Life Can Change Real Fast

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BrianT said:
I also feel your pain. Five years ago, just before Christmas, my wife and I were on the verge of separation and divorce. Basically told me the same thing, she wasn't happy and wasn't getting any younger. Figured she'd cut her losses and move on. I convinced her to visit a counselor with me, and it worked!! She had a lot of unresolved issues that she needed to vent at me. It made our marriage stronger, but still not perfect. It is at least worth a shot. If not, get a good attorney before she does!!

Don't lose your faith, fall back on it! Put your trust in God, and things will work out, one way or another. Stay busy and try to keep your mind off of things (I know it's hard). Good luck!
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Marriage is never perfect. It takes maintenance every day.The grass isnt always greener on the other side as she may soon learn.Hold tight she may realize she made a mistake.Then you can decide if you want her back. Right now your best option is to look at things from a different perspective. Talk to her friends and find out what they know and what was bothering her. Maybe they can get her to talk to you. Good luck. If that doesnt work date all her friends who are available. Jealousy is a powerful emotion.
 
Surround yourself with as much of your family and old friends as possible. There is strength in those relationships that your can draw from, I know that empty feeling your going through. Change the furniture, paint the walls, try new things, work on your car, get your own routine, it may sound cheesy but anything you can do to keep your focus on something else will help. There is nothing like time to help this get better. Stay away from sappy love songs and movies, HER FRIENDS AND FAMILY, and anything else that reminds you of her. Things get better, not quickly but you will find yourself getting stronger, you may just become a better person. DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP, it takes two to tango.
 
Happens to the best of us. I was married 18 years, out of the blue she said "I don't know if I love you, don't know if I want the responsibility of the kids, when I figure it out I'll let you know". Well I was left with an 11 YO and a 13 YO sons. That was 1989. The boys are successful and in their 30's now. After being divorced 18 years my ex told me it was the biggest mistake of her life. She's 58, has some health problems and lives alone.

Sometimes all you can do is remember to breath, don't drink too much and just put one foot in front of another. Trust me, it does get better.

Jim
 
well buddy i feel your pain going through about the same thing now myself..do as i did change your life for you and you only make you happy..(you know what they say if you cant make you happy you cant make nobody else happy) keep youself full of good thoughts and things to do work on your cars spend some time with some good buddies. wish you the best ......
 
Sorry to hear about your situation, I´ve been there too. All selfconfidence was gone and life seemed to lost the purpose.
However with time it got better and about a half of a year after the divorce,
for me was the best era of my life. Discovered that I was able to do whatever I wanted anytime anywere.
But me and my former wife was friends after the divorce and our boys lived with me every other week.
Keep the spirit up and keep yourself busy.
 
Here's thought for ya. God is STILL on your team. Remember, if ya aint on Gods front line then satan will never fire at ya. We may not always understand what is going on but God does. Talk to him, he loves us. We'll be praying.
Small Block
 
losing someone you,ve been with and loved so much is hard. i fell your pain and it is hard to keep the faith,stay close to your family at home and church. almost one year ago i lost my wife to cancer and everyday i struggle with it but my faith to jesus helps me and two sons, christmas time can be a joyish time, spend it with your family and friends, stay strong junior
 
Everyone gave so much good advice, had no idea this many people had gone through this. What i've learned is what you do is never good enough, they always want more. As a lot said make your own routine.. anything you do the same will keep bringing up memories
 
Been through it too my brother. If I could be of any help to you, feel free to PM me and I'll give you my phone number for someone to talk to. Christopher
 
Prayer's sent your way! That happened to me about 4 years ago, and I'm still dealing with some of the emotions. Put your faith in God. I also found it easier if I avoided "self medication" with drugs or alcohol, altogether...
 
daredevil said:
Talk to her friends and find out what they know and what was bothering her. Maybe they can get her to talk to you. Good luck. If that doesnt work date all her friends who are available. Jealousy is a powerful emotion.
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Bad idea in my opinion, her friends will sabotage you.

I feel for you, this is hard to go through. You're starting a new chapter in your life, keep looking forward and make good things happen for yourself.
 
goldfish65 said:
Bad idea in my opinion, her friends will sabotage you.

I feel for you, this is hard to go through. You're starting a new chapter in your life, keep looking forward and make good things happen for yourself.
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her friends [single divorcee's] are probably have something to do with her decision.

women usually don't know what they want, so they do all sorts of speratic non sense and screw everything up.

they need to be taken out, taken on vacations, and reminded of what they have.

btw if women are so independent and capable...why the hell do the courts always give them more? cause they aren't capable of anything but being dependents victims...of themselves usually.

good luck, sounds like shes having a mental breakdown [or mid life crisis for women..as they call it]
 

Been there. Right now you don't think it will but after time, the hurt does go away. Sounds like she was ready to leave awhile ago. You're just the last ones to find out. Don't be surprised if there's somebody else. Most important is to remember that it's not your fault even though she will make you feel that way.
 
64conv65hard said:
Been there. Right now you don't think it will but after time, the hurt does go away. Sounds like she was ready to leave awhile ago. You're just the last ones to find out. Don't be surprised if there's somebody else. Most important is to remember that it's not your fault even though she will make you feel that way.
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women, and selfish people in general, try and pass the blame to help themselves feel better about abandoning ship.
Get a pi to check her out for 1 week and check all pone records to rule out another man.
Tell her she is an idiot and that she can go get trampolined by all the guys she wants but that she'l never find another who will actually love her, cause see...she's not loyal....and sure most guys might want to bone someone elses wife [friends wives excluded] but none of us want to marry them...just sample them.
I know sounds bad but reality is harsh.
 
Had this happen to me also 1 1/2 years ago,but involved my pride and joy..my daughter.Haelee was 2 1/2 at the time,so it really hurt.After she takes you for 1/2 and some,she,ll screw it up and want back.There,s so much $$$ involved with breakup,s,in the end it makes us stronger.Keep your chin up Junior.Oh,get your cars in your sons names before they go bye-bye.Just food for thought.
 
Get a lawyer, I've seen this happen to my parents, friends, neighbors, co-workers.........get a lawyer.

Keep your head up.
 
Junior, it seems to me you're getting a lot of really great advice as well as some that's really awful. You can choose the route that's best for you.

Just know in your heart that you have a friend here of the female persuasion who isn't out to take half of everything, sabotage or undermine you ... I'm here to listen and offer you a softer shoulder to lean on if you ever need it. We're here for you.
 
Know that she has abandoned you YES Abandonment is the key word here....
Show your strengths and wake every morning and be glad she did not wait another year or two to do this. i am so sorry to hear yet another man is going though this Junior.
Chin up and let god take care of the things you have no control over.
Block her calls and rearrange the the house with your way of doing things and carry on with us one day at a time
Easier said then dun Junior, Have some of your friends over for food and cards or spend time with your car's, You have earned it and carry on with your life as well as you can.
Remember you have god with you so don't let yourself down, Hang a sign on the door that reads THIS DOOR SWINGS OPEN TO MY FRIENDS and swings open one time if the wife abandoned me on her way out... I pray for happiness and well being for you Junior and hope things get back to normal witch ever brings you to a humble and happy day
 
what ever you do, don't change only for her or to her demands.
If you want to change, do it for yourself cause otherwise you'll only be switching on who gets to be the unhappy one.

compromise IS key, but only in a healthy way for the 2 of you.
 
inkjunkie said:
This is the very reason a friend was just served the big "D" papers.....
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it's really common.
like hags tripping up they're friends so they have someone to go out with on ladies night. ha ha

You see it a lot with military wives around here, amongst the fixed marriages as well..

bumma bumma
 
1wild&crazyguy said:
it's really common.
like hags tripping up they're friends so they have someone to go out with on ladies night. ha ha

You see it a lot with military wives around here, amongst the fixed marriages as well..

bumma bumma
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This is more true than most would think. Women and their groups of friends want someone to bathe in their own misery together. If she was feeling any sort of trouble with the marriage you can bet her friends pushed her in one direction.
 
How does that saying go, If you love something let it go, if it comes back it's yours, if it doesn't come back hunt it down and kill it. :toothy10:

Sorry Junior, just trying to add a little humour into what must be a crappy time for you. Like everyone says it's a lousy situation but the sun will rise and another day will begin. Remember the good times and eventually you'll move on and don't try to overanalyse her leaving, sometimes there are no easy answers just accept that she left and you have your own life to live now.

Good Luck
 
It's the attachment thats hard to get over, the routine...but that routine has to fit the criteria of 2 people too and not just ones comfort zone.
creatures of hobbit we are.ha

& hell if don't work out..
and like I always say....

just have her killed:dontknow:


:rolleyes:
 
dude, hide the Mopars, give her 1/2 of everything and go live your life. Its only money and you can make more. It's really not worth the pain and suffering your going to put yourself through....... my 2 cents
 
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