Whoa There Almost Homeless Guy

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might be a stupid question but.......I am curious.


If a kid was getting sassy with parents but this kid was a female ......would it be any different?

would parents deal with a female same as some of the replies here or would it be a different deal?

Some of the replies suggest a move out would be ideal so he could become a man and all this but really boys can go anywhere and do more with less restrictions anyways.
 
Give him a ride to the Marine recruiters office. That will get him on the right path. I would do for a female child. The real world is harsh and might as well get a good taste of it!
 
RaniDart70 said:
might be a stupid question but.......I am curious.


If a kid was getting sassy with parents but this kid was a female ......would it be any different?

would parents deal with a female same as some of the replies here or would it be a different deal?

Some of the replies suggest a move out would be ideal so he could become a man and all this but really boys can go anywhere and do more with less restrictions anyways.
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In my case it would have been my wife giving the reality check if it had been a daughter at that age , lucky we never had any girls to raise , I had a niece that who's father taught hand to hand at Cherry Point and was base Tai Kwon do champ , she was ten when we met and having a father that could not only beat up her schoolmates dads but arrange for them to be ordered to report to him to get their butts kicked meant she had grown used to being as snotty as she liked , she tried it in my living room and I picked her up by the ankle and carried her into the bathroom like that , I then flushed the toilet with my free hand and dipped her until the tips of her long blond hair were in the flow , she got her act straight real quick and from that day forward I was her uncle Chris and she was my swirly girl , her father thanked me for it and she never hesitated to call me if she needed anything , she was a great kid , smart as a whip ,she just needed someone to stand up to her and put her priorities back on track .
 
Too many hilarious responses people, so I'll kind of try and reply all at once.

He has been out on his own before because he played the demands card one too many times.
Like I said he and his younger Brother are both good guys, have decent jobs and all.
He brought up the military on his own quite a few times but his Mother and I gave him "a hundred reasons why" he might not want to do that.

The two girls were by far WAY harder to deal with than the boys ever thought of being, and one day the younger of them decided to try and overpower Dad.
She was smacking the younger boy around when he was about 10 (she was eighteen) and I grabber her arm during a swing to stop her because telling her to stop wasn't working.
She grabbed me and tried to push me away, so I spun her around and up against the kitchen wall so hard it knocked the wind out of her and she tried to have me arrested for it.
She moved out that same day with a little help in the decision process. :)
Her and the older Daughter liked to get in fist fights in the middle of the living room (blood all over the carpet and all) and they were constantly at each other.
They still don't talk to each other and are in their early 30's now with 2 kids each and the younger daughter has twins on the way.

Have you ever seen two girls about 10-12 try to kill each other with plastic forks?
I swear it was just like a knife fight with both of them sporting busted off fork spikes in their faces and crying their eyes out, but neither would yield to the other.

Ah the good old days, right? :D
 
TrailBeast said:
Too many hilarious responses people, so I'll kind of try and reply all at once.

He has been out on his own before because he played the demands card one too many times.
Like I said he and his younger Brother are both good guys, have decent jobs and all.
He brought up the military on his own quite a few times but his Mother and I gave him "a hundred reasons why" he might not want to do that.

The two girls were by far WAY harder to deal with than the boys ever thought of being, and one day the younger of them decided to try and overpower Dad.
She was smacking the younger boy around when he was about 10 (she was eighteen) and I grabber her arm during a swing to stop her because telling her to stop wasn't working.
She grabbed me and tried to push me away, so I spun her around and up against the kitchen wall so hard it knocked the wind out of her and she tried to have me arrested for it.
She moved out that same day with a little help in the decision process. :)
Her and the older Daughter liked to get in fist fights in the middle of the living room (blood all over the carpet and all) and they were constantly at each other.
They still don't talk to each other and are in their early 30's now with 2 kids each and the younger daughter has twins on the way.

Have you ever seen two girls about 10-12 try to kill each other with plastic forks?
I swear it was just like a knife fight with both of them sporting busted off fork spikes in their faces and crying their eyes out, but neither would yield to the other.

Ah the good old days, right? :D
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Yikes :happy1:
 
TrailBeast said:
Have you ever seen two girls about 10-12 try to kill each other with plastic forks?
I swear it was just like a knife fight with both of them sporting busted off fork spikes in their faces and crying their eyes out, but neither would yield to the other.

Ah the good old days, right? :D
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that's why you use the sporks from KFC :jocolor::jocolor: The fork fingers don't break off as easy because they are shorter.


All kidding aside ....that is unfortunate ....its one thing to fight but in the end of the day your siblings should have your back no matter what. I have two sisters but they live across the world from me and we fight but let an outsider tell them something and its war.
 
bruceo2011 said:
Time for you and the wife to start walking around the house naked.
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Walk around the house naked, backward, barefoot, uphill both ways, and then choke them.... :D

Now we're getting back to that rear naked choke hold again.... #-o
 
RaniDart70 said:
that's why you use the sporks from KFC :jocolor::jocolor: The fork fingers don't break off as easy because they are shorter.
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Do you have to wear a skort (skirt/shorts combo) while stabbing with a spork??? :???:
 
My wife's brother has a 35 yr old son still lives at home. Never had a job for more than a few weeks in his LIFE. Now, he's married, with 2 kids living in the basement of Dads house. Oh....The son's wife doesn't have a job either. This is completely the fault of the Father !!!
 
They would be having a snowball fight in Hades before i would put up with that disrespectful attitude.
Woke up tired and with no coffee etc. are just excuses. I don't buy that b.s. at all.
He's 25 going on 15.
That's nothing that a few months in boot camp wouldn't correct though........
Boot him out, it's time he learned about what life is REALLY like.
 
Wow! Hard for me to imagine. I was 22 working 2-3 overtimes a week to support my household, wife and kid. No time to fool around, biz first, play later. I have no need or want to have any help from anybody much less my parents whom didn't raise me to be stupid lazy or look for a free ride. Getting help is another thing. We all need help once in awhile. But I'm sorry my man, that bird needs to fly.
 
When I was in high school, you were not living at home on the day after your 18th birthday or the day after you graduated 12th grade. This was not a parental rule or ever talked about by your parents, but was a unwritten rule understood by all and never questioned. What happened to growing up and being responsible for your own future?
 
Bootcamp buddy ! sounds like it's time .... I left home at 18, military does good. A hundred reasons why not too might not be the best speech, he will get discipline, structure and some good training for a solid career. There are those that go in and get nothing out of it, but the opportunities are right In their face. That's my vote .... Bootcamp !!!
 
69MOPE said:
When I was in high school, you were not living at home on the day after your 18th birthday or the day after you graduated 12th grade. This was not a parental rule or ever talked about by your parents, but was a unwritten rule understood by all and never questioned. What happened to growing up and being responsible for your own future?
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Not to defend all scumbags mooching off their parents but times are different. When you were fresh out of high school you could get a respectable blue collar job that offered a pay that you could support yourself and your family with if you worked hard and were frugal. That is not the case for today's graduates. Go to college, get a degree in a specialized major (none of that business BS) and then you might have some opportunities that you could support yourself with. The fact of the matter is that there is a shrinking middle class in the US. We're you used to be able to find a job with a GED you now need a Bachelors. The fact of the matter is some people aren't cut out for higher education, and right now, if you aren't you have very limited options.
 
RaniDart70 said:
well if you are like my adoptive parents then you probably do everything for them. I actually tried to move out with a friend one time and they gave me a hundred reasons why I shouldn't, even though they are not stopping me by force or anything.

Your house, your rules and if your like mine, the rules are not even so bad.

Its not like most good American parents are slave drivers or anything......what's so hard about a few rules that are probably just formalities. Like letting them know if I am going to be late and letting them know where I will be, and no video games or foul movies in the house. No junk cars in front of the house .....stuff like that, most of it just common courtesy.
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Rani, I've said it before and I'll say it again. I wish more young folks could grasp the reality of things like you do. Most, not all, of the younger generation has become numb to life's realities, how to communicate verbally, show respect etc.

The day to day life would be much nicer if they would understand it and practice it. I was in the TA truck stop the other night getting fuel. WHen i went in, I had to grab a couple of things. There was a young kid, maybe 10, that was walking around the store. When he got close and needed to walk by, he said "excuse me", I thought that was strange, as we just don't see it anymore, heck I don't see it from a lot of adults!

Of course, I can remember my parents saying the same thing some 45 years ago.
 
our free advice is cheap!?? LOL
if he's 25 and still home with an attitude, might ask yourself how things got to this point. I would have to calmly explain to him: manners, respect for others , the fact that my dogs know ya don't bit the hand that feeds ya!? being a man, work ethic..... etc.....
if mine, he would learn all this overnight, or be on his own....just me...
if I had said something like that, MY mom , not the dad that spent 20 years in Marines, would have knocked me clean of my ***!! on the way to showing me the door!
 
it all started for me like this....At 15 got a job mom says making money time to buy your own close....buying your own close....time to do your own laundry. no sleeping in my parents would be loud on purpose. graduated high school and started trade school working for an electrical contractor. I was approached buy my parents yet once again....working full time I guess it's time you pay rent. I moved out at 19 lived off oodles of noodles for years but unlike my brother and sister never went back home. At the time I didn't know but now I do believe there is something to tuff love. I realize now that what my parents were teaching me was responsibility and self reliance.
 
DNasty777 said:
Not to defend all scumbags mooching off their parents but times are different. When you were fresh out of high school you could get a respectable blue collar job that offered a pay that you could support yourself and your family with if you worked hard and were frugal. That is not the case for today's graduates. Go to college, get a degree in a specialized major (none of that business BS) and then you might have some opportunities that you could support yourself with. The fact of the matter is that there is a shrinking middle class in the US. We're you used to be able to find a job with a GED you now need a Bachelors. The fact of the matter is some people aren't cut out for higher education, and right now, if you aren't you have very limited options.
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This is an unfortunate truth.

Even with my skill set and abilities, it was difficult for me to find a pause in traffic long enough, to get on the road with my slow ***. I moved out when I was 27.

Granted, I did help my mom pay her mortgage when she was unemployed a few times and let her drive my car. I think, toward the end, the decision to move out was from being influenced to help her be more independent as well.

When I hear about parents who have had violent kids, I think the hard fist is not the answer.

When you are around people who would do things, like leave their siblings blood all over the living room floor, if you put yourself in their shoes, they've seen it all and no amount of threat is ever going to change them for the better at that point, any more than a person who is regularly put into jail or prison.

I honestly think you might want to take the same approach that I took with my mom, where it was mutually beneficial and I moved out on good terms with her.

Without being condescending, talk to him about building credit and about helping him save for his own place.

I couldn't stand the idea of roommates, because I like having a house. I went from my mom's to two different, single family houses on their own lots, before buying this one, but my brothers had great success (Borat voice!) in having roommates and allowed them to move out at a younger age than I did.

This way, he might be more inclined to seeing the benefits of moving out, without having all of the financial burden bury him at once, like a dump truck, while holding a trowel to dig himself out.

I think if you went about this diplomatically and helped him get some roommates, help him establish credit so he can get approved for a place, he will look back and appreciate it more than getting a swift boot in the ***, because clearly, that has not worked out in anyone's favor with your family in the long run, in the past, as I take it.
 
^^^ In a perfect world maybe.

More often than not kids today think they are "owed" something. Not the case at all, but I believe it's what's generating the problem

We raised three girls, and all three of them had this attitude, so and so did it for their kid.

Well, so flippin what, most of "those" kids are now in trouble with the law, in jail or just absolute bums with no sense of direction, because they weren't forced to deal with it.

We made an agreement with our three. If you graduate, and start college, you can stay here and maybe work part time for your pocket money, we will feed you and provide housing.

IF NOT, they could work, pay rent and help with the general duties around the house, if you don't like that, hit the road!
 
Rather than sitting him down to "have a talk", just initiate each step.

Applying for a credit card that you co-sign on is a big improvement. Have him chuck the gas bill on it and have him pay you each time he uses it. Check it every day and ask him for the money when he uses it.

This way, he can get his own card on his own line, when he doesn't live with you.

After that, start having sex, really loud on a regular basis and start being generally annoying, without directing it at him.

Start wearing underwear and socks around the house, cut down on cooking and stocking the fridge, leave the TV on relatively loud, etc. Don't fight his resistance. Just keep doing it and find your own ways to be a pest, in general. Ask him to do errands. Ask him to buy you milk and bananas, ask him to buy you cigarettes if you smoke, go into his room and clean it and put things wherever you see fit without it being terribly crazy. Just moving their stuff will drive them nuts.

Listen to annoying music that you know he hates and repeat it. Don't be a jerk, just be liberal with doing things that get on his nerves.
 
Applying for a credit card that you co-sign on is a big improvement. Have him chuck the gas bill on it and have him pay you each time he uses it. Check it every day and ask him for the money when he uses it.

HHHHWhat? are you smoking are you even raising a child?
 
My world was far from perfect, though. I wasn't getting at perfection. Just another approach that can be used with some of the tough love dished out. You could do both, ie.; Now that you have established credit, we need to start looking to get you a place with your friends, etc.

My mom was more financially unstable than I was. I became "dad" and caught her calling me by her ex's name at times, even.

I was viewed as a head of household and was expected to do things that most people trying to move out and establish themselves should not have to do, like pay $3k worth of back mortgage and make sacrifices with entire paychecks and with my cars, one of which she totaled.

The truth is, no family is perfect and I think I may have been able to move out even sooner, had it not been for some of the BS I had to deal with. I think I learned from her mistakes as much as my own, but no amount of threat ever stuck with me. It only gave me memories of resent. Adding responsibility with ability to handle it is the way to go, IMHO.
 
Yes, I am raising a child. I just bought a house and my mom would not co-sign a credit card with me.

I wish she did, because it was extremely difficult for me to establish credit on my own, in our current political state.

I just helped Amy's sister apply for a card and co-signed for her, because she needs to do the same thing and establish credit. Why is it so hard for people to understand that giving your children an idea of how to build credit and give them an understanding of that aspect of their life is a good thing? Building trust with your children is not a bad thing.

If you are afraid of them maxing out a credit line of $400, take it away and make them pay it off. No creditor is going to issue a card to a new line for any more than $500 on a limit. Having a good credit score is directly related to establishing yourself and directly related to becoming responsible with reward. I only wish my mother would have seen that and helped me out. I could not afford to go to college.
 
Adding responsibility with ability to handle it is the way to go

agreed
 
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