Life Can Change Real Fast

[junior]

I have never posted a post like this before but I thought I had a life that others only dream of. I was about to retire early at 54 had a great wife with lots of support a few cool Mopars, home almost paid for, no dept, a nice nest egg. Woke up last Saturday roled over to kiss the wife and she looked troubled, asked her what was wrong and she said I"m just not happy, she got up and packed and left me. Now I find myself lost, confused, alone, all my hopes and dreams gone that fast, she will have no contact with me and wants her half. WTF!!! How do I go on??? I can't funtion, I'm a puddle of tears, no light in the tunnel. Not going to do anything stupid but find myself struggling for reasons to go on. God has always been on my team but now my faith greatly diminished. Please pray for me as I feel finished. Cherrish what you have because in the snap of your fingers it all can go away.

 

[4spdragtop]

Sorry to read this Junior, Im at a loss as to what to say, other than as much as it feels impossible, give her some space and she may come around. Nothing feels as bad as having your heart ripped out. Be tough, chin up and with some space she may come around.

 

[Grinder]

Merry christmas to you huh? Im sorry man. Women are evil,and just love to make life sour when it seems so sweet. You gotta keep moving,and take it in strides. Dont let something like this hurt your faith,its not your gods fault,its your wifes(this is coming from a faithless man!) Keep on keeping on,the sun will shine again. This is why we have friends,it will still hurt,but they can soften the blow. Ive been going through a divorce for 7 months now...

 

[Frankie]

Sorry to read about your troubles, Junior.
Did she ever give you any details of what she was "troubled" over?

 

[racerkilla]

hey best of luck to you. I feel for you., I witnessed this happen to my dad after being married to my mom for 25 years and one day she left and put him through the ringer. I also went through same thing , not my wife but just one day not happy huge fight and left.

All i can say is fall back on some of your good friends, and just anything to keep yourself busy.

I know its hard but i am a believer in everything happens for a reason.

 

[Hotwheelsjr]

Wow...WTF.

 

[SCredneck]

Damn that bites. I just don't know what to say. Actually I thought of several things to say but they all sounded petty and useless. Will keep you on the prayer list.

 

[d5667]

Nothing I can say will take this from you.So many of us have been there.My experience is let her go!If she comes back,it will be because she didnt make enough plans before she told you.Don't blame yourself,if it was all your fault there would have been lots of signs.Take a few days to get it together,don't do anything stupid.Sorry for your pain brother.I don't know why but when we think things are going our way,they believe things are at the worst.I will be praying for ya,keep the faith

 

[dartcuda1]

Sorry to hear this.Just so you know it is happening to everyone.My letter is just like yours but I lost my business thanksgiving day.I am in the same boat.God said he will never forsake us so don,t be down on yourself.When you said God has always been on my team but now my faith greatly diminished. Just remember God sets up tests for us to go through.This could be one.Manly to se how much you really love him.If god put you to together she will be back.Just keep the faith.My prayers are with you. Mark

 

[BrianT]

I also feel your pain. Five years ago, just before Christmas, my wife and I were on the verge of separation and divorce. Basically told me the same thing, she wasn't happy and wasn't getting any younger. Figured she'd cut her losses and move on. I convinced her to visit a counselor with me, and it worked!! She had a lot of unresolved issues that she needed to vent at me. It made our marriage stronger, but still not perfect. It is at least worth a shot. If not, get a good attorney before she does!!

Don't lose your faith, fall back on it! Put your trust in God, and things will work out, one way or another. Stay busy and try to keep your mind off of things (I know it's hard). Good luck!

 

[plumcrazy704406]

sorry to hear, but it's the turkey drop time of year!

Make sure you get the BETTER lawyer! Don't cheap out on them. There's a reason they get paid more!

goodluck, I truly hope it gets resolved before this point.

 

[dustermaniac]

Nothing I can say that already has not been said. Prayers sent. Put your faith first. It is not an act of God that caused this. You have to remain true to God and put this in his hands.

 

[rigrunner]

keep the faith itll all work out. praying for ya.

 

[mullinax95]

Been down this road before. It wasn't my fault but that's the way women want it .... "Its your fault that I left!" but in all actuality it is "our" fault. Complete lack of communication been you and her. Tell her you wasn't happy either. Sounds like she has been thinking about leaving for awhile. Most of the time they have met another man... or maybe not.

I look at it like this "Why do I want a woman that doesn't want me?"

She'll get her half maybe even more. The man always gets screwed most of the time. I didn't however because I owned just about everything before me married. All I lost was lawyer fees.

I have been single for four yrs now. Not dating or trying to date. I just don't want to feel like you are feeling right now ever again. Once you finally get past the pain then you will be ok my friend.

Prayer sent for you.

 

[dodgedifferent2]

dont have much experience down that road junior, but would she be willing to do counselling with you? for the sake of the marriage?

At least get a reason for the unhappiness.

If not there are a bunch of lawyers out there, be sure to research the best lawyers out. Some you pay dearly for and they suck. Others you pay dearly for and they rock.
Find a lawyer that was put through the ringer by his ex wife, he will likely be bitter and willing to help other guys.

 

[Snake]

Forget about the other and stick it in another,that always workssss.

 

[4flats]

Can't say anything that will make you feel better other than we are here for you, praying for you. God's on your team, now give him the ball.

 

[junior]

Thank you all for your kind words and advise. I don't want come off as looking like a baby as I have always thought of myself as a strong man and I know that I need to tap into that strength. And yes there were signs as she told me a few months ago that she felt that cars and time spent out in the shop were all I cared about and I agreed to devote more quality time to her and I did but I guess it was to little to late. My sons are at my side and support me but they are grown and have families and lives of their own and ultamitly I end up spending a lot of time alone and thaat is when it the hardest.

 

[4flats]

Sorry, man.

 

[zhandfull]

Wow sorry to hear your story. We all know that it takes two people to be happy in a relationship. Somethimes you can fix a marriage and sometimes you cant. I would hope if it is not fixable that you two may have enough trust, respect, and smarts not to give away your earnings to a couple of attorneys for seperating property. You can't control the hurt but maybe you can manage the other feelings that accompany hurt like anger, jealousy, and greed.

Tap in to your strength only and keep your respect. You can look at it like the end or the beginning and that applies if you stay together or seperate.

Good luck friend

 

[HotLines]

Energy and strength is all we have.

My dad told me that your life can change in a second.

 

[chryslerfat]

You will get through this and be stronger and alert to the signs after. Alot of us here have a similar story. Mine is kissed her goodbye before work and when I came home after work the house was gutted and the check book was on the counter with balance of 1 dollar wrote as the last entry. Yup I was left with just a shell of a house and no money. She even took the shower curtain and soap in the dispenser. I got over it and am stronger because of it. Of course I am not remarried and treat women harder than ever but it wont happen again. You will make it through and be stronger from it. BTW she wanted back 4 months later when her boyfriend dumped her because the money was spent dont do that if you are smart. I didnt because 16 years later of watching what went on after she would have done it again.

 

[ramcharger]

You're not a baby or weak for feeling the way you do. When a person falls in love, they give up a part of themselves and if that other half leaves or cheats, it's like losing half your mind and an arm or a leg. You are just going to have to find yourself again. Don't lose faith in God or yourself as those are the two things that are going to pull you through these dark times. I just saw a bumper sticker a few days back that said "Tough Times Never Last But Tough People Always Do". Truer words could not have been spoken.

A few years back (2008 ) I lost my fiance and the house we bought. My brother told me that it actually was a good thing because I got out relatively cheap (cost me about 10 grand). Then I got laid off and to top off it all off, my mom died. Those were a tough few years! I've been dating here and there but nothing serious. Next time it's a pre-nup or no marriage or engagement. That should root out the trash.

 

[danthedewman1]

Sorry for the hell your in , been there myself also. Wife left me for her 2nd cousin, after 23 years together. Drugs figured into the equation also for her. Im way better for her leaving. I even think God had a hand in this,I needed this to help make me a stronger man. But everyone,,lets not lump all women into "there all evil" idea. I have a girl friend now who is the best, my best friend.

 

[Zippie#7]

junior, I've been that way three times in my life, know how your feeling. I found that when they were ready to come back, I had moved on and had a different life going for me. Its hard but hang in buddie, we'll be here if you need to talk. Thinking bout ya.