with finances which has been the source of issues more than once. That said, as a direct result of her efforts I am completely debt free and own a lot of crap (9 vehicles, 3 motorcycles, etc) so I have no right to complain (even though I still do). In our case, I do have a separate account that I have had since 86 (pre marriage); I have an amount of money that goes into it monthly specifically for my own use on the agreement that in times of emergency I will provide it for the greater good.
                       
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                      • DesertRat

                        DesertRat FABO Gold Member FABO Gold Member

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                        Matt: you should do what you know you need to. Facebook and google will be the downfall of civilization as we know it.
                         
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                        • ScampMike

                          ScampMike Despicable Damn Yankee FABO Gold Member

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                          well said sir
                           
                        • toolmanmike

                          toolmanmike FABO Staff Staff Member FABO Gold Member

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                          Mrs. Moparmatt, don't sweat the small stuff. Matt was just doing what he thought was right with the separate account. He just went about it the wrong way. (pay attention here Matt) Give it a try and see how it works. If it doesn't you can always close the account and go back to the way it was.
                           
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                          • ScampMike

                            ScampMike Despicable Damn Yankee FABO Gold Member

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                            1462484399168.jpg
                             
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                            • fishmens67

                              fishmens67 Well-Known Member

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                              My wife knows about the cash being applied to the gun safe. She doesn't know how much and doesn't care.
                              It's gonna be nice if the rainy day ever comes, real nice !
                              Bottom line folks, mans purpose is to provide for his bride and endure any financial stress.
                               
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                              • moparmat2000

                                moparmat2000 FABO Gold Member FABO Gold Member

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                                My only play money is my paypal account period. If nothing is in my paypal, i dont buy project parts. Its not linked up to savings etc. My checkbook is always open for her to look at. Its a boring read. Bills, gas, dog food at pet smart for my little idget etc. Whatevers left goes to savings.

                                If i wasnt a saver we wouldent have had the extra 3k to put on a newer car for her along with the trade in on a van we were upside down on. If it wasnt for me, we wouldent be living in a house that i bought and payed for in its entirety a year before we got married, or would have the money for property tax and homeowners insurance yearly as i have to escrow that myself since i dont have a mortgage. If i wasnt a saver i wouldent have a 401k that will provide for her long after i am gone. She is the beneficiary of everything. She touts to her friends how i am good at making the money work, this is one of those things.

                                Yep i am gathering from a lot of you that i went about this the wrong way, however every time i would mention doing this in the past we would argue about it. After 8 years of this, i got to where i would dread looking at the account every week and try to make the numbers add up.

                                I write checks for all the bills. She works full time as a nurse. I only ask her to buy the groceries, take care of her student loan, our sons after school care and gas in her car, plus whatever else she wants to use the money she makes for. She usually buys Christmas for the kids, i asked her what she needed this year, gave her $500 towards it.
                                 
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                                • moparmat2000

                                  moparmat2000 FABO Gold Member FABO Gold Member

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                                  Yup, and i do. I cover everything but her student loan, the groceries which she agreed to buy to help out, the after school care for our son which she agreed to pay for and her fuel.

                                  I do the rest. Homeowners ins, prop taxes, water, electric, gas, cable, phone, car payment, auto insurance, healthcare, dental, eyecare ins, money in 401k.

                                  My play money is my paypal money i get from selling parts. Doesnt come out of my paycheck. She never argues with me over that, because she knows where its coming from.
                                   
                                • YY1

                                  YY1 Well-Known Member

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                                  [QUOTE="...
                                  Bottom line folks, mans purpose is to provide for his bride and endure any financial stress.[/QUOTE]

                                  Fortunately my wife does not subscribe to this.

                                  We are both very independent/self sufficient, and make a MUCH stronger team because of it.

                                  Did I mention the part about NEVER arguing about money. NEVER.

                                  That equates to almost never arguing.
                                  I can probably count on one hand the number of times we've had strong disagreements in over 18 years.