Sorry Guys I neet to Vent my Girlfriend Problems

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DusterDude72 on the first page gave you the best advice. You probably just graduated and shes going to be a Junior this year right? These guys that are acting like you are some kind of sexual predator are idiots. You are with this girl because you care for her, not because you're some perverted adult looking to hook up with a minor (like you said, you're a minor yourself right now).

With that said....yes it will most likely be illegal in your state to have sex with her once you're 18. Which sucks because you aren't some 40 year old pervert looking to hook up with a little kid....you're a teenager looking to have a meaningful relationship with a girl you could have had freakin P.E. with. It sucks, I know....but what sucks even more is that by the sound of her parents, they'll be right there to try and prosecute you if they hear anything goes down.

Now with that said....you don't know what love is yet. Love isn't something that happens after 3 months. Infatuations happen but not love. Love is much deeper than anything that can develop in 3 months. Every relationship will have this 6 month honeymoon period where everything seems perfect. Do not make the mistake of ignoring this because thats not how the relationship will last.

I've dated all kinds of girls with big problems. One was a constant cryer, one was so cold it was like dating a guy after a while, one was still in love with her ex from high school and one was controlled by her parents. We were 21 and she had to ask her parents if she could hang out with me. She had to check in with her parents every few hours. If she told her parents we were going to the movies, she had to be home in a reasonable time after the movie ended or else they would get mad at her. I wasn't even allowed to go upstairs at their house because thats where my girlfriends room was.

There is only one chance you have. You can try and get in good with her parents to where they'll like you and trust you more with their daughter. Try and find something in common with her dad and try and compliment and sweet talk her mom. Thats your only chance....otherwise to them you are just some young and dumb kid who only thinks with his dick.

I chose to just break off my relationship. I had nothing in common with her dad and her mom was just an irritating person I wanted nothing to do with. We were 21, able to go to bars and I wasn't even allowed in her room even when her parents were home. Once you start getting older you stop wanting to put up with stupid crap like that. When you're a minor you have no responsibilities but you have to follow everyone elses rules. When you're an adult you have a ton of responsibilities so you don't want to put up with immature rules.

You're still really young and in the prime of your life so don't waste your time by waiting on her. If her parents are going to be like this until she's 18 then move on and tell her you can't do this anymore because of her parents. She's young so she may or may not understand but at this age you are allowed to be selfish when it comes to things like this. You're only young once man.
 
After reading all of the good advise given you, and your excuses, objections, misunderstandings, and emotional and hormonal responses, I'm reminded of a sign hanging in my office that reads: "Hire a teenager while they still know everything". lol

It's pretty obvious that from your explanation of the arrangement between the girl and yourself, that the absolute best thing to do is walk away from it. There is nothing you can say, or even do, that will change that. It's a bad situation that can only get worse.
Suffice to say that in this situation, you are wrong.
 
There is good advice here. Being happy on your own is key and not relying on anyone or anything else (money, etc.) to make you happy.

At church, my pastor often says "It is ok to have the things of the world, but don't let the things of the world have you."

As long as she is living with her parents, respect what they want, even when she is 18. When the time comes and she is paying for her own place and supporting herself, then she can set whatever rules she wants.

Most of us have been there and are just giving honest advice (to help you from making any bad choices). Best advice I can give is to ask God for guidance. Things will just work out.
 
Frankie said:
After reading all of the good advise given you, and your excuses, objections, misunderstandings, and emotional and hormonal responses, I'm reminded of a sign hanging in my office that reads: "Hire a teenager while they still know everything". lol

.
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You're right.... let him learn the hard way on his own like I did!
 
/6 Matt

Here is the deal -- you are not yet even 18.....the girl is just 16. She is still a kid. No offense intended, but so are you. You have only known her for 3 months.

And until both of you turn old enough to be on your own and living by your own rules, you have to abide by her folks as well as your folks' wishes whether you agree or not.

For the last 16 years her parents have raised her and they don't want some hormonal gear head besmirching their daughter. LOL

Until she moves out on her own ,that is the way it will be.

And that is the way it will be with many other girls who have parents that care.

Get used to it...when you turn 21 and are on your own you will have a whole new set of rules to follow and the people enforcing them won't be doing it out of love. You will sink or swim on your own merrit, with no one trying to guide you away from making major mistakes.

You won't always understand why the rules are what they are, but they will be the rules none-the-less.

I wouldn't let my 16 year old daughter spend time at a 17 year old boy's house with no adults around either....I don't know many Dads who would.

Too many possible scenarios...too many temptations.

It takes just one "oh dammit....." moment to change your life forever.

Don't take it personally....cause its not.

Most of the guys on here were once 17 year old boys and we know how their minds operate. Hell, some of us haven't grown much beyond a 17 year old mind when it comes to some topics...LOL

The fact that sex is even mentioned after just three months at age 17 with a barely 16 year old girl tells a tale IMHO and would result in you being banned from my house and even looking at my daughter. Sex after a 3 month relationship for a 24 year old is way different than for a 16 and 17 year old regardless of what popular music and media says.

You are probably a great kid and maybe you have all the purest thoughts and intentions.

But then again, maybe you aren't and don't.

And if its MY daughter you are dating, I control the shots and I am not going to gamble that you are not looking to "divide and conquer" my daughter and move on.

It has nothing to do with being a control freak, but everything to do with trying to keep my daughter from making a mistake she might regret the rest of her life. Boys walk away from sexual conquests almost like heros...the girls get labeled sluts and have to worry about a little thing called pregnancy. You get that girl pregnant and its not you who will HAVE to deal with a new baby, it will be her and her folks.

Or maybe she will end up being with you for the rest of her life and be very happy.

But its not YOUR gamble to make.

I can say this because I was once in your shoes. I was just 18 and fell for a just-16 gal and we have been together for 26 years now.

Her folks weren't as strict as mine, but they were good parents and had rules and let me know that they wouldn't stand for my disrespecting their rules. They knew what was on our minds and put things in place to make sure we were guided to the right decisions. We were together for over a year before any hanky panky happened. And frankly, looking back, that was too early considering the possibilities.

And had I been caught by her Dad I wouldn't be sitting here to pass on my advice.

If you really love this girl, you won't mind playing by her folks' rules. Just being with her in the scenarios they allow will be enough.

Their requiring an adult to be home and not letting you take their daughter on road trips alone is NOT (IMHO) outrageous...it's what good parents do.

Do you have a sister? What do your parents say in all this?
 
/6 Matt said:
Maybe I don't see where they're coming from but I see it as them making her decisions for her instead of letting her make some and I see them setting her up for failure by doing so.
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:wack: At 17 yourself how can you possibly be equipped to determine if her parents are doing a good job parenting?

You don't NEED to "see where they are coming from"...you are not a barely 16 year-old girls father...you are a not yet 18 year old. You have been thinking "independently" and looking to push the envelope of your parents' upbringing of you for maybe 3 or 4 years....what do you know about making decisions on your own?

Decisions a barely 16 year old girl is equipped to make are way different than the decisions that a much older WOMAN can make.

Same goes for boys/men.

Her parents are wise enough to know that.

Not to sound like an old fart but when you get older you will understand and see how little you really knew at age 17 and you will shake your head at some of the things you did.

I echo some of the other sentiments here....you came on here laying your whole story out and asking for feedback...well, you got it....and typical of a kid your age you dont like most of it and lashed out.

A guy who has been through divorces, etc tries and gives you advice from his perspective and you call him "lonely and bitter"?

WTF. :protest:

To me, that shows the maturity level typical of a 17 year old.

And exactly why her parents are doing what they are doing.

I have seen the world very differently thru 17 year old, 23 year old, 33 year old, and 43 year old eyes...and I reckon at age 53 and 63 I will have learned even more.

They say "It's a shame that youth is wasted on the young" .....how true. LOL
 
Cudaspaz couldn't be more right when he said you should never base your happiness on someone else. That sets up the relationship for failure, it will be doomed.

I think it was ramcharger that said that.

I think this whole situation depends on the girl involved and how much respect (she) has for her Parents with all the pressure she's under from her b/f.

If you're 18 don't be shocked when/if Daddy rings your bell if you don't back off a bit with the whole "under my Parents shoe" and " she can never make a decision on her own" bullcrap.
All that kind of talk does is scream selfishness, immaturity and sets yourself up for a slip and fall session with her Dad in the driveway unless you ease off with the "I wanna call the shots" bullcrap cause Dad will only put up with so much of that, believe me and go ahead and disrespect her Mother some more because it's one thing to be pushy but it's a whole different ballgame when Dad hears you disrespecting his Wife...oooohh boy you better watch yo' step Son.
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Date "girls", have a long term relationship/marraige with "women". Until a girl becomes one, they really have no idea which direction they want to go :)

Grant
 
cudaspaz said:
but it's a whole different ballgame when Dad hears you disrespecting his Wife...oooohh boy you better watch yo' step Son.
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Very true. I wouldn't even want to watch the result if a boy said something to me in front of my husband. Long story short he already chased one out of the driveway with a tire iron for a much lesser offense, lol.
 
The advice that has been given here is the best advice you will ever get. My daughter is 22 and has a 2 year old child, I have heard from her many times that she wishes she had made better choices. She now has many burdens that someone her age should not have to deal with, it make life very hard. No one at the age of 16, 17 or even 18 known what they want or even how to get it. Take your time and get your life together first, then worry about relationships......
 
64X2 said:
The advice that has been given here is the best advice you will ever get. My daughter is 22 and has a 2 year old child, I have heard from her many times that she wishes she had made better choices. She now has many burdens that someone her age should not have to deal with, it make life very hard. No one at the age of 16, 17 or even 18 known what they want or even how to get it. Take your time and get your life together first, then worry about relationships......
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Well said.
 
shadango said:
:wack: I echo some of the other sentiments here....you came on here laying your whole story out and asking for feedback...well, you got it....and typical of a kid your age you dont like most of it and lashed out.

A guy who has been through divorces, etc tries and gives you advice from his perspective and you call him "lonely and bitter"?

WTF. :protest:

To me, that shows the maturity level typical of a 17 year old.

And exactly why her parents are doing what they are doing.
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And don't forget he called me a sleaze too. lol
 
Geez people, I think poor Matt's full to overflowing with opinions (ya I know he asked for them) and I think the well worn saying "we're beating a dead horse" probably comes into play right about now.:glasses8:
 
Doing the kid a favor.

"Throwing some mud against the wall, hoping something will stick".
 
ive read this thread and i say been there done that dealt with both ends, my parents and my ex gfs parents. now wat im about to say may offend some of you but idc, ive made bad choices so sue me. ok when i was 21 i dated a 16 year old her mom loved me, i helped around the house, cut the grass, i had atruck so i hauled stuff around yaddi yadda yadda. i broke it off cause she got slutty real fast her old friend came up and yeah she slept with him, so i ended it. and now shes prego at 16, so you see how me being great quickly went out the door when that kid came around? young kids guys and girls dont know wat they want, sometimes i still dont but im 23. parents have rules and 16 is that one age every parent dreads for their daughter suck it up follow the rules and get over it.

now if youre looking to divide and conquer i hope you get your *** beat to within an inch of your life cause thats bs man. its not a game, and it has lasting effects on a girls life to be called names, i never did care for the sleep with every girl in site bs. i wanted to hang out with my friends and go bowling and stuff girls were really annoing to me at 15 16 17 hell almost 18 till i met this girl who was a total knockout but shes long gone lol.

either suck it up and deal with it or move on. theres more to life than girls, sights to be seen , fun to be had, parties to go to, friends to make. and ill tell ya this you screw her and she gets prego that darts prolly gonna go bye bye bud and youll prolly be in prison. choose wisely
 
At your age you shouldn't get serious with anyone. My advice to you is to date many girls, work hard, and enjoy your youth. You need to figure out what you want in life and who you are as a young man. What you think is love at your age is what they call puppy love. You might not understand what I'm saying, but believe me when I tell you that you're way to young to get serious with anyone. As you approach your 30's you will begin to understand what I'm telling you. When you hit your 40's you will even have a better understanding. Good luck to you young man. MMG
 
Guitar Jones said:
And don't forget he called me a sleaze too. lol
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Well, maybe ya are.....LOL JUST YANKIN YER CHAIN!!!! :mrgreen:

We are all sleazy to some degree anyways....I know I am......LOL

This guy is probably an Ok kid.....Hell, he's a mopar driver so he cant be all bad...LOL

I think he is just emotionalized over the girl and he is saying stuff he probably dont mean anyways, but still...gotta filter that **** out before you spout off.

None of us mean to be harsh. But unfortunately all of us have the benefit of "been there done that" and we see what he can't. I can emphathize with him .....I was once the same 17 year old, ****-sure that I knew best.......But I can say now that I was wrong....and so is he...

He'll see that himself down the road.

We are just trying to help...hope it don't fall on deaf ears.

Oh crap....now I am starting to sound like Dr Phil.

#-o
 
gunbunny said:
As a dad of a daughter, I'm going to say this.
With my son, I worry about 1 dick,
with my daughter, I worry about all of them.
I don't know the girls parents, but I'm willing to bet they just want her to get thru school without getting pregnant, into drugs/alcohol or the worst, getting hurt or killed.
I doubt seriously it's anything personal, they're just looking out for their girl. For that, you should be grateful.
Like goldfish said, it's only 2 years.
I understand that it may seem like forever, but give her parents time and reasons to warm up to you and trust you.
It's better than the alternative, them completely cutting you off.
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x2 , how can you blame the girls parents for being PARENTS. LOL
 
You guys can say what you want about it being puppy love but you have to the remember. It may be puppy love but to the puppy its real.
 
First remember, to love their daughter you have to be their friend too, otherwise it will be a battle for the whole time your together. By saying you gave up pot for her and not yourself leads people to believe your not responsible enough to be trusted. From what I read of your responses I can see you tend to fly off the handle a little quickly which will not go too far with concerned parents. Its not about the sex here but how you perceive yourself in this relationship,she is only 16 and nothing you say to her parents about your feelings will change the fact that she is still their baby and they have the last word here. Now if you really loved her as you proclaim, then I think you would be more understanding to their concerns about her future,saftey and her well being. She might be the best thing to ever happen to you, but thats in your world not theirs, if you want it to happen in their world then get to know them, help them out with things, dont get angry when they tighten up the belt, and just try to be cordial. Believe me your not going to sway their opinion, I was in your situation when I was 18 and her dad threatened to shoot me if he ever saw me walking down the street. As far as your depression please try to get some help as you seem to be a pretty good kid with a lot of potential,( hell you own a Mopar) thats on the right track. Sorry to be harsh here but you did put the rant out for scrutiny and we're all here to help and we have all been through this scene before-Trust Us!!
 
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