A little ad etiquette. Pointers to writting a better ad

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J-MacsMopars

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Hi everyone. I decided to try and help whoever wants it with a few suggestions about writing for sale ads. I have noticed a few ads that where advertising some pretty cool cars, but the way the ad was written was an immediate turn off. When you read an ad about a car (or anything really) and half the words are misspelled or the ad is very sporadic and hard to follow, generally you don’t keep reading. So when writing an ad for your vehicle, you need to keep that in mind. It’s not hard to proof read your ad and make sure it flows well and I guarantee that it is well worth it in the end.

When writing, be sure to kind of put things in categories. If you are talking about the dash and then throw in it has an edelbrock intake and a grant steering wheel, the intake isn’t noticed as vividly because the people are thinking about the interior. Example;

The car has factory rally gauges with tach, bucket seats with console, holley carb, factory tuff wheel, Sony CD player….

The carb just doesn’t belong there. Be sure to keep related items together and non related items where they belong. Also, be sure to use punctuation. If there is no punctuation, even though the words are there, it gets hard to follow. Example;

The 340 runs great the four speed shifts amazing and the 391 sure grip feels tight I added traction bars and subframe connectors and stiffened the car up a ton

That just isn’t easy on the eyes. You want your ad to flow on be easy to read. Don’t use huge words, but don’t use just basic words either. You want to come off as educated in life as well as about the vehicle you are selling.

As for the length of the ad, you want it to be descriptive and get information to people, but not be too long. On the other hand, too short is worse than too long. I say try to keep it no less than 350 words but no more than 550. Be sure to add a story to the car too. People love to hear stories.

ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS be sure to put your contact info. I find it amazing that people don’t ad contact info. I know on a lot of the forums they don’t allow you too. But you can be contacted threw the forum. No matter what, post your price and your location. The internet is worldwide, not just your back yard. So that little five digit zip code is important.

Pictures are worth 1000 words. Be sure to always post good pictures. I know that sometimes in this hobby, you have several cars right next to each other. It is well worth it to spend the time pulling the cars out, spraying them off and cleaning out the garbage. Anytime possible, be sure to have aired up tires on the car even if just for the pictures (if the wheels and tires won’t be sold with the car, be sure to in bold font state that they are not included). Be sure to get as good of pictures as possible. Get as many as possible too. Upload them all to either Photobucket.com, Cardomain.com, or where ever else you want. I like to post four to 10 with the ad and then the link to the rest underneath. One reason I like to do that is that cardomain has a counter up at the top and you can get an idea of how many people are checking out your ride. I post most my ads in multiple places, so it kind of generalizes the views.

Just so you all can get an idea of how I write ads, I have made a mock ad for my Coronet. My car IS NOT for sale, but I figured it would be a good example.

Again, this is only to help people to get ideas of how to better write their ads. I have no intent of offending anyone and this is my point of view on writing. I hope this helps guys. Happy selling. :)


Jeremy

***FOR SALE***​

I have up for sale one of the funnest, coolest cars you will ever own. This is a very rare 1972 Dodge Coronet station wagon in 90% original paint. This car is a classic and gets views, comments, thumbs up, etc… everywhere it goes. To make sure it gets everyone’s attention, I added new polished torque thrusts with black wall out tires and I tinted the windows. All the rear glass is 15% and the front two windows are 35%. It’s so nice on the inside and just POPS on the outside.

The paint is thin and has nicks, scratches, and chips throughout. But really shines up well. There are some minor dents and dings in several places on the body, but nothing life threatening. As for rust, well the driver floor pan is pretty sad and the spare tire area is a bit soft in the very bottom. There are also a few minor little places near the rear wheels, but nothing to out of control or structural.

This wagon is the six passenger model and therefore only has the two bench seats and a ton of room for cargo or ….?. The interior is in fair driver condition, but the seats could use reupholstered. The front seat was done at one time, but looks a bit funky. The dash does have some cracks, but it is great for a driver and gives it a cool look. My biggest issue with the interior is the headliner is collapsing and I haven’t figured out what to do. I have added a factory Tuff wheel and adapter and it does give it a little more character (as if this car needed anything else).

This Coronet is powered by the original 318 2bbl and 904 trans. It has an 8 ¾ with 11” drums out back and disks up front. This car was also optioned with a front sway bar. I have lowered the front a little and put Monroe air shocks on the rear to give it an aggressive stance. With less than 112K orig miles on this awesome ride, most everything mechanical is still in very good working condition.

I bought this car from the 81 year old original owner out of Seattle, WA and have been keeping in contact with the family. They have shared some interesting stories about the car such as it spent 1973-1975 in the Philippines. I have put just about 3000 miles on her since the end of July and haven’t had any problems. It is an old car, so it has its little noises and shakes. But overall is in great running/driving condition. I can honestly say I would trust it to drive anywhere.

I also have some extra parts included with the car. Mostly trim parts and interior parts.

Asking $4,000 obo.
Please contact Jeremy at (555)555-5555 or Email at iwantyourcar@mycar.com
Car is located in Logan, UT 84321
I can assist with load up and or meeting with delivery driver.

Thanks for looking.


evenmorepicsofthedamnwagon014.jpg

evenmorepicsofthedamnwagon021.jpg

For more pics, please click the link. http://www.cardomain.com/ride/3874782
 
Ross, you have all your tech. info in there. But it's like reading a tech manual, no fun. :) It never hurts to post the information that you listed. But posting to much information sometimes will loose a sell. Now I am not a salesman by trade. But I don know if you give them all the information they have no reason to contact you and therefor you don't talk to them. Kind of like when your looking for a job. Be specific on your resume, be sure to say enough to make them interested and curious, but not so much that they already know everything. Does that make sense? Tell more of the story about the car. It helps a lot.

PS I love the green 75ish wagon in the background. :) I need to talk to you sometime soon too. Just been crazy busy with the new position at work.
 
I also forgot to mention, try not to say "this car" or things like that. Be specific and say "this wagon" or "this GTX". Say what the car is.
 
Great info:cheers:
But you know what words really turn me off in a car ad?
"Make me an offer"
Just those words make me lose interest FAST in a car being sold and I wont even bother to make contact.
Dont be scared to name your price,the worse that can happen is it wont sell.
 
To make it easier, design your advertisement on a word processor... format and spell check it.. then do a cut and paste..

Grassy
 
Jeremy: I am a professional advertising copywriter, I sell stuff on Ebay and I buy and sell old Mopars as a hobby, so I might be able to offer an opinion here myself.

Your ad, while well written, is more like a MAGAZINE article than a "for sale" ad. No offense, but it is way too wordy to keep my attention to the end.

As a buyer, I want to know about the car, how it runs and the price and location.

Here's an edit of your original ad, using YOUR words (but less of them):
Good luck!


Rare! 1972 Dodge Coronet 6 passenger station wagon in 90% original paint. Also has new polished torque thrusts with black wall out tires and tinted windows. (rear 15% / front 35%)
The paint has nicks, scratches, and chips but shines up well. There are some minor dents and dings There is also rust in the driver floor pan, the bottom of the spare tire area and a few minor little spots near the rear wheels.

The bench seat interior is in fair condition, but the seats could use reupholstered. The dash does have some cracks, but it is ok for a driver. Also the headliner may need replaced. I have added a factory Tuff wheel and adapter.

The original 318 2bbl and 904 trans have 112k miles and run well. It has an 8 ¾ with 11” rear drums and front disc brakes with the optional sway bar. I have lowered the front a little and put Monroe air shocks on the rear to give it an aggressive stance.

I bought this car from the 81 year old original owner. Everything mechanical is in very good working condition. I would trust it to drive anywhere.

I also have some extra trim parts and interior parts included with the car.

Asking $4,000.
Please contact Jeremy at (555)555-5555 or Email at iwantyourcar@mycar.com
Car is located in Logan, UT 84321
I can assist with load up and or meeting with delivery driver.

Thanks for looking.

Here's YOUR original:

***FOR SALE***

I have up for sale one of the funnest, coolest cars you will ever own. This is a very rare 1972 Dodge Coronet station wagon in 90% original paint. This car is a classic and gets views, comments, thumbs up, etc… everywhere it goes. To make sure it gets everyone’s attention, I added new polished torque thrusts with black wall out tires and I tinted the windows. All the rear glass is 15% and the front two windows are 35%. It’s so nice on the inside and just POPS on the outside.

The paint is thin and has nicks, scratches, and chips throughout. But really shines up well. There are some minor dents and dings in several places on the body, but nothing life threatening. As for rust, well the driver floor pan is pretty sad and the spare tire area is a bit soft in the very bottom. There are also a few minor little places near the rear wheels, but nothing to out of control or structural.

This wagon is the six passenger model and therefore only has the two bench seats and a ton of room for cargo or ….?. The interior is in fair driver condition, but the seats could use reupholstered. The front seat was done at one time, but looks a bit funky. The dash does have some cracks, but it is great for a driver and gives it a cool look. My biggest issue with the interior is the headliner is collapsing and I haven’t figured out what to do. I have added a factory Tuff wheel and adapter and it does give it a little more character (as if this car needed anything else).

This Coronet is powered by the original 318 2bbl and 904 trans. It has an 8 ¾ with 11” drums out back and disks up front. This car was also optioned with a front sway bar. I have lowered the front a little and put Monroe air shocks on the rear to give it an aggressive stance. With less than 112K orig miles on this awesome ride, most everything mechanical is still in very good working condition.

I bought this car from the 81 year old original owner out of Seattle, WA and have been keeping in contact with the family. They have shared some interesting stories about the car such as it spent 1973-1975 in the Philippines. I have put just about 3000 miles on her since the end of July and haven’t had any problems. It is an old car, so it has its little noises and shakes. But overall is in great running/driving condition. I can honestly say I would trust it to drive anywhere.

I also have some extra parts included with the car. Mostly trim parts and interior parts.

Asking $4,000 obo.
Please contact Jeremy at (555)555-5555 or Email at iwantyourcar@mycar.com
Car is located in Logan, UT 84321
I can assist with load up and or meeting with delivery driver.

Thanks for looking.
 
Hey, Jeremy. I just read your ad tips & thought they were great! I have several Mopars for sale, including my "Cuda #1," a unique Viper Red '66 Barracuda I've been tinkering with 11 years. It has a cool history I never shared, but will now.
Just wanted you to know I'm going to resubmit my ads using your ideas. They make good sense.
Thanks again,
Rich
:wav:
 
J, 4 years ago I had a 72 Plymouth Belvedere station wagon very similar to yours and just as clean only in brown, bought it rust free from the original owner who had it garaged every night and always kept it clean, he lived across the street from me but your color is much nicer. I wound up selling it to a friend who built it into a bracket racer and the launch was outstanding.
 
I love this wagon =P~ But in our rules of selling does it not say NO phone number's J Mac :read2: :happy10:
There is some good info here for us to learn by, Thank you for your time and help J-MacsMopars and all that has replied :happy10:
 
I've tried replying to a number of ads lately (non-Mopar) and have become quite frustrated. I've heard guys complain because their car wasn't sold yet they had a few crap pics, offered no detailed info, don't respond to questions or give 5 word answers, don't list prices, answer questions with questions, etc. I just scratch my head and wonder. Then there is some famous semi-threatening lines like "if it doesn't sell in two weeks I'm going to start restoring it and the price goes up" or "its going to auction if there are no takers this week" or "the price goes up in the spring". Yikes. :thumbdow:
 
Personally I prefer the '71 Swinger 360 4spd ad.

Although I would like to see the pictures on the same page as the ad (reload them if you need to). Enough pictures exterior, interior, under the hood, etc... to get a feel for the car but not too many that the page is slow to load.

I don't want to read through all the BS..." gets comments, thumbs up, etc… everywhere it goes"..."cool look"..."aggressive stance"..."awesome ride"..."81 year old original owner (who never changed the oil and drove by braile)"...all mean nothing to me.

Tell me what has been done to the car and what needs to be done. Don't be vague with "Best Offer", don't threaten to "part the car out".

I don't want to waste my time or the sellers time.

An ad is to get someone to call and come out...the BS and handfuls of paperwork to back up restoration, rebuild and grandma ownership are to close the deal.

If I am just killing time at work looking at cars...then tell me a story and paint a pretty picture...while I drink my caffeine.

Paul
(just my 2 cents)
 
I have bought and sold many cars, and the long adds do not work as well as the short ones.

I disagree with the attention to detail. it is human nature to be lazy. do a short write up. with a detail list of what it has and needs. and a price with OBO at the end. nothing makes a buyer feal better than them thinking they got $500 cheaper than your asking price. ( I just ask $500 more than I want :))

in the end of the day it all depends on personal preferance on what you like in an ad.

But what works are shorter adds. SHORT ADDS SELL!!!!

it is also better to describe the worst of the car to its fullest that way when the buyer comes, he is pleasantly supprised that it is not as bad as I made it out to be, or exactly what I said it was. makes me trustworthy as a seller.
 
I don't like wordy ads. Don't tell me how I'm gonna feel driving the car. Makes me think you're trying to bamboozle me. But do give me the important info: engine, tranny, miles, rust, damage, options, color, what's been done, what it needs, how it drives, how many owners, how long seller has owned the car, and price.
 
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