What would you do?

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gunbunny

gunbunny

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I recently learned that a close family member has a pain pill habit.
this person is currently in jail and is on their way to a 6 month treatment program.
I discovered said family member stole some pain meds from me prior to their incarceration. their spouse informed me during a argument they were having. the bottle was presented at their house. My wife checked, I'm missing about 180 vicadin.The VA was giving me the damn things like candy and my family has a history of abuse, I refuse to fall into that, so I never took them.
I am the only person who seems to want to help this person, but they make it tough. Right now I am hated due to some custody issues.
I have decided that I am sick of being taking advantage of and used, then tossed aside when I'm not an asset any longer.
I would like the opinion of folks who have no dog in this fight, would you report the theft of the drugs?
this would mean the following: violation of probation, and a felony 3 charge and likely 3 yrs in prison.
or just let it go?
I'm afraid that if I do, this person will OD and die.
I'm at wits end with this, I've asked family, but they're all over the place with this.
 
I would turn them in since I couldn't live with myself if they died from an od. If it goes there like it does here they will just wrap it in to the current sentence he is looking at. They do drug court and drug classes here as part of the sentencing.
 
Report it. It could end up saving their life. If you don't report it and they get out unchanged and die from an overdose, you will always know that you could have done something that might have made a difference. If you report it and they get the extra time, blah blah blah, then get out and die, you did all you could do and can have a clean conscience. It will still suck to have lost them, but at least you will have done all that you could do. For me, it would be hard to live with otherwise.
 
gunbunny said:
I recently learned that a close family member has a pain pill habit.
this person is currently in jail and is on their way to a 6 month treatment program.
I discovered said family member stole some pain meds from me prior to their incarceration. their spouse informed me during a argument they were having. the bottle was presented at their house. My wife checked, I'm missing about 180 vicadin.The VA was giving me the damn things like candy and my family has a history of abuse, I refuse to fall into that, so I never took them.
I am the only person who seems to want to help this person, but they make it tough. Right now I am hated due to some custody issues.
I have decided that I am sick of being taking advantage of and used, then tossed aside when I'm not an asset any longer.
I would like the opinion of folks who have no dog in this fight, would you report the theft of the drugs?
this would mean the following: violation of probation, and a felony 3 charge and likely 3 yrs in prison.
or just let it go?
I'm afraid that if I do, this person will OD and die.
I'm at wits end with this, I've asked family, but they're all over the place with this.
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If they have a pill bottle with your name on it and something happens you may have some problems. I would also report it to the VA just to cover your arse
 
If you don't report it as stolen, since someone else has the bottle with your name on it, hate to say it but you could be nailed as a supplier, or as a seller, if he says that he got/bought them from you. If I remember right, there could be some issue's causing you to lose some, if not all, of your military benefits. Not positive on it, but you might want to check into it.
 
Very touchy situation. In all honesty there is no clear & correct answer. An addict is an addict and even if you do report him/her it may not prevent a worst case scenario. That being said, do what you can to protect yourself & your immediate family & property. If that means contacting authorities, by all means do so & do so without remorse. You did not force him/her to steal the meds but you very well may get caught in the middle if something went wrong.
 
Saetun said:
Very touchy situation. In all honesty there is no clear & correct answer. An addict is an addict and even if you do report him/her it may not prevent a worst case scenario. That being said, do what you can to protect yourself & your immediate family & property. If that means contacting authorities, by all means do so & do so without remorse. You did not force him/her to steal the meds but you very well may get caught in the middle if something went wrong.
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Yes, what he said!
 
I would not report it and would dissassociate myself with these family members. Junky will get his fix somewhere regardless of what you do. Turning him in will just alienate you from family and probably cost others besides him.
 
If you don't take them why do you keep so many around? Anyone can get into them including children and teens. You should inform the VA that you do not need these all these pain meds. If you report this to the police there going to want to know how you came to have so many drugs and you will become the object of their interest.

Your unwittingly enabling him as he must know about your medical condition and the fact that you have these meds. He probably knew exactly where they were and helped himself whenever he was around.

You wanna help him and yourself then get rid of them by destroying them and stop bringing them home.

My $0.02
 
I agree that you need to report it, and also be honest with anybody who asks that you are willing to be on the side of the person and willing to help! To forgive the offender is a big step in helping them know that they are not alone in their right against their demons, and someday they may realize that! If you never get to share your compassion for their plight, you will still be safe in the knowledge that you did all you could to help, and nobody can take that from you! JMO, and may God bless your heart with peace and strength during this time of strife and see the entire family through this! Geof
 
Well, it's done.
Filed the theft report tonight. Police understood my situation.
this person is looking at 3 years in prison.
Likely be mad at me, but if means they wont talk to me for the next 20 years, that means they're alive to be mad at me.
I'll mark that down as a win.
 
Good for you. I know that was difficult. You did the right thing.
 
Opiates are a powerful drug and people who are addicted to them will do anything to get them. If you don't have any use for them, I would suggest that you dispose of them properly (not down the toilet) and don't look back. I have gone through three different episodes of friends and family members getting hooked on pain pills. None of them were pleasant experiences with the lying and stealing that went along with it. Distance yourself from people that bring turmoil into your life, even if they happen to be family members.
 
gunbunny said:
Well, it's done.
Filed the theft report tonight. Police understood my situation.
this person is looking at 3 years in prison.
Likely be mad at me, but if means they wont talk to me for the next 20 years, that means they're alive to be mad at me.
I'll mark that down as a win.
Click to expand...

Well, I'm sure that was a difficult thing to do, but it's what needed to be done to help them and protect you. This could have gotten very ugly, really fast had they OD'd and you were revealed as the source after the fact. It would have been much more difficult at that point to say they were stolen.

You have now covered your backside, and potentially saved this person.

And I will also ad that you "could" go to court with them and try and convince the court that you reported this to try and get them the help they need. The courts may agree and turn this person more towards a rehab sentence rather than jail time.

All in all I say you did right, sleep with a soft pillow.
 
Just a thought.
What if this person continued without you turning them in and they broke into your house during the night because they knew the pills were there?

There are multiple possibilities for a really bad outcome in this scenario.

You did the right thing.
 
Bad Sport said:
And I will also ad that you "could" go to court with them and try and convince the court that you reported this to try and get them the help they need. The courts may agree and turn this person more towards a rehab sentence rather than jail time.
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^
This.

If you decide to testify or if you have a summons by the court for his hearing.

Most likely, they will try and institute rehab. The 3yr sentence is a form of measurement against probation and other programs, as a worse case scenario, if he does not cooperate.

One of my step brothers has a problem with some people he knows, roping him into doing methamphetamine. He was out of prison for 3 months from going in and out of jail over car related problems. Contacted me, told me he was working at his old job again, doing well and wanted to start building a Dodge Demon. I was happy for him until I heard that he woke up somewhere after doing drugs, violating his probation for the 2nd time.

He will be in prison for a bit longer this time, work release and on probation with rehab, the next round. He needs it. IMO, he needs to have a restraining order against the people who got him back into it, but we'll see what happens there.

People like that need to be handed over to the law, or they will see it as an opportunity to continue abuse.
 
gunbunny said:
Well, it's done.
Filed the theft report tonight. Police understood my situation.
this person is looking at 3 years in prison.
Likely be mad at me, but if means they wont talk to me for the next 20 years, that means they're alive to be mad at me.
I'll mark that down as a win.
Click to expand...

I think you did the right thing for several reasons.
 
Hopefully, this works for them. You did the right thing. As angry as they will be in the beginning, living and breathing will be more important to them in the long run. If by chance they do not, or can't get clean this time, it adds up, everytime on them.

I have had my battles, everyone has a bottom. Some just don't see it soon enough. Or have people like you to allow them to get a glimpse, of how bad things have gotten. Give them support, on the clean side, and give them time.

The hardest part, is if they continue on their downward spiral, I suggest walking away, at that point. In thier altered state, they may be taking your contact as support in their behavior.

Sorry if I rambled. Stay strong, you did the right thing.
 
I cop said he understood it was a tough thing to do.
But if they were to find someone dead with my pill bottle next to them, I was going to have to answer some tough questions.
I realize I have enabling this situation for awhile without knowing it. I had my suspicions but had no solid proof.
This person is headed to a 6 month rehab program, but they have every intention to return to their old life.
 
I work with addicts in Prison. I oversee a 56 man Therapeutic Community. I can tell you that I cannot count how many times they who do not want to stop change their minds in prison. I think you did the right thing and I hope they get it this time.
 
you did the right thing. I had a guy I knew from church get messed up with pills and I ended up being the only one he could have supervised visits with his kids with (other than setting up to go through DSHS). I would make him do a pee test before he could see his kids. I also turned him in once.. (he was staying with his folks and his mom found some stuff at her house, she couldn't call the cops so I went over and did it for her). I told her until he hit bottom, he would not turn around and we needed to help him! He was mad at me for a couple years but then got into a 1yr treatment place I had been trying to get him to go into and is married again and doing ok. He told me he was mad for a while but looking back, that was what he needed.

The main thing is to keep communications open if you want to help him....
 
Someone I work with had his wife's brother get clean last week.

Christmas Day, he called 911, said, "I'm off the drugs for good now," and blew his brains across the porch with a shotgun. :( He'd been out of prison less than 2 weeks.
 
There is a person up the road from me that had relatives visit last Christmas. He had a bottle of pain medicine from the VA in his medicine cabinet. Like you he never used it.
The person visiting wrote down all the information off the bottle, and told the pharmacy they were picking up refills for their uncle. They did not catch on until one day when they had another prescription refilled and the Pharmacy gave them the pain killer refill as well. By that time the guy had refilled it like eight times.
You did the right thing, your family member needs serious help, and prayer.
 
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