Life Can Change Real Fast

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hang in there we will be thinking of you.i have to ran new brake and fuel line on my daytona so when i get a face full of rust i remember JUNIOR, would help me if he could.lol
 
Been there. 3 years ago now the x-wife tells me she wants out. She started making up all kinds of stories and flat out lies about me to our friends. Only because she was trying to justify it in there eyes by making me look bad. Ya... the only one that looked bad was her when I divulged to everyone all the secret crap I found on her cheating on me. All the friends joined my side and left her in the dirt. 10 years of marriage down the drain. Worst part is the two little girls that get caught up in the mess. Fortunatley, we worked through the kid issue and they are doing pretty well. I muttled around for a while wondering what I was going to do. As life would have it I met a absolutely wonderful woman. So far things are even better then the last. We are going on 2.5 years now. Kids and I love her and she us. Things are only looking up and better. So sometimes the ones we think we need to be with are only a stepping stone for something better. Seems to be a big surge in women "wanting something different" wonder what movement started that ?
As for my X ?? She hooked up with a complete idiot with little to no job, 3 kids, guy has a record a mile long including drugs, over 17 serious auto violations, no insurance, arrested for battery etc.. etc.. Ya she did real good. She wanted "something different" apparently that means a scumbag.

Best of luck....

-RPM
 
So sorry to hear about your situation, Larry. Just remember that your FABO "family" is here for you to fall back on and give you all the support you need.

You're a stand up guy and you have raised two terrific sons. It was a pleasure for me to meet you guys this summer.

I can't really offer you any advice. I've never been in that situation. Never married, been single for 99.9% of my life. I love it this way. With the exception of a few Asian women I used to work with, I have never met a woman that I could stand to be around for more than a few hours. Their logic drives me nuts or maybe the women I have been with have all been "button pushers". Who can figure them out?

Keep your chin up, take a deep breath. We're here for you, friend. Oh yeah, my uncle in Oshawa has been through 4 divorces and he's managed to keep the house every single time. I guess he's got a good lawyer.


Wylde1.
 
I hate hearing stuff like this.

Who wouldn't want to be single and go out and have fun....all while not getting a divorce? She wants a break to go meet other guys and you are her fall back security blanket. If she doesn't find what she wants, she'll come back to you. If she gets her "fill" of the single life and gets tired of it like everyone does, she'll come back to you. If she finds another guy she likes better, then she's gone and wont need you to fall back on anymore.

I've never been there but I understand marriage is a tough thing because people just aren't wired to be together for that long and its tough keeping things interesting. But you can't let someone take advantage of you like that. I'm not one of these guys that thinks all women are evil or anything, but when people want to take a "break"....more often than not its because they want to go play with someone else for a bit. They aren't sitting at home, regrouping and soul searching. If she's the rare case that's like that, then I hope it does her well. I don't know your wife at all, but human nature tells me that's probably not the case.
 
RPM said:
Been there. 3 years ago now the x-wife tells me she wants out. She started making up all kinds of stories and flat out lies about me to our friends. Only because she was trying to justify it in there eyes by making me look bad. Ya... the only one that looked bad was her when I divulged to everyone all the secret crap I found on her cheating on me. All the friends joined my side and left her in the dirt. 10 years of marriage down the drain. Worst part is the two little girls that get caught up in the mess. Fortunatley, we worked through the kid issue and they are doing pretty well. I muttled around for a while wondering what I was going to do. As life would have it I met a absolutely wonderful woman. So far things are even better then the last. We are going on 2.5 years now. Kids and I love her and she us. Things are only looking up and better. So sometimes the ones we think we need to be with are only a stepping stone for something better. Seems to be a big surge in women "wanting something different" wonder what movement started that ?
As for my X ?? She hooked up with a complete idiot with little to no job, 3 kids, guy has a record a mile long including drugs, over 17 serious auto violations, no insurance, arrested for battery etc.. etc.. Ya she did real good. She wanted "something different" apparently that means a scumbag.

Best of luck....

-RPM
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Even though it sucked when you were going thru it, you have to be feeling pretty good right about now. Nice to hear it turned out for the best. I was glad that when I went thru it there was no kids involved.
 
ESP47 said:
I hate hearing stuff like this.

Who wouldn't want to be single and go out and have fun....all while not getting a divorce? She wants a break to go meet other guys and you are her fall back security blanket. If she doesn't find what she wants, she'll come back to you. If she gets her "fill" of the single life and gets tired of it like everyone does, she'll come back to you. If she finds another guy she likes better, then she's gone and wont need you to fall back on anymore.

I've never been there but I understand marriage is a tough thing because people just aren't wired to be together for that long and its tough keeping things interesting. But you can't let someone take advantage of you like that. I'm not one of these guys that thinks all women are evil or anything, but when people want to take a "break"....more often than not its because they want to go play with someone else for a bit. They aren't sitting at home, regrouping and soul searching. If she's the rare case that's like that, then I hope it does her well. I don't know your wife at all, but human nature tells me that's probably not the case.
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I think you nailed it on the head.Junior,that morning when you rolled over and she said she wasn,t happy and left.If this woman loved you she would of said...Look Junior,I,m not happy with the way our marriage is going and think we should try some counselling before our marriage is over.This way it would give you a chance to change and possibly make things better.With her just saying she isn,t happy and up and leaving,is a sure sign she,s had this planned for a while.All I,m saying is it might workout and you get back together,but prepare yourself for the worst.JMO(been there)
 
JR, the last thing I want to do is inject paranoia into your situation, but after reading what Pettybluedart said, I think I need to tell you about a guy I work with who is going through something simmilar right now. About a month ago, his wife told him she was going to stay with her mother for a while to "help her out". Charlie (my friend) told her no prob, whatever you want. Then he bounced a check. Then he found $8000 missing from their bank acount. Then she stopped answering his calls and her mother "didn't know where she was". Through some ameture detective work, he found out that she had an apartment (and has had it since August!!!), she had another cell phone, and to top it off she had the phone and electricity for her apartment attached to their house. It's something called a 2-low? where you can pay for 2 residences on one bill, so he's been paying it all along (she doesn't work). He's been giving her extra money to help her family all along, he's paying the note on her SUV. She has been coming over while he is at work to take things - like furniture, linnens, cookware, ALL the TVs.
The cops told him that he could get the SUV if he saw it, and it wasn't in a garage. If he dosn't keep paying it will hurt his credit. He got a lawyer, his lawyer told him that he can NOT change the locks, he can NOT go to her apartment, if he confronts her at his house, HE will end up going to jail and then it is game over.

I hope this is not like your situation, maybe since your wife didn't do as much planning, maybe it was a spur of the moment decision that she will snap out of after a little thinking things through. I really hope so, and I will keep praying for you.
 
Mywife came to the house today to tell me that she is not coming back and we are finished. I am crushed but now I know exactly where i stand.
Now its game on. She will have to fight tooth and nail through the courts to get anything. Now my anger is free to come out to play.
 
just stay calm and do whats right for you man all will work out for yea.....
 

get a better lawyer, she has had this planned -so you are already behind-- do not let your anger complicate this even more. Sorry to hear, but you now know where you stand--
Thoughts & prayers to you, Lawrence
 
Sorry to hear that Junior, as mentioned in here earlier...change the locks on the doors and get the best lawyer you can afford. Been there myself also.
 
junior said:
Mywife came to the house today to tell me that she is not coming back and we are finished. I am crushed but now I know exactly where i stand.
Now its game on. She will have to fight tooth and nail through the courts to get anything. Now my anger is free to come out to play.
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Sorry to hear that! Not sure how it works in your town but I have heard here in California you would get the pleassure of paying for both her attorney along with your own. :angry7:
 
as for fighting tooth an nail. its not even worth it, try to do it quick and peacefully as possible. If you drag it out only person that wins is the lawyer. My dad spent 10-15,000 to fight to keep everything. If your wife has not worked recently you could be forced to pay her lawyer fees as well on top of half alamony for a period of time. Court sucks....

And at least you know its done done now, False hope sucks as well.
 
JUST take ANYTHING of value to YOU and stash it at friends, relatives, under a rock WHO cares just get it out of the reach of her Lawyer or kiss it goodbye! Just sayin
 
racerkilla said:
as for fighting tooth an nail. its not even worth it, try to do it quick and peacefully as possible. If you drag it out only person that wins is the lawyer. My dad spent 10-15,000 to fight to keep everything. If your wife has not worked recently you could be forced to pay her lawyer fees as well on top of half alamony for a period of time. Court sucks....

And at least you know its done done now, False hope sucks as well.
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Thats good advice if she is of a sound reasonable mind.
 
My dad fought for two years... no agreement,time and money wasted... Instead of naming each thing of value and fighting if she don't want anything but money make one big offer. Say no lawyer fees, alamony, etc. Give you the money and you sign off

I wouldn't try to hide anything either. Doesn't work. trust me. The court will say the wife was there half the time and shes entitled to it.

My mom never put a dime of time or money into my dads car but she wanted half of what they worth. They settled if they were given to me then she wanted no value. They were gonna be mine eventually anyways.

If you need any opinions or help, PM me. I did the court system for like 3 years. learned a lot about it.
 
4flats said:
He got a lawyer, his lawyer told him that he can NOT change the locks, he can NOT go to her apartment, if he confronts her at his house, HE will end up going to jail and then it is game over.
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Check with your lawyer FIRST!!! I know it sucks, but untill the papers are signed (or you get a restraining order, she has as much legal right to the house and everything in it as you do, even though she was the one to leave. Stashing your valuables is a good plan, it will not keep them out of court, but it will keep her from coming in and getting them while you are at work. She can come into the house and haul everything to a pawn shop and basicly get away with it, but if you change your locks and deny her access to "her home" you will pay dearly in court. The deck is stacked aganst you. If you do anything to defend yourself and your belongings, in court, you turn into an abuser who kicked his wife out on the street with no where to turn. Get a lawyer and listen to him!!!
 
I'd dump her *** and move on to greener pastures. I doubt very seriously it will be the same, he'll have to kiss her *** every time she rings her bell or she might threaten to leave again.
 
JR, a lot of us on FABO are praying for YOU to come out of this ok. Not married, divorced, whatever, just that you get through it alright. Don't knock prayer just because you don't get the answer you want, JR. He's still looking out for you.
 
I don't know about you guys, but the next time I need a lawyer for anything I'm hiring this guy. MMG
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lURHNLrwtc&feature=related"]YouTube - Best Scene In Caddyshack II[/ame]
 
I have seen this before and I wish I had refrained from giving any advise or making any comments. If the couple gets back together then you are the *** that caused trouble or meddled and they both hate you. Food for thought.
 
Wow She sure was abrupt and to the point, sounds like she had it planned for awhile.

Like others have said get a good lawyer, I will add get a Female one (aka Pit Bull), best advice my buddy ever received.
 
I haven't been married, but the best thing that got my head right, was being angry. One pissed off sob! Its actually a whole lot better than being depressed. IMO. It made me see the truth.
Then, eventually you realize it was for the best. For whatever its worth, I have made the decision to never go back after a break up. Done it twice, didn't work twice. If someone wants to leave, givem a shove and lock the f**king door behind them!

Nah, I'm not bitter! :toothy10:
 
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